You have so much of everything but still you wanted more
A slow uncertain rise of a shoulder into a shrug made it clear that her thoughts had not come that far in self awareness yet.
"I don't really know," she admitted. "Just.. I try to think of myself with another person always around, who's suddenly supposed to know where I am and what I do and who might get hurt if I don't do things right, and... it's a little suffocating. I barely manage to keep up with you, and that's without the complicated stuff."
Turning her hands within her father's grasp, she studied his fingers like she'd never truly seen them before. Callouses and scars and the shape of his nails - things so well known that they somehow had been overlooked.
"I think... I'm probably afraid of being swept away, too," Seren added, growing quiet again. "I barely understand who I am, myself... All I know is mostly theory. Information, twenty or so years worth of it crammed into my head with this body to match. But it's different to actually live, you know? There are so many people, and they all think differently and want different things. Three persons can tell the same story but it will never sound the same. How do I know who to listen to? Who do I trust? What can I do, what should I do and when...?" She sucked in a breath and let out a shaky sigh, struggling to stay on top of the sense of being flooded. "That's already difficult. And when my body acts up, and I suddenly can't trust my own thoughts anymore... I am afraid of people getting hurt because a mistake I made. One that could have been avoided if I was thinking clearly." She was capable of doing great damage, too. Not only through her powers, but by carrying her name, and her parents legacy.
"I really don't want to hurt anyone..." And somehow, love and attractions surely would leave to that. Seren couldn't say how, but she was sure of it.
"I don't really know," she admitted. "Just.. I try to think of myself with another person always around, who's suddenly supposed to know where I am and what I do and who might get hurt if I don't do things right, and... it's a little suffocating. I barely manage to keep up with you, and that's without the complicated stuff."
Turning her hands within her father's grasp, she studied his fingers like she'd never truly seen them before. Callouses and scars and the shape of his nails - things so well known that they somehow had been overlooked.
"I think... I'm probably afraid of being swept away, too," Seren added, growing quiet again. "I barely understand who I am, myself... All I know is mostly theory. Information, twenty or so years worth of it crammed into my head with this body to match. But it's different to actually live, you know? There are so many people, and they all think differently and want different things. Three persons can tell the same story but it will never sound the same. How do I know who to listen to? Who do I trust? What can I do, what should I do and when...?" She sucked in a breath and let out a shaky sigh, struggling to stay on top of the sense of being flooded. "That's already difficult. And when my body acts up, and I suddenly can't trust my own thoughts anymore... I am afraid of people getting hurt because a mistake I made. One that could have been avoided if I was thinking clearly." She was capable of doing great damage, too. Not only through her powers, but by carrying her name, and her parents legacy.
"I really don't want to hurt anyone..." And somehow, love and attractions surely would leave to that. Seren couldn't say how, but she was sure of it.
Seren
