[God Quest] I'll bring you further roses, but it does you no good

remi there's a hole in my neighbourhood down which of late I cannot help but fall Thus far Loren was the only one who knew that Remi was in love, but if ever there was someone to understand just how difficult a thing like that would be for the alchemist, it would be his mother. He expected happy surprise, bliss and perhaps laughter. But such a casual dismissal? Remi shivered slightly and drew the woman all the closer to himself for it. Won’t need it? Better things? But what could be better than love? Hadn’t she always been the one to tell him that? The mention of meeting someone made the alchemist tilt his head curiously, the naive and willingness of his gaze spilling out across his features and transforming his expression into something boyish and lost. ”but who–“ He asked. And as she answered, Remi had to immediately stifle the urge to drop her as the sickly sounding word wiggled into his ear. ”Who-“ He demanded, though it was unclear if he meant who was she, or who the name she’d whispered referred to. Struggling in earnest now, Remi tried to back up. It felt like moving through a dream, or swimming against a current. With wide and frightened eyes, the alchemist’s arms shook slightly as his energy was sapped away by his efforts to take a few simple steps backwards. “Mother...” He whispered, swallowing hard. “Your voice...how....” Blinking stupidly, realizing too late, his lip quivered. “Mother how are you here? “

ludo Braved the forests, braved the stone Braved the icy winds and fire Braved and beat them on my own As his struggles became more pronounced she wound her arms further about him, fingers playing through his curls, her free hand smoothing out a crease in his shirt. He panicked - she calmed. Not long now. "Remi, my dear boy... I'm dead. You know that," she said, her accent lilting around his name. "And so are you." She smiled sweetly; the sucking muck was grabbing at the backs of his thighs now, fighting to grab him and pull him down further. "Well... not quite yet. But soon. Then we'll be together, and I can take care of you. You'll never feel alone, ever again. I'll be there for you, always."

remi there's a hole in my neighbourhood down which of late I cannot help but fall As her hands tightened around him, Remi’s panic increased. No longer did she feel like a frail thing, but like something biding its time and sinking something into him. no wait. Not sinking sank “No..you were dead but...how can you be here if....Am I–“ He meant to ask if he was dead; if that’s what all of this was. But her words halted the question in his throat and made his mouth suddenly go impossibly dry. “Mother I–“ He began hastily, licking at his lips and struggling backwards in earnest now. Remi pulled his head back as if wanting to get space between them to regard the woman in his arms properly, but of course that would mean risking dropping her. “I do not feel alone. I have–“ So many faces flashed before his eyes. Vai. Loren. Ianto. Martha. Delphine. Isla. Ashetta. Ronin. He wasn’t alone, and though he might have felt at times isolated, he had never been alone. In his times of need there had always been someone. “Nn-n—no–“ The word tried to stutter through his lips, but something else did as well. A growl. It was a sound unlike anything Remi had ever made before, but as the woman in his arms tried to close the latch to the cage she was forcing him into, something primal in him seemed to awaken. Something which had never before seen the light of day.

ludo Braved the forests, braved the stone Braved the icy winds and fire Braved and beat them on my own "But of course you do, dear," she whispered, brushing a hand across his cheek with agonising affection. "If you didn't feel alone, why did you come to the woods without another soul around to find you? Why did you follow me? Remi, you don't have to worry any more..." His progress back through the muck would be about as treacherous as staying there to sink to his doom, and she peered up at him, laced about him impossibly. "Please, Remi. No more struggling. You can rest, with me. Safe..." The growl that cut through the air brought a look of surprise to her face for perhaps the first time since they'd met. "What are you doing?"

remi there's a hole in my neighbourhood down which of late I cannot help but fall Blinking, her hand against his cheek both soothing and disgusting, he faultered. “I...I just wanted a walk. To see what the lands were like. “ He stammered, sounding just like a boy trying to explain what appeared to be a misdeed. “I followed...” Swallowing, Remi’s mind frantically tried to think up an answer. He’d followed because she was his mother. But she was dead; long dead. And he hadn’t even questioned it. “Because I love you. “ He whispered, unfailingly uttering the truth. “Nn—n-“ He tried again, the muscles in his back and legs straining to remain upright despite the depths of the muck and mire cementing him in place. What was he doing indeed. Blinking sharply, Remi’s pale eyes suddenly were tinged with gold and his pupils changed slightly. Though they did not resemble the amber avian eyes that he was used to. No. These were much more predatory and distinctively feline. Pulling back his lips, large glistening white teeth appeared; sharp and pointed. “You are not–“ Remi tried to say, his lips moving around his teeth awkwardly. “You are not her.” He growled finally, eyes fully becoming a harsh gold as the fingernails on his hands grew into claws and his lip rose in a snarl.

