Court of the Fallen was created in October of 2018 by Odd, Honey, and Crooked.
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Loren waved off Phoebe’s thanks. It seemed that he was the one who should be thanking her for not throwing him out of her infirmary—or blight raging too hard at him—considering how much of a buffoon he’d been earlier, and considering what he’d done to her best friend. ”Happy to help.” At her invitation, he sank gratefully into one of the many comfy chairs. Then, however, they swung back to the earlier, more confrontational conversation topics. Not particularly wanting to get her riled up again, he wisely kept his mouth shut. Besides, her mights and might nots weren’t doing much to convince him. ”Well, why change a losing strategy?” He grinned at her, though it softened into a smile. ”Third time’s the charm? I’m sorry.” There, that ought to do it.
”Well, could have fooled me. To be honest, I think the whole speaking your mind and standing up for yourself is a good look for you. You can stand your ground without being confrontational, you know.” Perhaps the summoner wasn’t the best person to be giving that lesson (given, you know, who he was and his penchant for interpersonal conflict) but he knew it to be true, even if he didn’t practice it. However, when she began speaking about Remi, the Launcleyen’s easy smile faltered, to be replaced by the haunted look that usually accompanied him everywhere. ”I can’t...I can’t replace what he’s lost.” It was hard to say it out loud, even if he’d admitted it to himself long ago. ”But I’m going to try and get his memories back, at least. Somehow.” Even if he had to sacrifice his own in exchange. ”Don’t tell him, though. He’ll just try to stop me, and say it doesn’t bother him, but...it does. More than he is willing to admit, because he doesn’t ever accept help, just gives it, let alone let people return the goodness and kindness he puts out into the world.” Loren was probably saying way too much, but there were very few people he could speak to about any of this. Besides, he knew the healer would just tell him he was being an idiot. It wouldn’t be the first time, that he’d been dumb or that she’d implied as much.
As she started putting on the kettle, he eyed it warily. Idly, he wondered if she was going to try and give him that sandwich she had threatened. ”Sometimes it seems nothing in life worth having is easy. But...I don’t know. It might make you happier to just do what you want, instead of what you think other people want you to do or want from you.” It was funny that he’d only learned that after most of the people who wanted things from him were dead or gone. Then again, loss had a funny way of clarifying everything.
Phoebe smiled a little as he finally apologized without any qualifier or exuse. "Apology accepted." she said quietly, happy to let that and the touchy subjects from earlier fade away. She was tired - exhausted really - from the emotional highs and lows of the day. But she did what she always did, making herself busy in the small kitchen in the back while Loren sat and recovered from using as much magic as he had.
Her cheeks flushed ever so slightly as he made note that standing up for herself was a good look on her. "Thank you. It's just not...my immediate reaction to most things. I usually try to keep the peace." she admitted with a little shrug. But she fell silent as he took in her words about Remi and then aired his own thoughts on it. Her body seemed to move of its own accord, her mind focused on what he was saying, and her handa preparing exactly what Loren didn't want - a sandwich. "Please don't try to get his memories back. The last thing he needs is his mind tampered with again." she said softly, brows furrowed slightly. "Just be his friend. Make new memories. He just wants to know the person that he had once held dear. I think that would mean more to him than giving him back memories and emotions of people he thought of romantically when he is now invested in someone else." she explained.
The blonde walked over and set the plate with the sandwich in front of him. "Eat it." she said firmly, but not unkindly. Then she sat on the couch, eyes closing as she sighed and tilted her face up toward the ceiling. "I like making other people happy. I like taking care of people." she said quietly, opening her eyes to stare at wooden ceiling.
Phoebe’s inclination to want to keep the peace was an admirable quality. Unfortunately, Loren knew it wasn’t always that simple. ”Sometimes there are more important things than keeping things peaceful and civil.” Saving lives. Doing what was right. Indeed, what she was doing about the Ascended could hardly be considered keeping the peace, and yet she seemed stalwart in her dedication to that cause.
