MAEA
It was a lot to unpack, and somewhere along the way as Hotaru spoke, Maea wondered why it was that she poured her heart out to people like this. Was she really that desperate? Like some lost child tugging at the first skirt she sees, eager to be picked up and held and told everything was going to be alright. Even more incredulous was the fact that so many went along with it and picked apart the things she said, eager to find the bullshit and call her out on it.
Maybe she ought to be annoyed or offended by the way these people kept denying the things she thought of as solid and unshakable truths. But when it came down to it, Maea was just grateful for the chance to escape the tired circles she had trampled herself into, and for the horizons they kept showing her as she was hauled up by the armpits. So far, each one had been cast in a different shade of new.
Even as she thought that, there was that urge to question everything Hotaru said. But the pale-haired girl bit down on the reflexive protests, the 'but's and 'maybe's.
"I didn't mean to turn this into an 'oh woe is me'," she mused, equal parts disgusted and intrigued by the squirming, wriggling things that kept appearing as her thoughts were sliced open. "But since we're on the topic anyway... Let's say that I accept the price for coming back, and I want to move on, and be happy, and all that crap." Just saying it made her all but choke, on a self contempt so strong it staggered her. "What if what I have become is something that terrifies me? What if the things I do and am prepared to do are so far removed from who I always wanted to be that I can't love it?"
Turning her head to the woman and the deer, she made herself watch the Valkyrie. See her bloodied hands and the butchered deer, the red streaks in her hands and the unapologetic way she wielded that knife. Two ways to be. Two ways to see herself. The deer had been innocent and pure and weak, and now it was dead. Kindness and compassion had done nothing to spare it from this fate. The huntress with her teeth and claws was stained and bloodied, and she spoke of freedom and self respect with such conviction - and she would get to fill her belly tonight. But who would ever touch a mountain cat with soft hands, and not fear those rending claws?
"How do I live with that without breaking?"
Maybe she ought to be annoyed or offended by the way these people kept denying the things she thought of as solid and unshakable truths. But when it came down to it, Maea was just grateful for the chance to escape the tired circles she had trampled herself into, and for the horizons they kept showing her as she was hauled up by the armpits. So far, each one had been cast in a different shade of new.
Even as she thought that, there was that urge to question everything Hotaru said. But the pale-haired girl bit down on the reflexive protests, the 'but's and 'maybe's.
"I didn't mean to turn this into an 'oh woe is me'," she mused, equal parts disgusted and intrigued by the squirming, wriggling things that kept appearing as her thoughts were sliced open. "But since we're on the topic anyway... Let's say that I accept the price for coming back, and I want to move on, and be happy, and all that crap." Just saying it made her all but choke, on a self contempt so strong it staggered her. "What if what I have become is something that terrifies me? What if the things I do and am prepared to do are so far removed from who I always wanted to be that I can't love it?"
Turning her head to the woman and the deer, she made herself watch the Valkyrie. See her bloodied hands and the butchered deer, the red streaks in her hands and the unapologetic way she wielded that knife. Two ways to be. Two ways to see herself. The deer had been innocent and pure and weak, and now it was dead. Kindness and compassion had done nothing to spare it from this fate. The huntress with her teeth and claws was stained and bloodied, and she spoke of freedom and self respect with such conviction - and she would get to fill her belly tonight. But who would ever touch a mountain cat with soft hands, and not fear those rending claws?
"How do I live with that without breaking?"
Lost in a world full of non-believers
Searching for smoke in a still water pond
Searching for smoke in a still water pond
BASE INSPIRED BY ODD <3
