Uneasy lies the head

YOU SAID THERE'S SOMETHING ABOUT THE MOON IT ROSE TOO SOON AND WE'RE DOING WHAT WE SHOULD What a mess. Amalia watches as Jigano backs further and further into a metaphorical corner, slipping away from the slings and blame, his defenses and his hackles raised. She can feel anxiety biting at her throat, rising up in her stomach, her chest, frustration and fear and disappointment a raging fire in her soul. Everyone has something to say, and Amalia feels dwarfed, shut out by stronger personalities and louder words, by the armor they all shroud themselves in. She wants to retreat further into herself, to vanish back up to the safety of the bakery, where at least she feels in control, where at least she knows who she needs to be afraid of, and that it is not her friends. Jigano offers to abdicate again, to give the crown over to Ronin now, and Amalia shakes her head. She doubts Edrei would accept such a thing - for all that the bard insists they are equal, it hardly seems so from where she stands. (And that fear is confirmed when a cry rings out above and the blacksmith appears, his black eyes wild, his expression happy and disbelieving, the words they have already heard through the walls repeated on his lips. "Wessex- she's gonna be on of 'em royals!") From Jigano's expression and follow-up statement, the bard did not know this was coming, which confirms further to Amalia that no, they are not equals, and yet he still thinks he can manipulate the firemage, make her accept Ronin now simply because he says so. She wants to shake him, to slap him, to cry - you were supposed to be better, you were supposed to be smarter. You were supposed to be wise. How does he not see what they all see, the things that are obvious to everyone else? Kiada is a voice of reason again, and Amalia balls her fists beneath the table, wishing they could get anything through Jigano's head. "If you abdicate right now," the baker grinds out, "Edrei and Wessex will run this place into the ground." She hates to speak ill of the absentee Ascended, their shared history remains a bond between them, and Amalia will always have a spot in her heart for the stern older woman, no matter their differences. But leading? Wessex may be strong, but she is fragile, too. Amalia knows what feeling alone in the world can do to a person. Edrei and Wessex together would be like a flinthopper in a barrel of black powder. "Edrei chose you. Then she chose Wessex without consulting you. Like it or not, she's still in charge. And you can't trust either of them to just accept Ronin in your place." As much as she is beginning to think Jigano would be a terrible ruler, as much as she would like to spare her friend the inevitable hardship, the bard has, as Rory so aptly put it, pissed in his own boots. a m a l i a You said it's life that moves too much We're losing touch But I'm not losing you