Although she seemed to feel strongly that trying to restore Remi’s memories was the wrong course of action the Launceleyn thought she was wrong about that. He’d seen how much it pained the alchemist not to be able to trust his own mind; while she was worried about the pain Remi would go through in getting his memories restored, the summoner was worried about the pain the other man was currently feeling. While her worry was a hypothetical, Loren’s was tangible. Still, he knew better than to disagree with her about this. ”Alright. I’ll do that. Thanks for the advice.” Even if he was going to ignore it, she was just trying to do what she thought was best. In fact, that’s all she was trying to do with everything: while he might disagree with her reasoning and her methods, her heart was in the right place.
For now.
Turned out, their minds had been moving in similar directions. As she placed the sandwich in front of him he blinked. Then he grinned, and picked it up. ”Thanks. But I’m only taking this in exchange for all the labor I just did.” It seemed more than a fair trade in the Launceleyn’s book seeing as the golem had done most of the work. Chewing and swallowing, he gave her an approving look. ”This is good!” At her comment about wanting to help people and make them happy, he smiled a little sadly. ”Me too.” Unfortunately, he wasn’t particularly good at it.
”I suppose that’s true.” she said quietly. Lately it seemed like everything was about disrupting the peace. The blight. The racial tensions. The political turmoil. It was all one bit very not peaceful mess and it troubled her deeply – which didn’t help when she felt like her own personal life was also spinning wildly out of control. She used to think she knew herself and her wants and her dreams, but now it all didn’t seem to matter very much. Very little mattered very much anymore.
She did manage a small smile when he said he would take her advice. She would wait and see if he would, because she rather doubted it given how stubborn in his opinions he seemed, but it didn’t matter much. She would be there for Remi if it all went badly, no matter what.
But his comment about the sandwich made her look at him curiously, laughing a little bit. ”You should taking it because you’re wasting away. If you cough too hard you might break a rib in your state.” she said, shaking her head. A small smile curved her lips as he praised her sandwich making skills. ”Good. I’m glad you like it.” she said, closing her eyes again. Exhaustion was just as common a feeling as her bursts of rage lately. ”A duke that wants to help and make others happy? Well now that is a rarity.” she said with a drawl, joking with him lightly.
”Wasted away is more accurate. I’m putting on weight though, promise.” That was only partially true: spending a year without regular access to food had left Loren a shadow of his former self, and he knew he was far too thin. Still, he was so busy that he still found himself missing meals every now and again. Expressing that to Phoebe would probably just get her to fuss even more, so he just took another bite of the sandwich, which really was quite good. Besides, he could probably heal a broken rib. Well. Maybe. He wasn’t sure how powerful his healing really was, having not had many opportunities to test it. Yet.
Grinning at her joke Loren wondered exactly what her relationship to nobility actually had been. ”What can I say? I’m weird and full of surprises. Stick around to find out what I’ll do next.” He’d joked about starting up a menagerie, but maybe he should sell tickets to see him instead. People never seemed to know what to make of him or what he’d do next, after all, including himself.
”Unless you are going to suddenly magic yourself to a healthy weight, the semantics don’t completely matter. You need a sandwich. Or twelve.” she said with a small smirk, standing when she heard the kettle start to sing. Quietly she took it off, pouring herself a bit of calming tea. As exhausted as she was, her mind still whirred with questions unanswered, and she needed something to take a bit of the edge off. Hopefully it would keep more unanticipated and unwanted blight rage at bay. ”Would you like some tea?” she offered, glancing over at him.
At his antics she just smiled and shook her head a bit, holding her teacup in both hands, letting the warmth course through her. ”As fun as it sounds to watch a duke get his trousers in a bunch when things don’t go his way, I think I’ll pass.” she teased quietly, breathing in the pleasantly spicy aroma of her tea.
