”No need to apologize.” It had been a simple miscommunication, nothing more. Then, however, Loren frowned as the import of Jigano’s words sank in. ”Wait, we don’t know if we know all the cases of blight?” Although the summoner knew the wording of that was incredibly vague, he hoped the bard would understand. It seemed that it should’ve been one of the first things they did. However, the Launceleyn agreed with the white-haired man’s assessment that posting something might have been a bad idea. ”I really don’t know. We should probably ask those in charge what they think is best.” The summoner, for one, was glad to have a decision taken off his long list.
They needed to test blood as a means of transmission—although how that would work when other fluids wouldn’t Loren didn’t know, but again, he was not a full healer—and obviously that would be best to do with animals. ”Well, we can just summon them.” Then Loren remembered that, strange as it might seem, no one in the Hollowed Grounds knew much about summoning, or at least seemed used to factoring them into their plans. ”Sorry. I meant I can summon non magical animals too. They won’t last forever, but hopefully long enough to see what happens when we expose them to the blight. They’re not real, so they don’t feel pain, but they’re identical to real animals.” If that didn’t work, well, then they could discuss using real animals, though the Launceleyn was loathe to pursue that route. He liked animals, at least more than he liked most people.
That sounded horrible, what Jigano was describing. But it also sounded really familiar. Loren frowned, and looked away, wondering whether he should say anything. However, he felt important that he had to say something in that moment.. ”I know this isn’t the same, and I can’t imagine how difficult that much be for you. But...there’s a darkness in me, too, one my family put there then did its best to fan the flames of. And every time I succumb to it, it grows. So I have to work on forgiveness as well. And every time I worry about my actions, I force myself to stop, and think about the worst of my relative's atrocities, and what they would do. Then I do the opposite of that.” It wasn’t the same at all, and Loren knew he shoudln’t have said anything at all. However, he was still coming to grips with who and what he was after being so unexpected free of all his tethers and bindings.
Maybe he wasn’t all that free after all, given Zariah could come back at any moment. ”Well, if you’d feel more comfortable with an official pardon, I’m sure that could be arranged.” Although Loren didn’t know exactly what ‘being called to the Manor’ by Edy meant, he really didn’t think he wanted to. It was probably sexual in nature, and the image of Jigano and Loren’s cousin doing the nasty required Loren to think nice thoughts for a while. ”If or when she comes back seeking power or revenge, she’ll have to go through me first. I won’t let her hurt anyone else while I still have breath in my body.” Of course, it was Zariah, so she probably could go through the summoner like a hot knife through butter. But even buying a few moments might make a difference. When it came to the distrust she’d created, however, there were no easy solutions. ”All I can do about the repercussions of her actions is to help the new leaders make sure this place is running smoothly and try to change the associations people have with my name. And I’m working on it in every way I can think of.” That would take time, time he wasn’t sure he’d have. But he had some ideas about it already. He just hoped they weren’t bad ones.
Loren waved away the bard’s thanks as nothing. ”You’re welcome. And it really is the least I could do.” The problem was, the summoner still didn’t know what the most was. Slowly, though, he was getting the information he needed to answer that crucial question.
They needed to test blood as a means of transmission—although how that would work when other fluids wouldn’t Loren didn’t know, but again, he was not a full healer—and obviously that would be best to do with animals. ”Well, we can just summon them.” Then Loren remembered that, strange as it might seem, no one in the Hollowed Grounds knew much about summoning, or at least seemed used to factoring them into their plans. ”Sorry. I meant I can summon non magical animals too. They won’t last forever, but hopefully long enough to see what happens when we expose them to the blight. They’re not real, so they don’t feel pain, but they’re identical to real animals.” If that didn’t work, well, then they could discuss using real animals, though the Launceleyn was loathe to pursue that route. He liked animals, at least more than he liked most people.
That sounded horrible, what Jigano was describing. But it also sounded really familiar. Loren frowned, and looked away, wondering whether he should say anything. However, he felt important that he had to say something in that moment.. ”I know this isn’t the same, and I can’t imagine how difficult that much be for you. But...there’s a darkness in me, too, one my family put there then did its best to fan the flames of. And every time I succumb to it, it grows. So I have to work on forgiveness as well. And every time I worry about my actions, I force myself to stop, and think about the worst of my relative's atrocities, and what they would do. Then I do the opposite of that.” It wasn’t the same at all, and Loren knew he shoudln’t have said anything at all. However, he was still coming to grips with who and what he was after being so unexpected free of all his tethers and bindings.
Maybe he wasn’t all that free after all, given Zariah could come back at any moment. ”Well, if you’d feel more comfortable with an official pardon, I’m sure that could be arranged.” Although Loren didn’t know exactly what ‘being called to the Manor’ by Edy meant, he really didn’t think he wanted to. It was probably sexual in nature, and the image of Jigano and Loren’s cousin doing the nasty required Loren to think nice thoughts for a while. ”If or when she comes back seeking power or revenge, she’ll have to go through me first. I won’t let her hurt anyone else while I still have breath in my body.” Of course, it was Zariah, so she probably could go through the summoner like a hot knife through butter. But even buying a few moments might make a difference. When it came to the distrust she’d created, however, there were no easy solutions. ”All I can do about the repercussions of her actions is to help the new leaders make sure this place is running smoothly and try to change the associations people have with my name. And I’m working on it in every way I can think of.” That would take time, time he wasn’t sure he’d have. But he had some ideas about it already. He just hoped they weren’t bad ones.
Loren waved away the bard’s thanks as nothing. ”You’re welcome. And it really is the least I could do.” The problem was, the summoner still didn’t know what the most was. Slowly, though, he was getting the information he needed to answer that crucial question.
