And I feel like my castle's crumbling down
And I watch all my bridges burn to the ground
And I watch all my bridges burn to the ground
Darkness crept ever closer, and with it came fear. If she closed her eyes, if she sank into the blackness that threatened at the corners of her vision, would she ever awake? If these were her last moments in this world, what could she do? What could she say? Memories swirled through her mind, each more fleeting than the last.
Jude - oh, gods, Jude. Their last conversation would have been a fight. They would never have had the chance to make up. She'd have left him endlessly wondering if she'd have chosen him, if he was good enough, if there was a path forward through the wreckage of their relationship. And the guilt. She knew him well enough to know that he'd never forgive himself, either, for letting things go for so long, for not being there for her at the end. Her heart ached, distracting her momentarily, and she opened her mouth to ask Koa -
Koa. Her mouth snapped shut. She couldn't - wouldn't - leave a message for Jude as her last words to the dragoon. If anything, things with Koa were even more messed up than things with Jude. At least she had Jude's promise that they would always be friends. With Koa, she'd probably destroyed any possibility of even that. And yet... here he was, where Jude was not, holding her so gently, promising not to leave. Even though she'd left him, time and again, he was here.
A single tear trickled down her cheek. Her vision blurred. "I - I think -" she started, but she was fading fast now, and she couldn't be sure if she'd said it aloud. I think I loved you.
---
She was groggy when she awoke - so groggy that at first, she didn't realize that she wasn't at home. It could have been just another day, waking before the alarm she'd set the night before, except for a tightness along her right side that hadn't been there before. She shifted in bed and winced as a dull, throbbing pain sharpened her focus. Well, that was new. She couldn't remember what she might have done the day before to elicit such a sudden burst of -
And then it all came rushing back.
The moth, the Spyglass, the battle, the fall, Koa. How she'd begged him to stay with her. How she'd almost given him a message for Jude. How she'd told him -
She paled. Had she actually told him that she'd loved him? Surely not. Surely she hadn't been so idiotic and selfish. For one, she wasn't sure it was even true (although it felt true, in an "oh, shit" kind of way). For another, things were complicated enough without adding that into the mix. And she'd thought she was dying. Why in Caido would she leave Koa with that on her deathbed? That wasn't fair to him. It wasn't fair to anyone.
But then, that seemed to be a recurring theme for Soh, and the young woman blinked away hot tears as she considered that she really was selfish, and horrible, and a shitty person, and that honestly? She'd kind of deserved to get blasted out of the sky.
Then she made the mistake of looking around. And there he was, slumped in an armchair nearby, two companions curled up around him as the trio slept. And her heart leapt and her pulse thundered in her ears, because he was here, and he'd stayed, and he'd been there for her in her darkest moments, and he was still here for her now. He was here for her, just like he always was, despite how horribly she had treated him.
And although it seemed ridiculous after everything she'd put them through, but a little pinprick of adoration blossomed in her heart, and as she watched him sleep, there was only one recurring thought running through her mind.
Well, shit.
-FIN-
Jude - oh, gods, Jude. Their last conversation would have been a fight. They would never have had the chance to make up. She'd have left him endlessly wondering if she'd have chosen him, if he was good enough, if there was a path forward through the wreckage of their relationship. And the guilt. She knew him well enough to know that he'd never forgive himself, either, for letting things go for so long, for not being there for her at the end. Her heart ached, distracting her momentarily, and she opened her mouth to ask Koa -
Koa. Her mouth snapped shut. She couldn't - wouldn't - leave a message for Jude as her last words to the dragoon. If anything, things with Koa were even more messed up than things with Jude. At least she had Jude's promise that they would always be friends. With Koa, she'd probably destroyed any possibility of even that. And yet... here he was, where Jude was not, holding her so gently, promising not to leave. Even though she'd left him, time and again, he was here.
A single tear trickled down her cheek. Her vision blurred. "I - I think -" she started, but she was fading fast now, and she couldn't be sure if she'd said it aloud. I think I loved you.
---
She was groggy when she awoke - so groggy that at first, she didn't realize that she wasn't at home. It could have been just another day, waking before the alarm she'd set the night before, except for a tightness along her right side that hadn't been there before. She shifted in bed and winced as a dull, throbbing pain sharpened her focus. Well, that was new. She couldn't remember what she might have done the day before to elicit such a sudden burst of -
And then it all came rushing back.
The moth, the Spyglass, the battle, the fall, Koa. How she'd begged him to stay with her. How she'd almost given him a message for Jude. How she'd told him -
She paled. Had she actually told him that she'd loved him? Surely not. Surely she hadn't been so idiotic and selfish. For one, she wasn't sure it was even true (although it felt true, in an "oh, shit" kind of way). For another, things were complicated enough without adding that into the mix. And she'd thought she was dying. Why in Caido would she leave Koa with that on her deathbed? That wasn't fair to him. It wasn't fair to anyone.
But then, that seemed to be a recurring theme for Soh, and the young woman blinked away hot tears as she considered that she really was selfish, and horrible, and a shitty person, and that honestly? She'd kind of deserved to get blasted out of the sky.
Then she made the mistake of looking around. And there he was, slumped in an armchair nearby, two companions curled up around him as the trio slept. And her heart leapt and her pulse thundered in her ears, because he was here, and he'd stayed, and he'd been there for her in her darkest moments, and he was still here for her now. He was here for her, just like he always was, despite how horribly she had treated him.
And although it seemed ridiculous after everything she'd put them through, but a little pinprick of adoration blossomed in her heart, and as she watched him sleep, there was only one recurring thought running through her mind.
Well, shit.
-FIN-
And you don't want to know me, I will just let you down
You don't wanna know me now
You don't wanna know me now
Sohalia
