Love Everlasting
Roana Steadman
Soldier ☆ Monster Hunters Guild
Age: 27 | Height: 5'8" | Race: Accepted | Nationality: Outlander
Level: 6 - Strg: 24 - Dext: 26 - Endr: 22 - Luck: 11
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#1
Last time Roana had gone to pray to Safrin, she had been an exhausted, injured, emotional wreck in the wake of battling the Spire Demon and Ronin’s death. Today she was her normal self, calm, collected, head tipped forward in reverence. She knew the goddess might not appear, given her poor showing the first time around. But her mind was filled, weighed down with questions, wonders, worries…Ludo said only Safrin could answer some of them.

Other questions, those of the heart, she wasn’t she any could answer.

She laid the star pictures her boys had made for Safrin on the alter, before clasping her hands and closing her eyes. ”Safrin, I come with questions about those who may exist in this world…if you might spare me but a few moments of your time.” she prayed, hoping the star-clad goddess would appear.
roana
The soul that sees beauty may sometimes walk alone
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#2
'You are raising quite the little artists." A voice said, distinctively Safrin's, as the starry drawings rose into the air and began to glisten and glimmer as if painted with real starlight. Hands appeared around the pages, and attached to them was the goddess who mused at the artwork with a gentle smile.

"Hello again Roana." Safrin said, her galactic demeanour calm and breathtaking in the somber lighting.
Safrin
the devil is not as black as he is painted
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Roana Steadman
Soldier ☆ Monster Hunters Guild
Age: 27 | Height: 5'8" | Race: Accepted | Nationality: Outlander
Level: 6 - Strg: 24 - Dext: 26 - Endr: 22 - Luck: 11
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#3
Roana glanced up at hearing the familiar voice, the features of her face softening to a smile as she beheld her. "Hello again, Safrin. Thank you for coming." she said, truly grateful that she had come. The compliment of the drawings made her smile and nod. "It would seem so. They made you these paintings, so you would not miss the stars so much during the long days." she said with a light laugh. Such things only children could believe, but the sentiment of keeping her happy was still there. "I will tell the boys you like them." That would make them happy.

But to business. She did not wish to waste the goddess' time.

"I came hoping you could tell me the whereabouts of my husband, Brahm. He didn't appear with the rest of us but...people have appeared from our world outside tbe barrier too apparently." she said, brows furrowing a bit. "I've been told he isn't among the dead and that...if he is here, you would be able to tell." she said, anxiety bubbling up in her stomach.
roana
The soul that sees beauty may sometimes walk alone
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#4
Safrin's expression dappled with adoration and affection for a moment. The love of the very young was perhaps the most sweet type of praise she could ever hope for. "Indeed, do tell them. I will not miss the stars so much with their drawings to look at." She agreed with a small laugh.

Raising a brow at the ex-captain's request, Safrin narrowed her eyes for a moment. "Well at least this time you have asked me about something that I can answer you about." She said at last.

"Your hand—" Safrin beckoned, holding her own out for the soldier to take. "Concentrate on him as clearly as you can. Every detail, and we will see what I can find.."
Safrin
the devil is not as black as he is painted
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Roana Steadman
Soldier ☆ Monster Hunters Guild
Age: 27 | Height: 5'8" | Race: Accepted | Nationality: Outlander
Level: 6 - Strg: 24 - Dext: 26 - Endr: 22 - Luck: 11
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#5
She smiled, glad to see the goddess so pleased by her sons’ work. It made her very proud in a way – her children had such capacity for thoughtfulness and love, even at their young age, that she could be nothing but grateful to call them hers.

But Safrin’s next words were a bit admonishing, and Roana looked down as if she were a chided child herself. By comparison to the goddess, she certainly was nothing more than a child. ”I…I am truly sorry for my behavior and questioning that day. It was out of line. Is there anything I might do to make it up to you?” she asked, feeling embarrassed and responsible to fix her mistake, if it were even possible. Some insults were too deep to repair.

At once she held out her hand, gently holding the goddess’s hand in hers. She nodded and closed her bright blue eyes, bringing Brahm to her mind’s eye. The image was as detailed as Ludo’s illusions. It was more than just the perfect memory of his appearance. It was the sound of his voice, his scent, the feel of his hands across her skin, the way his eyes crinkled when he laughed – booming and jovial – his incredible strength, but gentle tenderness, how everything he did he did so fully and in grandiose fashion. He felt big, talked loud, fought and worked hard, his very presence so immense that were it a star it would most certainly be a sun of such size and brightness he would make the one they knew jealous. All this is pictured and concentrated on with such clarity of vision that one would think she had saw him but moments before.
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The soul that sees beauty may sometimes walk alone
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#6
Safrin merely waved her hand. "Humanity has become so touchy, lately." The goddess mused, thinking of her recent conversation with Jigano. "That you asked something of me that I could not provide isn't a situation that requires an apology, or whatever guilt you are holding on to."

