open hearts

Sohalia

Don't try to wake me up
Even if the sun really does come out tomorrow

It was hard for him to forgive her - if that's what it was - and she could tell that he was still hurting from her perceived betrayal. In truth, it was all confusing - should she have told him? Maybe. Was it within her rights to keep her pain to herself? Maybe. What was the right thing here? What was the right way to process one's trauma? (Maybe Caido needed a therapist.)

Her head spinning from everything, she swallowed hard. "I'm sorry," she said again, sorrow and pain evident in her grey eyes as she regarded him with regret. A part of her wanted to explain why, but she knew it was just excuses. She'd never wanted to be the kind of girl that hid behind excuses. She always wanted to own up to her mistakes. But gods was it hard to do in practice, especially when a part of her still felt justified in not saying anything.

When he asked if she was hiding anything else from him, she bit back the urge to deny hiding anything from him. It simply had never come up. But that wasn't likely to be helpful, and she was absolutely the type of person to avoid confrontation like the plague, so she simply took a moment to run through things in her mind. The only other thing that she'd kept to herself was her feelings for Koa - feelings that she hadn't even fully realized until this morning's spar. And if she mentioned that now, she knew what it was going to sound like.

But she'd promised him answers.

With a miserable sigh, Soh looked up into his face. "I know how this is going to sound, but I swear I just realized this morning," she told him. "And I don't know how to - I don't - ugh!" she cried, running a hand through her hair with agitation. "I love you so much," she told him. "And I'm so afraid I'm going to do something wrong and lose you, and I know that just sounds like an excuse, but it's true." She took a deep breath. "But I want to be honest, and I want to tell you everything, I just - I'm afraid."

Of this in particular. But she owed him honestly, so she looked him in the eye and said, "I still have feelings for Koa."

Don't believe anything you say anymore
In the morn, in the morning