Ronin's entrance brought Jigano's head up, hopeful for a moment that the cavalry had arrived. That hope was quickly dashed, and then Kiada joined in, and he drew in a slow breath, feeling the sickness spreading throughout his gut. "Would that I had had the time," he said with a sigh. " Ronin , you've known Edy a lot longer than I have. Have you ever known her for her patience? I'd already pushed her by wanting to know what she was planning before she did it. I may have misread the situation, but I didn't think, if I walked out the door without giving her an answer, that the invitation would have remained, or that I could have used my new leverage to get you into the position you stepped up for."
He felt frustration bubbling with the desperate fear in his gut, but he tamped it down, drawing on his experience as a performer to push through. "I was hoping we could come up with some plans once we had the position to start dismantling what Zariah had made, but I admit that I made mistakes. Still, you paint me as damned either way. If I had thrown my name in back then, and you had still had the most votes, I would be in no less trouble now. Probably more. We chose you to be our leader. I voted for you as well. And I thought you wanted to try and get control of the situation by as peaceful a means as possible. At the time, this afternoon and in the heat of the moment, this seemed like the best way to do it."
He looked around at the unhappy faces, some looking betrayed, or perhaps he was simply reading too much into it. Either way he was being forced to a choice he had never wanted to make, and a small, bitter part of him damned them all, from Edy to Deimos to Ronin and Rory, for putting him in that position.
"But you make a good point. You didn't choose me. And I only accepted the offer so that I could put Ronin in the place we had all agreed on. Since that plan fell through, I'll tell Edy that I'm abdicating. I... doubt she'll listen to much that I have to say after that," he admitted sadly, knowing that he would be burning a bridge with that move, and his heart ached for the friend he was leaving high and dry. "But if there are any other names you think I should try to offer up instead, now's the time to let me know."
He felt frustration bubbling with the desperate fear in his gut, but he tamped it down, drawing on his experience as a performer to push through. "I was hoping we could come up with some plans once we had the position to start dismantling what Zariah had made, but I admit that I made mistakes. Still, you paint me as damned either way. If I had thrown my name in back then, and you had still had the most votes, I would be in no less trouble now. Probably more. We chose you to be our leader. I voted for you as well. And I thought you wanted to try and get control of the situation by as peaceful a means as possible. At the time, this afternoon and in the heat of the moment, this seemed like the best way to do it."
He looked around at the unhappy faces, some looking betrayed, or perhaps he was simply reading too much into it. Either way he was being forced to a choice he had never wanted to make, and a small, bitter part of him damned them all, from Edy to Deimos to Ronin and Rory, for putting him in that position.
"But you make a good point. You didn't choose me. And I only accepted the offer so that I could put Ronin in the place we had all agreed on. Since that plan fell through, I'll tell Edy that I'm abdicating. I... doubt she'll listen to much that I have to say after that," he admitted sadly, knowing that he would be burning a bridge with that move, and his heart ached for the friend he was leaving high and dry. "But if there are any other names you think I should try to offer up instead, now's the time to let me know."