ludo Braved the forests, braved the stone Braved the icy winds and fire Braved and beat them on my own No. Not fair. Losing him. "Then stay," she pleaded, at his saying that he loved her. "Stay with me, Remi. Don't leave me alone." As he changed, becoming more harsh, more feral, she remained the image of innocent confusion. Inviting, pulling him back towards the sweet, deep dark. "You're my son," she whispered, hurt in her expression. "You read to me. You brought me flowers... I never got a chance to watch you grow up. It doesn't have to be that way now."

remi there's a hole in my neighbourhood down which of late I cannot help but fall Her pained expression stunned him for a moment, and the primal snarl fell off his face. “You wouldn’t...” His teeth clicked together. “She would never ask that of me.” His mother would never ask him to die. She was anything but selfish. It was she who was his foundation for selflessness. His hands shook around her, claws extending. “I will not die here.” Remi roared; though it wasn’t Remi. Not really. It was something trapped and feral. Something wild that would not be caged nor left to sink into this sweet and consuming darkness. With a roar that quickly transformed him, the arms that had been holding her twisted and straightened; hands becoming paws, joints realigning themselves. Staggering slightly on four paws now, the lion issued a deep and throaty growl. Only he didn’t run. Lions did not run. Lions attacked. YOU ARE NOT MY MOTHER He thought with furious intensity, the hurt and upset at having the preciousness of the woman he loved most fouled and used in such a way only adding to the frenetic passion and fury that this new animal form was feeding off of. Despite the muck around, Remi tried to lunge forward, claws extended, aiming for her throat.

ludo Braved the forests, braved the stone Braved the icy winds and fire Braved and beat them on my own Well how about that. The scream that tore from her throat as the hulking feline lunged for her echoed and pierced around the marshes in a way that did not seem entirely natural. Claws found flesh, raking and tearing, and blood gushed and sprayed and painted the lion and its mother with crimson. She struggled in the muck, trapped beneath the beast, green eyes round and frightened and welling with tears. She tried to speak, choking around red, gasping for a breath that wouldn't come. And white hands snatched out of the mud, encircling her, dragging her down, down, down. A bloated face emerged from the deep, peeping over her shoulder to gaze at Remi with a sneer. His father. Then they were gone, dragged out of sight. The bog swallowed them up whole, and silence reigned in its wake.

remi there's a hole in my neighbourhood down which of late I cannot help but fall Claws sank easily into flesh and the mind that was not quite Remi’s practically swooooned at the sensation. She was like clay beneath his strength, and as blood coated his paws, Remi could feel his powerful jaws opening to close around her throat even as she tried to speak. Blood flooded his mouth, metallic and warm. Senses that were heightened with bloodlust sang brightly in his head, blurring his vision and shutting down every one of his instincts save for the need to kill. To devour. To be free. Leaning back, Remi watched through the beast’s eyes as pale hands reached up through the mud as if it were water instead of a cement and honey mixture from hell. And that’s when he saw it. The face of his father. A sound louder than anything the alchemist had ever made rumbled from deep in his belly, expelled through his lips with such furiousity that blood and saliva coated the quickly receiving face of his dead mother cradled in the arms of his father. Remi couldn’t remember the last time he even saw them touching, actually. Crashing downwards, Remi tried to evicerate the face of Enuccio with little success. Blood roared in his ears. Panting with a breath heavy with the taste of his mother, the lion slogged his way backwards, dexteriously moving towards more solid ground.

