we can't make any promises now

As Remi mumbled an apology, Loren flinched. This was all going perfectly wrong, and there didn’t seem to be anything he could do to fix it. Granted, it was always going to be impossible to make this right. But somehow the Launceleyn had made this more wrong, which he hadn’t believed possible; the librarian’s very presence was making Remi upset, distressed, and that was absolutely the last thing Loren wanted. Of course it was inevitable, since telling his former lover Loren was back was going to piss off the alchemist, upset him more than Loren could fathom. But they hadn’t even gotten to that part yet and it had all fallen apart. It was just going to go downhill from here. Maybe the Launceleyns really were cursed to always bring misery in their wake. After all, none of them had ever proven capable of anything but destruction. When Remi agreed that Loren was right, his breath caught in his throat. He wanted to shout that this was wrong, all wrong, that none of this was right, but everything felt so fragile in that moment that he was afraid that if he said or did anything, moved or even breathed it would all come crashing down. Then the moment passed and he was moving, and then stopping in a confusing mishmash of limbs, stuck at the threshold to Remi’s life. Hearing that the keys had been given to Zariah simply stoked the panic Loren was feeling. She was hardly the careful sort, definitely not a forward thinker. No she was the kind of person to be so sure of her superiority that she probably hadn’t bothered to even hide away such a dangerous item. It wouldn’t surprise him in the slightest to find that she’d left them for anyone to find, so long as they went looking for them. Then the alchemist was before the Launceleyn. And the librarian knew he was out of time and at the end of his rope. Still, he couldn’t bear the sight of Remi standing right there, couldn’t bear knowing the summoner could reach out and touch the other man. So he closed his eyes, pretending for just a few moments more that he was anywhere else but here. Apparently they were both struggling with their vision at the moment, since Loren's had grown blurry from tears just before he squeezed them shut. However, there was nothing wrong with Remi’s eyes, or at least that wasn’t the root of this problem. No, something else was going on here, something beyond Loren’s understanding. That didn’t change what the Launceleyn had to do. “It’s me, Remi. It’s Loren.” Turned out, saying the words hadn’t been the hard part after all. No, that was still yet to come. LOREN Not quite an open book