Aurelia
Of course, Nate already knows all of these things. She sighs and sinks back into her chair, slumps against it. Maybe she just needed to bounce the thoughts off of someone else. This entire thing has been fucked, and it's been one thing after another after another after...
Yeah, it's fucking exhausting. But she's tired of being tired. Wallowing in it does nothing, for anyone or anything. She wants to do something about it, and she only hopes... that Nate feels the same.
She thinks he might, judging from the way he still seems hurt over this. She's seen Nate hurt from love once before, when he'd been so damn defeated. But he still haunted the coastline looking for Sunjata, like a desperate ghost with no one to possess anymore. In that, she doesn't quite know what to expect from the man that struggles before her.
With Nate, at least, she doesn't quite feel as much a need to beat around the bush. She wipes at her own mouth, a subconscious mirroring of his body language before she's sucking a harsh drag of her cigarette. The harsh kind of drag that makes her grimace.
"It didn't say much," she admits, voice strained by the smoke in her throat until she releases it, "didn't have to. The answer's been in here-" and she taps her chest with her finger "-the whole time. It just brought it out of me. And I still don't know, Nate."
She's obviously struggling to say it, but.. out it comes.
"It suggested we strike first, before they come for us," her tone is low, as if it's an almost-secret that needs to be almost-whispered. "It told me... she would use her baby as a martyr. I believe she will use it to protect herself, to..." she's at a loss for words. It's insanity, what she's suggesting, but she wouldn't put it past Hotaru. No, she thinks this is exactly that woman's angle. "That baby... is nothing more than a pawn, Nate," the words seethe out. She can feel the blood in her veins start to boil already.
But the heat on her skin is chilled, chilled straight to her bone, as she finally airs one of the darkest thoughts she's ever had. "Wouldn't death be... a mercy, in that case?"
Yeah, it's fucking exhausting. But she's tired of being tired. Wallowing in it does nothing, for anyone or anything. She wants to do something about it, and she only hopes... that Nate feels the same.
She thinks he might, judging from the way he still seems hurt over this. She's seen Nate hurt from love once before, when he'd been so damn defeated. But he still haunted the coastline looking for Sunjata, like a desperate ghost with no one to possess anymore. In that, she doesn't quite know what to expect from the man that struggles before her.
With Nate, at least, she doesn't quite feel as much a need to beat around the bush. She wipes at her own mouth, a subconscious mirroring of his body language before she's sucking a harsh drag of her cigarette. The harsh kind of drag that makes her grimace.
"It didn't say much," she admits, voice strained by the smoke in her throat until she releases it, "didn't have to. The answer's been in here-" and she taps her chest with her finger "-the whole time. It just brought it out of me. And I still don't know, Nate."
She's obviously struggling to say it, but.. out it comes.
"It suggested we strike first, before they come for us," her tone is low, as if it's an almost-secret that needs to be almost-whispered. "It told me... she would use her baby as a martyr. I believe she will use it to protect herself, to..." she's at a loss for words. It's insanity, what she's suggesting, but she wouldn't put it past Hotaru. No, she thinks this is exactly that woman's angle. "That baby... is nothing more than a pawn, Nate," the words seethe out. She can feel the blood in her veins start to boil already.
But the heat on her skin is chilled, chilled straight to her bone, as she finally airs one of the darkest thoughts she's ever had. "Wouldn't death be... a mercy, in that case?"
So leave me and tell me what I already know
That I trialled and I failed and it's good to let it go
That I trialled and I failed and it's good to let it go
