the monsters turned out to be just trees

The white sheep of the family

Loren, obviously, was not privy to the private conversation between Remi and the Fae. All the Launceleyn was focused on was not compounding the problems he’d created here; he knew that tensions were already high between the Fae and those of the Hollowed Grounds, and the last thing he wanted was to make more problems for those he was trying to help. While he was still fully convinced that the Fae were in the wrong here, he was in their lands, and would submit to their judgment. So he walked without saying anything further and without needing to be dragged. At least if he made himself into a model prisoner, maybe the Fae would go easy on him. Probably not, given his luck, but anything was worth a try.

However, as he approached the edge of the pit, he couldn’t help but feel a sense of trepidation. Seemed that his earlier premonition about plummeting to his death might be true after all. Still, if his death maintained the delicate balance and peace here, then he’d pay that price. However, when they tossed him into the pit, he found himself caught by some force or another, presumably magic, and lowered almost gently to the ground. Turning he would attempt to give the alchemist a reassuring smile and mouth ‘It’s okay.’ This was the summoner’s fault, not the other man’s, and the Launceleyn had certainly stayed in worse conditions that the honestly kind of pleasant pit.

Still, he couldn’t help but harbor a secret hope that someone would get him out of here before too long.

Will blood tell

Coding base by Sky!

hope keeps us breathing, just to kill us in the end

The fae left leaving only alchemist and luxere standing at the top of the hole in the earth, peering down at the summoner below. Biting the inside of his cheek, Remi lay down on his belly to better peer down at the Launceleyn. He was quite hard to see given Remi's vision; really only the blue of his eyes came through with any clarity.

"Are you alright?" He called down, his accent sounding all the thicker as he did his best to project his voice. Recalling both that Loren had been cold earlier and that he couldn't as Remi thought, conjure himself new clothes, the alchemist added: "Would you like a new set of clothes?"

The white sheep of the family

Loren nodded his head at Remi’s first question. ”I’m fine. I've had far more uncomfortable accommodations than this” Then the summoner sighed and shook his head at the other man’s second question. ”They're already drying. Besides, I think it’s best for you to leave me to my well-deserved punishment. Maybe I’ll finally get caught up on my sleep.” The joke was feeble, but at least he was trying. His clothing was wet and cold, yes, but it was warmer and drier down here in the pit and the caves, and he could see blankets on the beds—plus he wasn’t in any real danger of dying from exposure, unless he couldn’t heal himself for some reason—so the summoner wasn’t too worried about staying down here.

No, he was worried about getting out, and about those he left behind. ”I don’t want you to get in any more trouble on my behalf. Please go, Remi.” He kept his voice gentle and soothing. ”Astra, I need you to stay with Remi, okay? He’s going to take care of you for a little bit. It’ll be fun, a nice change of scenery, I promise!” The luxere bleated sadly, not knowing what was going on, but recognizing enough to be upset at the situation. Loren could only hope the alchemist had a way with animals, considering he turned into them. Then, to prevent the other man from even thinking about doing anything stupid, the Launceleyn turned and walked into one of the side-caves, vanishing from view.

Will blood tell

Coding base by Sky!

hope keeps us breathing, just to kill us in the end

Remi nodded. He too had had less comfortable accommodations in his life, so whereas others might have argued, even without knowing about Loren's history, the alchemist merely accepted the summoner at his word. The refusal of clothing though struck Remi as some strange form of self-inflicted punishment. Surely Loren would reprimand the alchemist if he chose to remain injured rather than accepting easy magical help with it was offered. Frowning deeply now, Remi merely sighed a note of discontent but nodded.

"They said I could stay, so long as I did not help you escape." Remi explained, then offered a sheepish smile as he clarified: "They are all attuned..sort of it, as I said before."

As Loren turned to address Astra, the alchemist looked at the luxere with a sad understanding. "I can send her down to you—" Remi began to offer. The amount of telekinesis needed for something as slight as Astra was well within his limits, but as he turned his gaze back to Loren, he was shocked to find the man receeding into a part of the pit he couldn't see.

"Loren?" He implored softly, thinking maybe something had simply caught the summoners eye. But when seconds passed and Loren didn't reappear, Remi sat up abruptly. "Loren?" He called out, his voice quivering with uncertainty and perhaps a tinge of frustration.

The white sheep of the family

At the urgency in Remi’s voice Loren sighed, and turned. Poking his head out from the tunnel he’d selected basically at random, the summoner peered up at the alchemist. The other man’s words had echoed down to him, giving him time to think. While the Launceleyn was pretty sure the other man would insist on sticking around, Loren could be stubborn too. Time to see which of them had the stronger will. ”Remi, I’m worried that anything you might do to help me, even if it’s not to escape, would fall under the category of helping the prisoner. And I don’t know how the Fae will feel about that. So while I appreciate the offer, both of clothing and to stay, I’m pretty sure it’s best if you go before I somehow make everything worse.” It seemed inevitable.