Taking Roana's hand, the ex-captain would feel a star-white pulsing of energy surging pleasantly through her veins as Safrin's magic worked within her. It didn't take long though, and quickly the connection was broken. Holding Roana's fingers gently for a moment, Safrin shook her head.

"He is not here, nor was he ever. Whatever images you have seen of him were plucked from your mind by Ludo...nothing more." Softly the goddess frowned, though she'd not make hazy what needed to be clear facts. " I am sorry."
Safrin
the devil is not as black as he is painted
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Roana Steadman
Soldier ☆ Monster Hunters Guild
Age: 27 | Height: 5'8" | Race: Accepted | Nationality: Outlander
Level: 6 - Strg: 24 - Dext: 26 - Endr: 22 - Luck: 11
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#7
Roana smiled, shoulders sinking in a bit of relief as the goddess waved off her apology. ”I appreciate that, Safrin, thank you.” she said. At least that was something she could put to rest in the past, and move forward without it hindering her.

But her words upon releasing her hand felt more like a stab wound than any real wound she had ever received. The former Captain swallowed silently, as a whirlwind of emotions rushed through her. He wasn’t here. He never was. Would he ever be? People still appeared every day, should she wait? Should she spend her life pining after a man who might never exist in the same world as her again? Loving and living for a person who only existed in dreams and illusions and planes of existence beyond her mortal reach? Was that actually living though, or just existing? Was that really fair to her boys, her precious sons who really deserved a father to play with, to adventure with, to teach them what she could not about being a man as they grew?

Briefly her mind drifted to her former captain counterpart, one of her only friends left in this world. How kind he was to her, how good he was with her boys. Was she allowed to…to want again? Even while her heart broke for one man could she really be so selfish to pine for another, and one who still pined for his lost love?

”Thank you, Safrin.” she said, opening tear filled eyes, all while smiling. ”It…it is not the news I wanted to hear but…it puts things into a better perspective.” her hand was quick to rise and wipe at her eyes, desperate to maintain an appearance of strength, even though it was certainly clear to one of the divine that inside she was conflicted and crumbling.

Roana struggled to remember that she was only human, and that she sometimes needed to crash and break down.
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The soul that sees beauty may sometimes walk alone
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#8
"He is indeed handsome." Safrin mused, her eyes twinkling with an internal light that radiated out across her precise and beautiful features. Though whether she was talking about Brahm, or Ronin was intentionally left vague.

Perhaps that was the point.

"You are welcome, Roana. I am sorry for your loss." Safrin had no real notion of why the Voice chose those that she did, and so she'd not merely offer empty words of consolation or hope. "Would a set of wings ease your loss? Or perhaps hooves upon which you could gallop...lungs that breathe water, or eyes that can see things your current ones cannot.."
Safrin
the devil is not as black as he is painted
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Roana Steadman
Soldier ☆ Monster Hunters Guild
Age: 27 | Height: 5'8" | Race: Accepted | Nationality: Outlander
Level: 6 - Strg: 24 - Dext: 26 - Endr: 22 - Luck: 11
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#9
”Indeed, he is.” Roana said with a soft sigh. Brahm or Ronin? It did not matter which. The sentiment was true for both. Whoever Safrin meant, Roana agreed wholeheartedly. With the former, it was in vain, the love of her life lost to her. With the latter…was she really at liberty to say so to him while he still mourned the loss of the mother of his child? Was it worth risking the loss of her best friend to say and pursue?

”Thank you Safrin, your sentiment is well received and cherished.” she said with a small smile towards the goddess. Her offer took her by surprise though, and she hesitated, considering what the goddess was offering her. ”I appreciate the offer but…unfortunately this is the sort of loss only time can heal, or so I have been told.” she said quietly, a melancholic smile on her lips. Becoming an Attuned was not something she would decide while her emotions were a mess. That wasn’t wise. It was a life changing sort of decision after all, not one that should be made in the heat of the moment. A quiet laugh escaped her lips and she shook her head. ”How ever will I tell my boys?”
roana
The soul that sees beauty may sometimes walk alone
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#10
"Perhaps.." The goddess muses affectionately. "But you say that having never flown. Never known the wind on fur or scales or hide."