Phoebe’s persistence wasn’t surprising, given how stubborn she’d proven earlier. Luckilyy for her, Loren wasn’t going to fight her on this one, so he simply took another bite. Still, he couldn’t resist a small quip. Once his mouth was clear the corners of his lips quirked up. ”I think if I ate twelve sandwiches it would have the opposite effect of what you’d want.” At the mention of tea, he perked up. ”That sounds lovely, thank you. Can I help you with the kettle?” While he felt a little guilty for imposing on her, this was rather pleasant.
He extended one leg, gesturing at it with the hand that was not currently holding a sandwich. ”But they’re such nice trousers, who wouldn’t want to gaze upon them?” Although he’d put on his more regal and ducal tone, it was obviously a joke and amusement crinkled the corner of his eyes: his clothes were little better than rags, and even if they hadn’t been old and worn, they had started out a plain, rough, utilitarian brown that was about as far from fashionable as possible.
Phoebe raised a brow at him, a little smirk curving her lips. ”I never said you had to eat all twelve sandwiches right in a row.” she quipped at him as she pulled down another mug. ”It’s quite alright,
I can handle a kettle.” Phoebe said, pouring him a cup of the calming tea. If he watched, the tremble in her hands from the blight would be obvious as she did so. It frustrated her, but she said nothing, simply bringing him the cup and setting it on the table next to the chair he sat in.
”All the more reason not to get them in a bunch. Such a shame to wrinkle such trousers.” she quipped back, taking a sip of her tea. ”Though if I were you I would try to replace them before too long. You don’t want to be caught in Deepfrost with things so threadbare.” she added quietly.
”You never said I didn’t, and it seems like just the sort of foolish thing a former duke would do, doesn’t it?” Loren was perfectly happy to make fun of himself if it got Phoebe to smile; it seemed that she could definitely use some cheering up, what with having the blight and all. Though his sharp eyes caught her difficulty with the kettle, despite her assurance, he said nothing. Instead he just accepted his tea with a grateful nod. ”Thank you.” He knew a little bit about not wanting to accept help from others, stubborn as he was, and it didn’t surprise him the healer was the same.
Lowering his leg, he mirrored her action and took a sip of tea. ”Careful. You’ve fed me, now you’re trying to clothe me. What’s next, offering me a place to stay?” He smiled at her to let her know he appreciated her concern, even if he thought it was misplaced. Although he would’ve offered to let her stay at the Manor for LongNight, he didn’t for two reasons. One, because he thought she’d reject anything that might have Wessex’s hands on it. Two, more importantly (and sadly), Phoebe had the blight. And if it kept getting worse, Loren didn’t know what they’d do.
”If you are that foolish, that seems like a you sort of problem.” she said with a slight smirk. It surprised her how quickly the conversation had devolved from things of a serious nature to something more friendly. Perhaps it was her exhaustion that made it difficult for her to keep up her anger or concern. Maybe it was the reassurance that Remi had been apparently spending time with him. She wasn’t certain. But it was far more pleasant so she didn’t find need to disrupt it as she held her cup in trembling fingers.
She did laugh a bit at his comment, shrugging a bit as she sat on the couch once more and gazed into the fireplace. ”I actually have done just that for quite a few Outlanders since arriving here. I have extra beds that don’t get used often.” she said gesturing to the three private clinic rooms at the back. ”So it wouldn’t be out of the ordinary. But I am well aware that you have a very large manor at your disposal.”
The banter felt good, strange as it was to admit. Loren had mostly been doing a lot of apologizing—something he wasn’t particularly good at, as Phoebe knew well—and when he wasn’t apologizing he’d been failing to explain himself or trying to get caught up. Regular conversations had been relatively scarce (not that he knew enough about friendship to know if this was a regular conversation or not. Probably not). ”Ah yes, but as a true noble I can hardly be expected to be worry about such trivialities as overeating.” He waved a wave in a vaguely foppish manner, before grinning and taking another bite of the sandwich and another sip of tea. ”Besides, you say foolish, I say determined to get better faster!”