ludo Braved the forests, braved the stone Braved the icy winds and fire Braved and beat them on my own The lion emerged from the marshes, coated in muck and blood... to the sound of slow applause. Excited. It had gotten over-excited, whispering that silly little thing into his ear. If not for that... if not... ah, but what a glorious crescendo it had created. "Bravo, sweetling. Bravo, bravo..." The voice was like honey and sickness, like a song that was ever so slightly off key. It came from the boughs of an overhanging tree, where a humanoid figure sat swinging its legs. It was tall, and skinny probably, covered in ribbons of black and grey fabric that seemed to move and writhe about it of their own accord. Alive, almost, they wreathed it and made it impossible to discern many details. Upon its face it wore a stark, white mask. "Come now. I would speak with the man."

remi there's a hole in my neighbourhood down which of late I cannot help but fall The lion heard, but did not react. Somewhere deep inside however, Remi did stir. His mind was as mired and coated as his body was, but slowly it did rouse at the sound of Ludo’s voice. Staring up the lion snarled, but the amber bled away to green and after a moment Remi knelt on the ground. Blood coated him even in this body, and rather than the proud and ferocious look that the lion had possessed only moments ago, Remi trembled and looked forlornly despondent. His mother had died again and he had killed her Looking up, his shoulders shivering slightly as he leaned back on his heels and wrapped his arms around himself, Remi tried to get a measure of the thing in the tree above. Everything Vai had said about deities was completely lost on him. He should have thought of Frey, but didn’t. He could only see that mask and hear the dissonant melody of its voice.

ludo Braved the forests, braved the stone Braved the icy winds and fire Braved and beat them on my own "Yes, yes. We growl and snarl and kill our mothers, all of us." One of the strips of fabric lifted and waved about, as if it was making a dismissive sort of hand gesture, but no actual limb appeared to complete the motion in earnest. When the lion became a man once more, Ludo hopped from the bough of its tree, though rather than obeying any sort of law and dropping to the ground, it seemed to float and glide, until the mask was level with Remi's face. There it remained, hovering, tilting curiously. "You seemed such an easy one, sweetling... Who knew that, within, beat the heart of a lion." Surging up, the mask and its tangle of ribbons hovered some distance above Remi, regarding him coolly. "Ludo," it supplied for its name. "I shall be sure to call upon you again. Or the ones you love... they may be better sport even than you." A tinkling laugh left the mask. "For your considerable and unexpected resolve, however, tonight I am of a mind to grant you a boon. What say you?"

remi there's a hole in my neighbourhood down which of late I cannot help but fall The words felt like a catapult of grief, a pandemonium of reinforced terror. He had killed her (she was already dead) and even now he could taste her blood on his tongue The ethereal movement of the being's garment was the least of Remi's concerns, and only vaguely did he even notice the movement at all. The mask was brilliant in its blemish-free sheen, and although Remi's gaze rose shakily to try and gaze into the being's eyes, it quickly dropped again and his mind replayed the scene of seconds ago. Shivering, but not from the cold, Remi's gaze bore into the ground even as Ludo shifted and spoke. Claws appeared in the earth, digging deep into the soil. Tilting his head as if fighting some internal battle, Remi stifled a cry. "Was she.." He gasped through lips that were far too dry even as tears spilled down his blood-stained cheeks. "Was she ever real?" He didn't care about the being's name (he would later though). Its threat promise chilled the alchemist to his core. "I deserve nothing other than death for what I have done." Remi said finally with a surprising amount of resolve. Slowly his pale sea-glass green eyes rose to stare in the horrifically blank canvas of the mask.

ludo Braved the forests, braved the stone Braved the icy winds and fire Braved and beat them on my own A flicker of fabric snaked up to tap at the porcelain cheek of the mask, as if Ludo was deep in thought. "She was as real as you wanted her to be," it said at last. "And my, at first wasn't she real? Wonderful, truly. It let out a wistful sigh, before gazing down at Remi once more and tilting its head. As he said he deserved death, Ludo snorted - a remarkably childish sound, all things considered. "Oh now you want death? It could have come wrapped up in a mother's love only a few moments ago. No." It's discordant tone was spiteful. "No death for you. I have something better, though." Here Ludo swooped down again, so the mask was mere inches from Remi's face. "There is a name for the club I am about to let you join," it said, "And given the fate of your poor, sweet mother, I daresay it suits you." Closer, closer still, until Ludo was all but enveloping him in tendrils of fabric. "Abandoned," it whispered.