Somehow he had made it in time, his apology reaching the one it was intended for. Jigano caught his balance, panting and distressed as Sam hesitated in the doorway of the Spire. Would the bookmaker believe him? Could he? Poison had spat from the bard's tongue, his words as evenomed as a spider's fangs, and no matter that the cause of it had been illness and weakness and a hatred not his own they had still struck deep.
Sam turned to face him, blue eyes wounded and uncertain, and Jigano winced, flinching away from the pain in them. Pain he had caused, as he had visited upon Rory and Amalia and Kiada. They had done nothing to deserve it, but still he had sniped and snarled like a rabid beast, lashing out to wound the ones he loved the most.
Sam was not the least among that number, and Jigano's heart broke at seeing the distrust in his friend's eyes and in his voice.
"I... I don't know," he admitted, the truth a ragged, painful blade between them. That Samuel focused on Nate was a telling clue, but the bard was far too worried about what he had said to follow up on it. "I don't even know him. I just..." He trailed off, swallowing hard as he stepped back and his heel hit the edge of the stair. He sat down with a thump, covering his eyes with his hand, fingers and thumb digging into his temples on either side as if to squeeze the darkness from his skull. "It's the worst with the people I care about the most." His voice was soft, almost a whisper as the confession was pulled from a reluctant tongue, word by painful word. "The rage seeps in and... all that matters is lashing out, making those close to me hurt as much as I do. The more I love them, the more pain I want to cause them. Rory, Amalia... you. I thought I had it under better control but... it's getting worse."
He dropped his hand, looking back up at Sam with quiet fear and open exhaustion in his darkened blue eyes. "I'm sorry, Sam. I shouldn't have called you out here. You... should probably head home first." Just in case.
Sam turned to face him, blue eyes wounded and uncertain, and Jigano winced, flinching away from the pain in them. Pain he had caused, as he had visited upon Rory and Amalia and Kiada. They had done nothing to deserve it, but still he had sniped and snarled like a rabid beast, lashing out to wound the ones he loved the most.
Sam was not the least among that number, and Jigano's heart broke at seeing the distrust in his friend's eyes and in his voice.
"I... I don't know," he admitted, the truth a ragged, painful blade between them. That Samuel focused on Nate was a telling clue, but the bard was far too worried about what he had said to follow up on it. "I don't even know him. I just..." He trailed off, swallowing hard as he stepped back and his heel hit the edge of the stair. He sat down with a thump, covering his eyes with his hand, fingers and thumb digging into his temples on either side as if to squeeze the darkness from his skull. "It's the worst with the people I care about the most." His voice was soft, almost a whisper as the confession was pulled from a reluctant tongue, word by painful word. "The rage seeps in and... all that matters is lashing out, making those close to me hurt as much as I do. The more I love them, the more pain I want to cause them. Rory, Amalia... you. I thought I had it under better control but... it's getting worse."
He dropped his hand, looking back up at Sam with quiet fear and open exhaustion in his darkened blue eyes. "I'm sorry, Sam. I shouldn't have called you out here. You... should probably head home first." Just in case.
