Coming Off The Rails

The look on Adams face made Peter want to end the conversation immediately, guilt and shame and other things he didn’t have words for washing over him like a wave, nearly knocking him off his feet. It didn’t make any sense to him, he’d never had any kind of crisis like this before. It had always been easy, do the work, finish the job, forget about it. Why was it so much harder with Adam here now? The turmoil building behind Peters eyes was released in a dozen tiny ways, his teeth worrying at his lips and his fingers picking at scars, at loose threads, at anything so they could move. His toes tapped inside his boots, and his eyes moved around the room, never stopping on anything, never daring to even roam over Adam. It’s not... it’s not weird. It’s... it’s how things... go.” He nodded along with his own words, trying desperately to convince Adam, to reconvince himself. A sharp intake of breath was Peters only response to Adams gruesome prediction, all of him going still at once. He blinked, an empty hum in his mind instead of thoughts, and turned to look up at Adam, his eyes wide, blank and empty behind. ”When I... when I came... was put here, I... I thought I was dead. I was... supposed to be. Dead, I... I mean.” It was a realization he had come to before he’d even been spat through the portal, and one he had swallowed like everything else in his life, even if it hurt like a blade going down. ”That’s... that’s all I am. A... fire, or a spike, or something else.” A part of Peter knew Adam wouldn’t be able to understand, just like he didn’t really understand Adams insistence that this was wrong. ”It’s for... for the greater good.” And I don’t know anything else. ”I know how it ends.” Peter try, try your whole life to be righteous and good