Regarding Astra, however, Loren hesitated. While he would’ve loved the company, he felt his heart sink at the thought of her trapped down here with him. ”Even if I’m used to cramped and uncomfortable spaces, she’s not. Please look after her for me?” The pleading tone in his voice was humiliating, but even if he was willing to endure whatever the Fae chose to do to him, he wasn’t willing to put Astra—or anyone or anything else—through it as well, just for his own comfort and well-being.

Will blood tell

Coding base by Sky!

hope keeps us breathing, just to kill us in the end

Only a few that Remi knew of treated him like he wasn't just some bumbling idiot. Though Loren wouldn't be able to see, the alchemist let his fingers flex into the cold earth below as he pulled in a large breath to try and soothe his stressed mind. I have known the fae far longer than you, he might have reminded Loren. I am allowed here, and Offering you clothing hardly constitutes an escape. Though what he couldn't decide in that moment, was whether or not Loren really thought the alchemist so untrustworthy, or whether the Launceleyn was somehow pleased about his state of affairs. Something about the way Loren preferred to be slightly cold and damp than accept help, how he walked away before the conversation was finished, how he'd not even apologized for making a mess of things but simply accepted his punishment. How cavalierly he'd instructed what to say to Jace and Beatrix, but not anyone else.

"Alright." The alchemist whispered, glancing to Astra and smiling sadly. "Hopefully the walk home will be shorter. Something tells me the fae will make it so."

Rising, the alchemist paused, his unyielding generosity winning out over his frustration and despair, Remi created a new set of clothes for the summoner below. They'd likely be a bit too warm, but they were warm knitted garments meant to be more cozy than the travelling clothes Loren was currently in. Unable to see the blanket one of those appeared as well, all of which neatly floated down into the pit to rest at the summoner's feet. If Loren bothered to pick them up, he'd notice that even in this quick feat of magic, Remi's mind had taken the time to add phoenix and luxere details in various places on the fabric.

"They will let you out soon. I have never seen prisoners remain for more than a week, and none have been harmed yet." The alchemist called down, before turning defeatedly to go.

The white sheep of the family

When Remi mentioned the walk home Loren tried to muster up a smile. ”Hope so.” Not having to stop every few minutes to talk would probably help with that, even if the Fae didn’t. At the explanation that the Fae were kind to their prisoners and that he’d be released relatively soon he nodded. ”Okay. That’s good to know.” At least there would be a finite period to his disappearance this time. As the clothes and the blanket appeared—far too beautiful and luxurious—Loren sighed and left them where they were.

However, when the alchemist turned away in such a dejected manner, the summoner felt the guilt already gnawing at his gut grow exponentially. He ran through the events since his foolish attempt to get through to the Fae. And he remembered that Remi was mostly blind and might not be able to see into the pit or Loren's facial expressions. And the Launceleyn thought about what the other man said about Loren making assumptions about what others felt and how he came across as cold and uncaring when he tried to do the right thing. And the summoner thought through the conversation the two of them had just had, and how it might have come across to the alchemist.

Damn it. Loren had done it again. He’d gotten so wrapped up in himself, and his plight, and not wanting to burden others that he’d just made everything worse all on his own. And he’d forged ahead without actually making any amends for what he’d done. Hoping that it wasn’t too late, he called out to the departing figure of the other man. ”Remi, wait. You can stay, if you want. I just...assumed you wouldn’t want to, and that it would be a waste of your time.” But it was Remi’s time to waste. Sighing, the summoner ran an anxious hand through his hair and gave the alchemist a sad smile; even if Remi couldn’t see it, Loren could feel it. Though he also made sure his voice was properly contrite. ”I’m sorry for making a mess of everything, and for putting you through all this. And…” He hesitated, wondering if he was just making everything worse. ”I seriously doubt anyone will ask about me, or care. But if they do tell them I fucked up again.” It was all he seemed capable of doing: he’d been warned not to push too far with the Fae, and not to think he ever knew better than others, and he’d ignored it all. He hugged himself sadly, wondering if he'd ever be able to change the worst parts of himself.

Will blood tell

Coding base by Sky!

hope keeps us breathing, just to kill us in the end

Steeling himself for the walk home, he was surprised to hear Loren's voice ring brightly out and up from the pit. He thought certainly he was about to be scolded for creating the clothes for Loren, but just as the summoner saw nothing wrong in expending a little healing magic when the alchemist needed it, so too Remi found it hard to stand by and even think about his almost-friend shivering if he could do something so easy to prevent it.

"Loren." The alchemist began, meaning to stop the apology before it began, but what the summoner said next made the words halt immediately in his throat. Narrowing his eyes Remi could feel his wings wanting to edge from his shoulder blades to carry the alchemist down so that he might shake some sense into the summoner. "Don't." He said instead, his voice terse and softly wounded. "Do not say th at. That no one will ask or care." At his sides, Remi's fingers clenched and unclenched, finally conjuring a feather to keep themselves occupied. "It is because you were so cared for..so loved that.." Again Remi's voice failed him but he pressed on just the same. "It only hurts to be left by someone you love." He concluded, which was just to say that the somewhat hostile response to Loren's return to the Hollowed Grounds had not been because those in the summoner's life didn't care. But because they did.

