'cause the bad's been slowly getting worse
and this fast lane living, it's a curse
“Shh.” Nate’s fingers clench around his husbands face as the single word leaves the attuneds scarred lips, too loud for the Atheneum. Too loud for the situation. He deserves the deafening silence, wants to be swaddled in it, the weight of nothing on top of nothing on top of nothing.
Apologies reach him next, worse than the sound, worse than anything he’d done to himself on his laborious wander from the shrine to here. It feels like pity. Nate shifts then, straightening up, or at least trying to, though his hands are pinned by Sunjata’s and there’s a slump to his shoulders he just can’t pull himself out of.
His own voice sounds far away when he speaks, no effort made to stop his accent, to not mumble, though there is a lot expended on trying to sound light. Like himself. It rings hollow. “Why are you apologizing?” It wasn’t Sunjata’s fault, not even close. It can only be his. It’s the only thing that makes sense, the only answer that all the pieces slot into nicely.
Though, even that doesn’t make sense, not really. His mind rages agaisnt it. He hadn’t done anything to be ignored, but… he has to have.
It’s a vicious cycle he’s already been ripping through, and all at once Nate simply stops, gives in, collapses down around Sunjata’s shoulders and presses his face into his husbands neck. “ Ek het niks verkeerd gedoen nie.”
Apologies reach him next, worse than the sound, worse than anything he’d done to himself on his laborious wander from the shrine to here. It feels like pity. Nate shifts then, straightening up, or at least trying to, though his hands are pinned by Sunjata’s and there’s a slump to his shoulders he just can’t pull himself out of.
His own voice sounds far away when he speaks, no effort made to stop his accent, to not mumble, though there is a lot expended on trying to sound light. Like himself. It rings hollow. “Why are you apologizing?” It wasn’t Sunjata’s fault, not even close. It can only be his. It’s the only thing that makes sense, the only answer that all the pieces slot into nicely.
Though, even that doesn’t make sense, not really. His mind rages agaisnt it. He hadn’t done anything to be ignored, but… he has to have.
It’s a vicious cycle he’s already been ripping through, and all at once Nate simply stops, gives in, collapses down around Sunjata’s shoulders and presses his face into his husbands neck. “ Ek het niks verkeerd gedoen nie.”
better tell me what's your life worth
i think it's time for a change, 'cause the drugs don't work
