The Disappearing Light

"...If I am to be honest, I was...I've heard it called disassociating...I did not feel as if it were me in my own body anymore. It....happens to me often. Not that that's an excuse to do horrible things, but.." Sam sighed, the breath coming out shaky and unsure. He had had this conversation with himself many times in the dead of night, whispering to the reflection in his window, but had never come up with an answer to the question: Was it the right thing to do? The way Jigano put it, your own two hands...he shook his head and clutched at his arms. Oh, with this and what he had done to Remi, his guildmaster had to hate him now! "...It was an awful thing to have to do. But for all I knew, if we did not continue in the Spire, it could have terrible consequences for all of Caido. And Zariah did it so easily..I assumed she had to know it was a trick.." He was babbling now, clearly trying to find excuses. Jigano stood and he nodded, not looking him in the eyes. "I will be there at the forest when I am needed." Feeling he had ruined his standing in his friends eyes entirely by this point, he stood and went to open the door, desperately needing to be alone so he could curl in bed and think over it all. Samuel He took a step but then felt tired He said, I'll rest a little while But when he tried to walk again He wasn't a child