As the conversation swung around to the Launceleyn Manor the summoner’s easy manner faltered. ”Very large. And very empty these days.” Between Edy’s death, Zariah’s disappearance, Beatrix and Jace avoiding him, and Peter spending most of his days at his mysterious’ boyfriend’s place, Loren often felt as if he was the only one home. He supposed it was the god’s latest trick: just when he decided to come back they made sure everyone was gone, leaving him alone again. Well, he probably deserved it, given that he'd been the one to leave in the first place.
09-12-2019, 12:23 PM (This post was last modified: 09-12-2019, 12:23 PM by Phoebe.)
PHOEBE
Phoebe couldn't help her laugh at his comeback. She had been mid-sip of tea, and as soon as his words registered, her cheeks puffed up and eyes squeezed closed as she tried not to spit her tea out from laughter. After a few moments she managed to swallow the tea and gasped for air before giggling, coughing a bit here and there. "Trivialities of overeating, yes, true, I forgot you ought be a fat and happy noble, not just happy." she said with a laugh, shaking her head slightly. "Let me know how that works out for you."
His description of the manor gave her pause, but she nodded slightly. "I never liked large, noble households for that reason. No one needs that much space." she said with a light shrug. But she had grown up in a very different set up. "But I grew up in a two room house with my parents and three older siblings."
Loren had to chuckle as he watched Phoebe struggle not to do a spit-take. It was probably not the nicest response, but it was really, truly comical. However, he smiled kindly at her to let her know that he was laughing with her, not at her. ”Sorry. You alright?” As she spoke about him being fat and happy, he grinned; he had never been either, but it was nice to imagine. ”Sounds splendid. Though I notice you failed to include the crowd of adoring sycophants.” That had always been Neron’s thing more than Loren’s, but the summoner had seen the type.
”Well, I come from a big family, so we did need a lot of room. But yes, I agree. It’s...too much.” As always, speaking of his family was treacherous, both because of his fragile emotional state and his unwillingness to reveal too much about himself. ”I’m hoping to fill it, though, so that others might find some shelter that I clearly do not need.” Indeed, he didn’t even sleep in one of the bedrooms. Instead, he’d installed a cot in the kitchen, so that he could be easily found and could get up early to prepare food for everyone.
Not that anyone ever showed up to eat any of it.
As she talked about her upbringing, his eyes grew sad, and he took a sip of tea to hopefully hide the expression from her. ”What was that like?” It was so far from his experiences growing up that he literally couldn’t picture it. Again, though he was cautious not to reveal too much about himself—and his voice came out carefully—he figured he should at least tell her a little bit about himself. ”I grew up on the family compound, at least for most of my childhood.” Most of his teenage years, and his young adulthood, had been spent in Northaven as a farmer, which he’d already told her.
Phoebe nodded her head as she pressed her hand to her chest, quieting the last few little coughs to clear her throat of the accidentally inhaled tea. Though another few giggles overcame her at his following comment as she grinned. ”Oh that wasn’t implied? My apologies.” she said, in a suddenly perfectly measured and toned voice one would expect of someone who actually grew up with a noble background.
She listened to him quietly as he described the Manor and his plans for it. It was surprisingly charitable, though she had already pointed out a number of faults for which he needed to redeem himself. Not to mention all the hurt his relatives had caused in his absence. ”That sounds like an actually noble thing to do. People are still appearing here fairly regularly and need a place to stay.” she said with a small smile. ”I’ve housed quite a few myself while they get on their feet, but the Manor would provide some privacy.” She might have beds but the clinic was still small, so save for her bedroom upstairs, privacy was hard to come by.
As his expression soured she wondered after it. Certainly it couldn’t be because of how she grew up. But it seemed it was. She shrugged a little as she considered it. ”Fine enough. We actually had more space than some because by father and mother both worked in the quarry. And we were all very close. By the time I was ten or eleven I wasn’t there much anyways.” she said softly. ”The Launceleyn Family compound, I had heard of that. It was basically its own city with big walls, wasn’t it?” she asked.
