Dead men walking

Ronin’s statement was true enough, and Loren nodded. ”Maybe. Some more than most, and me more than some.” It was true that coming here was hardly the action of a wise man. However, the Launceleyn had always been more stubborn than smart, and this was no exception: he was sitting here, in the home of a man that Loren had abandoned, and expecting that, somehow, eventually, the king would come around to the Launceleyn being back. That through sheer persistence he could wear down the other man’s understandable misgivings and get back to something near what they’d once been. That seemed less likely, now, than before. Which made it easier in some respects, since they could make something new rather than try to recapture what they had. Or at least, Loren would. It was obviously entirely up to Ronin what role the Launceleyn would play in the other man’s life, and if the king wanted nothing to do with the librarian, Loren would respect that. Then, however, Ronin basically told Loren that the king had given up any hope of surviving the blight, and the Launceleyn frowned at the other man. ”None of that now. You’ve survived worse than this and even come back from exploding, so a little illness is not going to kill you.” Maybe it wasn’t the wisest comment to make under the circumstances, but the alcohol had loosened the summoner’s tongue. ”And you absolutely do not need me to tell you this, or want to hear this from me of all people, but sometimes believing we can make it makes all the difference. But even if you can’t have that faith for yourself, have that faith for...him. For Remi.” Loren had almost said ‘for me,’ but had caught himself at the last moment. That definitely wasn’t his place. As soon as the other man asked for the Launceleyn to go, he downed his glass, stood, and grabbed the bottle. ”You’re welcome, and I would not mind at all.” Honestly, he was surprised that their reunion had lasted as long as it had, given the illness and other circumstances. Placing the bottle and glass on a table, Loren turned to go. However, he paused in the doorway, and glanced back at the other man. ”I know I left before, when you needed me most. I know that it was unforgivable, and I do not expect that from you. But I am back, now, for good. And so I hope that, whatever you justifiably feel about me, you will let me help you with whatever problems you and others may be facing. Think of me as a tool to be used when needed and set aside when not.” As a king, Ronin might need that more than the friend Loren could no longer be. With that, he was finally gone, heart sinking and tears streaming down his cheeks. But at least he’d kept himself under control in Ronin’s presence. Loren’s grief was his own burden to bear. He'd already given the king enough trouble as it was. LOREN Not quite an open book