"Great, so I am doubly awful because I am Outlander and Northavener." she said with a quiet sigh, seeming to deflate with defeat. "I think its...it just seems odd to me how quickly everyone turned. I was at that meeting at the beginning of Deepfrost...people seemed unsure but no one seemed outrightly upset with Ronin's plan. I just...It all just seems very insincere to me." she said with a little shrug. "But no one cares what people like me think." she added, just above a whisper.
But the gryphon's antics elicited a small laugh from her as she clambered up onto her shoulders, rubbing her face against her cheeks. Phoebe lifted her hands to rest behind Isuma, so she couldn't fall backwards, just to be sure she stayed safe.
Healer, heal thyself.
She sighed and nodded a little, looking down at her lap. "I am not very good at that. I don't like asking for things or help..." Not in an emotional sense anyways. She asked for help all the time with physical things - moving stuff that was too heavy, building or creating things with skills she did not have; all things she could not be expected to blamed for not doing well. But emotionally? Never. Her problems certainly were nothing. Her duty was as caretaker, it was what she enjoyed most. To admit that she needed caring for, even in a small way - especially from someone she was supposed to care for - that would be a major struggle for her. Quietly she considered if any of this lashing out, the various scenarios Jigano offered, matched what she had thought she had known of Emmett. At length she shook her head.
"When I met Emmett, he didn't think in terms of Outlander and Natural. We were all just...people." she said quietly. So his sudden turn, his sudden anger and vitriol were shocking to her. She pressed her lips together and roughly wiped at her eyes. "Is it awful of me for hating Rory a little bit for causing this...for acting in anger rather than using his brain to find a peaceable solution?" she said quietly. Emmett may have been in the right mindset to be converted to this sort of hatred, but Rory was the one who had given it form and clout. She swallowed hard and wrung part of her skirt in her hands. "We've all lost everything and everyone for the most part. Now he is trying to tear apart our new relationships and chances of normalcy because...because. Because he can. Because its easy to target those who are different. I don't know." She shook her head and forced a hitch in her breath back down into her chest. "I just thought...for a moment...things might be normal again...and I'll never get that back."
But the gryphon's antics elicited a small laugh from her as she clambered up onto her shoulders, rubbing her face against her cheeks. Phoebe lifted her hands to rest behind Isuma, so she couldn't fall backwards, just to be sure she stayed safe.
Healer, heal thyself.
She sighed and nodded a little, looking down at her lap. "I am not very good at that. I don't like asking for things or help..." Not in an emotional sense anyways. She asked for help all the time with physical things - moving stuff that was too heavy, building or creating things with skills she did not have; all things she could not be expected to blamed for not doing well. But emotionally? Never. Her problems certainly were nothing. Her duty was as caretaker, it was what she enjoyed most. To admit that she needed caring for, even in a small way - especially from someone she was supposed to care for - that would be a major struggle for her. Quietly she considered if any of this lashing out, the various scenarios Jigano offered, matched what she had thought she had known of Emmett. At length she shook her head.
"When I met Emmett, he didn't think in terms of Outlander and Natural. We were all just...people." she said quietly. So his sudden turn, his sudden anger and vitriol were shocking to her. She pressed her lips together and roughly wiped at her eyes. "Is it awful of me for hating Rory a little bit for causing this...for acting in anger rather than using his brain to find a peaceable solution?" she said quietly. Emmett may have been in the right mindset to be converted to this sort of hatred, but Rory was the one who had given it form and clout. She swallowed hard and wrung part of her skirt in her hands. "We've all lost everything and everyone for the most part. Now he is trying to tear apart our new relationships and chances of normalcy because...because. Because he can. Because its easy to target those who are different. I don't know." She shook her head and forced a hitch in her breath back down into her chest. "I just thought...for a moment...things might be normal again...and I'll never get that back."
