we can't make any promises now

"I...am not hurt now?" The alchemist offered, ruffling a hand through his curls and succeeding in disbanding at least some of them. It was a nervous habit of his, though not one Remi had ever made much of a conscious effort to deal with. His heart had always been on his sleeve, why not feathers in his hair as well? "I...know some of what happened." He added after a moment, his accent tilting the words as he spoke them. Suddenly quite unsure what he was meant to do with his hands or his feet, the alchemist conjured a feather in his fingers and began to twirl the stem of it back and forth to steady his thoughts. With all the physical changes that marked Remi as somehow different from before—the newfound strength and dexterity, the multitude of scars thankfully covered by his shirt, his shattered sight—still Remi was unsettled in the face of this sort of conflict. "It is hard to...feel much about it, when I feel nothing at all. Early on Frey took all my feelings for you—" Even saying this now felt strange, the familiarity that should have accompanied Remi's voice and his expression was lacking, much as he tried to be kind while saying it. "—but I did remember what it was like. But then with Ludo..." Another shrug, another boyish ruffle of curls. "..I suppose...I am not the person you hurt anymore. If you owe an apology to anyone for the past, it is not to me." Just as the man Ianto had loved could not be found, so too was the man who had loved Loren similarly gone. "I did not mean it like that." Remi said quickly, the feather ceasing in his hand for a moment as his fingers twitched as if to offer some physical reassurance with his words. REMI Loving you was sunshine, but then it poured & I lost so much more than my senses 'Cause loving you had consequences