Hotaru
nothing's fair in love and war
Time is senseless as it passes, marked only by the meditative intentionality of her own feelings so that she might continue projecting them upon Maea to help her come back to herself. The Valkyrie has no further plans for the evening beyond the hunt. This, she can spare time for. Maea’s thoughts as a predator are like the formless shadows of clouds on the earth, backlit by sun. Lazy things that drift slowly and leave nothing behind. A good thing, given the contrast of the moments prior, the screeching agony that had been the alarms in Maea’s head.
No harm done that I cannot heal from, she assures, and waits the prolonged time that follows for Maea to find human words anew. Listens kindly, keeping her own emotions locked away so as not to burden the other woman with sensing them. Oh, but they are there. They always are, where Sunjata is concerned. Restless and lying in wait. Possessive even now over what had once been hers, even if it was not hers any longer. Though the urge to rise and perhaps comfort Maea in a more physical way twitches in her stomach, Ru squashes it.
It will happen, the first few times. Trust me - I know. In a different way, perhaps, but learning to be touched by others…it is a process. How long had it been before even Sunjata could touch her lovingly, romantically, without Hotaru shying away or turning the tables so that she might force it into something harder? The Valkyrie is a broken thing, but unlike Maea she knows each shattered piece, has traced the rough edges with her bleeding fingers until they ran smooth once more. She knows she is incapable of being loved, not in her entirety, and she has accepted that. Maea will in time. Or perhaps, unlike Ru, she would actually heal.
Looking at the miserable girl, Ru privately thinks that won’t happen.
All you can do is keep exposing yourself to it. Perhaps not lustfully or romantically, but only time and the hands of others can erase the fact that right now, all your memories are only of him. Shifting her shoulders, the Valkyrie smiles bitterly. And he has already taken too much from you. Don’t let this be another. She would sit and speak with her as long as needed - Maea need not be alone while venturing through these emotions of hers.
- FIN
