Don't paint wonderful lies on me that wash away
His question stilled her into motionlessness so profound she might as well have been turned to stone. Very slowly Maea looked up, and whatever it was Harper feared to see in her... what met him was likely far worse. Because she only smiled, grim and dark and unamused.
"You have no idea what someone without anything to lose is capable of."
Fingers closed into fists, curling in around scorched palms. As if by hiding them, she could prevent him from realizing that there was nothing left in her worth redeeming. More than the lack of physical sensation, more even than the fumbling search for some kind of hope Maea sensed in his words, she feared that. The withdrawal, the darkening of blue into blackest contempt... and she had no doubt it would happen, if he knew half of what she had done. Maea had no doubt that the 'why' would not even matter.
It was not until he mentioned Ludo that the woman was phased properly for the first time. Her flinch at the Herald's name was visceral, a stab wound in a vital spot still capable of feeling pain.
"No," she stopped him, quickly and with a shamed expression she tried but failed to hide. "I cant - it wouldn't see me. It's too late to save anything. I won't bother Ludo with what I already know is impossible."
"You have no idea what someone without anything to lose is capable of."
Fingers closed into fists, curling in around scorched palms. As if by hiding them, she could prevent him from realizing that there was nothing left in her worth redeeming. More than the lack of physical sensation, more even than the fumbling search for some kind of hope Maea sensed in his words, she feared that. The withdrawal, the darkening of blue into blackest contempt... and she had no doubt it would happen, if he knew half of what she had done. Maea had no doubt that the 'why' would not even matter.
It was not until he mentioned Ludo that the woman was phased properly for the first time. Her flinch at the Herald's name was visceral, a stab wound in a vital spot still capable of feeling pain.
"No," she stopped him, quickly and with a shamed expression she tried but failed to hide. "I cant - it wouldn't see me. It's too late to save anything. I won't bother Ludo with what I already know is impossible."
