Evie
Did you ever love her? Do you know?
His smile makes everything feel a little more bearable, even half-lit and shadowed by the dark of their room. Familiar, rumbling tones, banter she could engage in even in her sleep. Knowledge and understanding hard-won through vulnerability and effort. Something Evie never thought she'd have - never thought she'd want.
Evie always prided herself on her independence, her self-sufficiency. Where Sam had wilted without a parent to guide him, Evie had sown her seeds early so that one day she might grow beyond the iron fences her parents planted around her under the guise of safety, ready to embrace the world on her own two feet and with no bars to hold her. She'd always looked down on Samuel with disdain for his inability to find purpose or happiness without someone else's existence.
Over the years, however, Evie has been shown how wrong she was to think independence did not come with a cost. In her years of isolation, she'd been forced to face the fact that sometimes, independence went hand-in-hand with loneliness. The Evie of the past had no idea the love that she was missing out on, or the comfort brought by a face memorized so perfectly even the shadows can't hide the curve of their smile.
Evie mourns every day she ever spent thinking she was better or more whole without Deimos at her side.
She catches herself lifting her hand towards his face, driven by emotion more than cohesive thought. "I love you," she murmurs in the dark. "And I need you to know I didn't call you just assuming you would be okay with it. That you're cruel, or hardened, or anything like that." She prays he doesn't think that anyway, but if he ever wondered for even a moment, she needs to kill that thought here and now. "You're a good man. And I'm - I'm happy you felt comfortable telling me no." Just as she hopes he did not begrudge her for asking, and would appreciate her respecting his decision. "Thank you. For coming." Her hand touches his cheek, and the burn in the back of her eyes throbs in time with her headache, but she ignores it. The hurt of Yosef's passing still lingers, and will for some time, but Deimos' presence had made it easier to bear, even if he couldn't do what she'd called upon him to do. And Evie would never begrudge him that.
Evie always prided herself on her independence, her self-sufficiency. Where Sam had wilted without a parent to guide him, Evie had sown her seeds early so that one day she might grow beyond the iron fences her parents planted around her under the guise of safety, ready to embrace the world on her own two feet and with no bars to hold her. She'd always looked down on Samuel with disdain for his inability to find purpose or happiness without someone else's existence.
Over the years, however, Evie has been shown how wrong she was to think independence did not come with a cost. In her years of isolation, she'd been forced to face the fact that sometimes, independence went hand-in-hand with loneliness. The Evie of the past had no idea the love that she was missing out on, or the comfort brought by a face memorized so perfectly even the shadows can't hide the curve of their smile.
Evie mourns every day she ever spent thinking she was better or more whole without Deimos at her side.
She catches herself lifting her hand towards his face, driven by emotion more than cohesive thought. "I love you," she murmurs in the dark. "And I need you to know I didn't call you just assuming you would be okay with it. That you're cruel, or hardened, or anything like that." She prays he doesn't think that anyway, but if he ever wondered for even a moment, she needs to kill that thought here and now. "You're a good man. And I'm - I'm happy you felt comfortable telling me no." Just as she hopes he did not begrudge her for asking, and would appreciate her respecting his decision. "Thank you. For coming." Her hand touches his cheek, and the burn in the back of her eyes throbs in time with her headache, but she ignores it. The hurt of Yosef's passing still lingers, and will for some time, but Deimos' presence had made it easier to bear, even if he couldn't do what she'd called upon him to do. And Evie would never begrudge him that.
Or did you just never want to be alone?
