I've turned the grief to medicine

Phoebe Steadman I've dropped out, burned up Fought my way back from the dead A chill ran down Phoebe's back at his silence. His distance had been noticed. Physically. Emotionally. She bit her lower lip to stop its tremble as she gazed down at the perfect boy in her arms. For all her optimisim and persistence in the face of adversary, the midwife was no fool. She took a deep breath to steady herself before looking at Harper, searching for anything that might remain to grasp onto. "Should I change my name back to Steadman then?" she asked softly. "I'm...I'm not what you signed up for. Too many accidents." she whispered. Old hurts and insecurities rose, of her own unlovability, unwantability. Not enough but too much. Soul too bound to the whims of fate yet too normal to be intriguing. She looked back down at Jude, smiling through her tears at the boy as he consoled her. Unlike all the times before though, she couldn't fall apart. Jude needed her. So in a whisper soft tone she sang instead: "A gentle breeze from Hushabye Mountain Softly blows o'er Lullaby Bay It fills the sails of boats that are waiting Waiting to sail your worries away It isn't far to Hushabye Mountain And your boat waits down by the quay The winds of night so softly are sighing Soon they will fly your troubles to sea So close your eyes on Hushabye Mountain Wave goodbye to cares of the day And watch your boat from Hushabye Mountain Sail far away from Lullaby Bay So close your eyes on Hushabye Mountain Wave goodbye to cares of the day And watch your boat from Hushabye Mountain Sail far away from Lullaby Bay"