Raising a brow and giving the ex-captain a softly concerned look, the goddess merely could shrug. "What have you told them so far?" Lies were not above Safrin. Honesty had never been a thing she vowed only to be. And the deity had seen Roana's triplets. Why not let them linger in whatever purgatory of hope she'd already placed them in?
Safrin
the devil is not as black as he is painted
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Roana Steadman
Soldier ☆ Monster Hunters Guild
Age: 27 | Height: 5'8" | Race: Accepted | Nationality: Outlander
Level: 6 - Strg: 24 - Dext: 26 - Endr: 22 - Luck: 11
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#11
Roana smiled at Safrin, though it didn’t reach her eyes. Not for anything the goddess had done or said, but because her grief was fighting for supremacy. ”This is true.” she conceded. ”Yet it is still a decision I would rather make when I am a bit more…collected, if that is alright?” she asked, not feeling ready to make such a choice now. It felt too sudden, too rushed in the midst of the emotional storm she was currently battling.

”That I don’t know where he is, but wherever he is he is certainly looking for us.” she said with a mirthless laugh, feeling the weight of this burden crashing over her like waves. How did you tell your child their father was not dead, but they could never see him again? Of all the hardships she had overcome in her life, this seemed the most insurmountable. She was supposed to protect her boys, shield them from harm and pain, but this was not something she could truly keep from them. Even now, with her little white lies, her little sprinklings of hope they hurt. She heard their murmurs for their father at night, she saw how they watched other children with their fathers with longing. To know the suffering this would cause them broke her heart anew, and she needn’t wonder which heartbreak hurt worse. ”These are not the sorts of things one ponders explaining to their children when they are still this young.” she said, her voice tight with emotion.

”I don’t know if you have children of your own, but I think a goddess of life would understand more than most why this troubles me so.” To bring something into the world, to create it, to give it life, to know you would do anything for this little life you have made and love it so fully… and to know you are about to bring them such pain; it was true suffering. ”Though, I suppose you did say humans have gotten touchy lately.”
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The soul that sees beauty may sometimes walk alone
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#12
"Anytime. The gift of nature...of being attuned with all we can offer you, is more valuable than you know." The goddess answered with a gentle shrug.

Listening to the ex-captain, Safrin nodded. "That still sounds true to me." The goddess murmured, mostly silent in the wake of Roana's grief. Still, she raised a brow at what sounded like a charge on her part, to care more. "One does not govern over life without understanding the necessity of death." She replied calmly. "As I said, I see no harm in delaying telling them. What you have explained to them so far is true; as true as you knew it to be before. If they are too young to understand, then best it wait. If they are not...then their sadness is inevitable in a sense. Sadness is one of your most human traits. " She added with another small shrug.
Safrin
the devil is not as black as he is painted
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Roana Steadman
Soldier ☆ Monster Hunters Guild
Age: 27 | Height: 5'8" | Race: Accepted | Nationality: Outlander
Level: 6 - Strg: 24 - Dext: 26 - Endr: 22 - Luck: 11
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#13
”I am certain it is, and I appreciate your patience all the more for it.” Roana said to the goddess with a soft smile.

She supposed it was still true, and Roana nodded obediently to the goddess’s words. Of course her perspective was skewed, given her mortal lens and the life of a soldier she had led, but she understood what Safrin said in her way. ”Where there is life there is death, they are inextricable, a truth that is painful to learn.” she said quietly in agreement with her, a statement she had heard her uncles mutter when her father had died and left she and her siblings orphaned. And really, she could tell her boys that even Safrin did not know where there father was, but wherever he was, he was indeed looking for them. And they would be sad, it was a sadness she could not protect them from unfortunately. With a deep steadying breath, and another quick wipe at her eyes, Roana pulled herself together. There was no point in being emotional about it. It was what it was and it could not be changed. ”Thank you, Safrin. Your perspective is helpful.” she said with a small smile up at her. She desperately wished to ask about her conundrum with Ronin too, but didn't know how to phrase it.

But she needed to change the subject, or certainly her emotions would rise again. Her eyes caught sight of the paintings again and a mischievous grin curved her lips. ”You should know that little Aoife also made you a star painting. I hope Ronin doesn’t neglect to bring it to you.” she said, knowing it possible that she was possibly setting him up for some mild chiding. What were best friends for though if not for getting you in a bit of trouble?
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The soul that sees beauty may sometimes walk alone
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#14
The goddess shrugged. She very much doubted that her perspective was helpful. It rarely was to the mortals after all, with their candle-length lives and their tiny minds.

The topic of Ronin and Aoife especially brought a dazzling smile to Safrin's face as she nodded. "Ronin...has his own way of contacting me, you might say." She replied, sweeping a strand of hair from her eyes. "But I will be sure to mention that there is new artistic talent for Aoife to compete with."
Safrin
the devil is not as black as he is painted
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