i wanted to be ruined —
a little more than i wanted
— to be loved
She knows it will hurt, and that dark tarred blighted part of her wants it to, wants it to hurt as much as it hurts her. Wants to inflict the pain she so desperately feels upon seeing her Aunt again. But she does nothing, swallowing down those shadowed, terrible thoughts, as Hotaru’s hand finds the nape of her neck and pulls her in to kiss her brow – a brow that smells like earth, with a sticky amount of sweat to it.
But Hotaru pulls away, and Kiada’s icy gaze, as distraught as it is, scans her face. She hears the words, but she doesn’t know if it hurts more knowing someone else had seen the love between them. She lets Hotaru wipe away her tears as she inhales a shaggy breath, a breath that she doesn’t know how to hold onto as it releases in a quick puff of a sigh through her nose as she leans into Hotaru’s touch. “We lost him twice.” She whispers, as though once wasn’t enough – as if twice seemed to be the charm.
Yet, she focuses in on Hotaru’s bi-toned eyes, despite how much it hurts, to listen when she speaks. And she lets Hotaru touch the ring on her finger, holding it gently while the words sink in and she tucks them in with the memories of the freckled boy who couldn’t speak well. She chews on her lower lip, gnawing it raw as she absorbs her words like a towel mopping up a spill of water. Slowly at first, then all at once. “I loved him so much, too.” She says, a silent vow that hurts to be uttered, but she finds it easier to let people know her feelings now.
After all, she had told Deimos she loved him, before he smashed the feeling in between his rough calloused hands. She didn’t regret it, though. Didn’t regret any of it.
Hotaru rocks them gently on the couch, and Kiada melts to her touch, as close as she can get. “Why wasn’t it me?” She asks, a similarly broken whisper. She could live, she had been living, but why why why when it could have been him?
But Hotaru pulls away, and Kiada’s icy gaze, as distraught as it is, scans her face. She hears the words, but she doesn’t know if it hurts more knowing someone else had seen the love between them. She lets Hotaru wipe away her tears as she inhales a shaggy breath, a breath that she doesn’t know how to hold onto as it releases in a quick puff of a sigh through her nose as she leans into Hotaru’s touch. “We lost him twice.” She whispers, as though once wasn’t enough – as if twice seemed to be the charm.
Yet, she focuses in on Hotaru’s bi-toned eyes, despite how much it hurts, to listen when she speaks. And she lets Hotaru touch the ring on her finger, holding it gently while the words sink in and she tucks them in with the memories of the freckled boy who couldn’t speak well. She chews on her lower lip, gnawing it raw as she absorbs her words like a towel mopping up a spill of water. Slowly at first, then all at once. “I loved him so much, too.” She says, a silent vow that hurts to be uttered, but she finds it easier to let people know her feelings now.
After all, she had told Deimos she loved him, before he smashed the feeling in between his rough calloused hands. She didn’t regret it, though. Didn’t regret any of it.
Hotaru rocks them gently on the couch, and Kiada melts to her touch, as close as she can get. “Why wasn’t it me?” She asks, a similarly broken whisper. She could live, she had been living, but why why why when it could have been him?
KIADA
No permission needed for power play!
Feel free to use magic/force on Kiada, without killing her <3
