Evie
Did you ever love her? Do you know?
It is not who she is. Somehow, hearing it so concisely said for the second time takes the wind from her sails, soothing a hurt that her rage had cleverly concealed. Anger was easier to hold onto. Hurt was simply hurt. While she had no relationship with Talyson prior to this wound, the depth of it was unmistakable. Evie had been proud, humbled, even honored by the fact she’d been voted in willingly by the citizens of Halo. Had Talyson cast his vote entirely because of Deimos’ name?
Had all of them?
It hurts so deeply it brings wetness straight to her eyes, and her fingertips shake as they reach for the hand Deimos lays upon the table, unashamed to need him in this moment. Her throat feels thick, like she’d swallowed sap instead of the unassuming syrup of a meal she has lost her appetite for.
“I’ve done nothing to make him think these things of me, so why?” Her voice trembles slightly. For that, she is indeed ashamed. The courage and fire her anger had lent her is now vanished, and she feels small and uncertain. And yet, still, grateful; that she is merely Evie right now, not the Evergreen, whose reactions would be scrutinized far more closely were this a public affair. “I insulted his pride perhaps, but the level of animosity doesn’t match. I don’t understand.” Which is why when he asks her what she intends to do, Evie props her free arm onto the table and drops her head into her hands, long pale fingers covering her eyes. “I - I don’t know. It’s not as simple as it was before I became Warden. A quiet talk in my office would give me leverage he could feel scorned by, a challenge might make him claim I’m forcefully removing any disagreeing voices the way Zariah did…” she trails off uncertainly, sharp mind at a loss for once. Hurt blue eyes peek from behind her hand, searching for Deimos’ own. “Leaving it be hurts only me, so long as I don’t partner with him during our larger projects. Maybe I should just…leave it?” It is not in Evie’s nature to let such an insult lie, but regardless of Talyson’s assumptions of her character, Evie cares more about being a good Warden than she does defending her own good name.
Had all of them?
It hurts so deeply it brings wetness straight to her eyes, and her fingertips shake as they reach for the hand Deimos lays upon the table, unashamed to need him in this moment. Her throat feels thick, like she’d swallowed sap instead of the unassuming syrup of a meal she has lost her appetite for.
“I’ve done nothing to make him think these things of me, so why?” Her voice trembles slightly. For that, she is indeed ashamed. The courage and fire her anger had lent her is now vanished, and she feels small and uncertain. And yet, still, grateful; that she is merely Evie right now, not the Evergreen, whose reactions would be scrutinized far more closely were this a public affair. “I insulted his pride perhaps, but the level of animosity doesn’t match. I don’t understand.” Which is why when he asks her what she intends to do, Evie props her free arm onto the table and drops her head into her hands, long pale fingers covering her eyes. “I - I don’t know. It’s not as simple as it was before I became Warden. A quiet talk in my office would give me leverage he could feel scorned by, a challenge might make him claim I’m forcefully removing any disagreeing voices the way Zariah did…” she trails off uncertainly, sharp mind at a loss for once. Hurt blue eyes peek from behind her hand, searching for Deimos’ own. “Leaving it be hurts only me, so long as I don’t partner with him during our larger projects. Maybe I should just…leave it?” It is not in Evie’s nature to let such an insult lie, but regardless of Talyson’s assumptions of her character, Evie cares more about being a good Warden than she does defending her own good name.
Or did you just never want to be alone?
