Reaching High

The way Remi leaned after him made Sam stop, pause, but he didn't continue forward, so he let it go. Likely a mistake, he thought. He assumed Remi would leave after he had been given permission, but then there was a moment of tense silence where the other man went through a turmoil he could not know. I just wish you had not done it. Sam's heart sunk. He couldn't let Remi just go, not after that. Because as soon as he heard those words he felt me too. He wished so fervently that the man he had been hadn't made this mistake, hadn't ended the story laid out in his diaries so abruptly. It felt odd to have to pay for the crimes of someone he felt he didn't know, but he did, and Remi was walking away, and he desperately didn't want that. He took a couple of steps forward after Remi then found himself saying out loud: "I do too. But...but does that mean we can't ever...ever do it again? I'm not..him. I don't..have the same ev..events. Leading up to what happened. Or the memories. And I..I mean I don't want to assume but--" Sam was beginning to ramble, his low self-esteem rushing in. He shook his head and carried on. "But I can tell you don't actually want to leave me, I think. Don't run...lets just talk about it. What we both want. Please?" Samuel At seventeen, I started to starve myself I thought that love was a kind of emptiness And at least I understood then the hunger I felt And I didn't have to call it loneliness