"Everyone makes mistakes." Remi added lamely, brows knitting together as he gazed down into a pit comprised entirely of shadows and darkened smears, save for Loren's pale skin and clear blue eyes.

The white sheep of the family

The emotion in Remi’s voice took Loren by surprise. To prevent the alchemist from seeing that—and so the summoner could prevent himself from doing or saying anything else to make this worse—the Launceleyn bent down and scooped up the fabrics the other man had so generously provided. It was more than Loren deserved, as was the concern Remi was now displaying. ”I make more mistakes than most. And I did hurt you all, and I still don’t think there’s any way I can ever make up for that.” That was so totally obvious that the Launceleyn couldn’t believe he was saying it. Staring up at the other man with a haunted expression on the summoner’s face, he tried to smile to soften the blow that was about to come, though it failed to reach his eyes. At least he made sure his voice was gentle. ”Past tense, Remi.”

Cared. Loved. Not care, not love, not anything in the present and Loren had accepted that. It was the other man who was having so much trouble with the concept. All the summoner could do was try to minimize the hurt he was bound to cause moving forward. And he was failing epically at that so far.

Will blood tell

Coding base by Sky!

hope keeps us breathing, just to kill us in the end

"You say that, but you have not been around to see just how mistake-ridden we have all been." The alchemist replied, both wanting to console but also to remind the Launceleyn that he didn't just exist in a silo; he couldn't keep thinking himself the pinnacle of failure and using it as an excuse. "I have never heard anyone so ready to admit defeat at every obstacle." The alchemist added pointedly. There was still an adoring concern lacing his words, but a streak of tough love too. Loren would have a hard time winning against Remi in a battle of Caido-woes, especially since most of Loren's were self-inflicted.

"You do not know that." Remi countered with equal softness. "Have you bothered to ask?" Or, as with nearly everything else, had Loren just assumed he was beyond saving, beyond loving. If the Launceleyn needed evidence of just how wrong he was, it was standing atop a pit staring down at him with shattered green eyes. Still there, still willing and caring despite everything no matter how many times Loren constantly told him to leave.

The white sheep of the family

”Probably for the best, considering how mistake-ridden I personally am.” Loren couldn’t help but feel that he’d have made the problems much worse. Considering how he’d gotten imprisoned by the Fae on his first actual meeting with them, that wasn’t too hard to believe. Biting back his response that it was only because the alchemist didn’t remember the summoner he sighed instead. ”Remi. I’m in a pit because I pissed off the Fae. It hardly seems like I should be claiming any victories today.” That wasn’t the other man’s point, but the Launceleyn was tired of arguing.

No he hadn’t asked, which Remi knew full well. ”Even if they did care, I don’t feel that I deserve it.” Still, the alchemist was just going to keep pressing this point so the summoner ran an anxious hand through his hair, carefully juggling the clothes in his hand as he did so. He really didn’t want to have this conversation, but short of retreating into the cave, which would just upset the other man, the Launceleyn didn’t have many options. ”Fine. Who cares about me, then? And you don’t count. You care about everyone, even when they’re bad for you.” Just as the alchemist knew that the summoner hadn’t asked or thought about who might actually like him he knew that Remi would instinctively and immediately say that he cared for Loren.

Will blood tell

Coding base by Sky!

hope keeps us breathing, just to kill us in the end

The muscles in Remi's jaw feathered slightly as he held his tongue. The need to argue and convince the summoner was not a character trait he was used to, nor one that he liked. Especially since he wasn't entirely sure whether it was warranted or not. He was, after all, an 'other' to the man. A special kind of other perhaps, but an other just the same. "You did not piss them off Loren, you broke a direct rule. That is not making a mistake so much as just not listening." The alchemist countered, not wanting to continue this argument but finding himself constantly shocked at just how self-pitying Loren could constantly frame things.

Throwing his hands up Remi could only shake his head with a humble sort of bewilderment. The alchemist too ran his hands through his curls, only it was both of them and his fingers raked against his skin. "There is no pleasing you, is there?" Remi asked rhetorically, hurt and offense at the Launceleyn's words weighing heavily upon him. It was so nice to be told that he didn't count for much. Any list he could offer would simply be met with arguments and so he said nothing. One very obvious someone was standing at Remi's side, and distantly the alchemist wondered if the luxere was taking this argument as personally as he was.

The white sheep of the family

Well, Remi was right about Loren’s actions here today at least. ”You’re right.” It came out quietly, though still loud enough to carry. Granted, the summoner could’ve argued that not listening was his mistake, but that would just sort of prove the alchemist's point and besides, Loren was tired of fighting the other man.

However, when Remi’s hurt voice and posture filtered down to the Launceleyn he realized he’d made another mistake by not considering how his words would sound to the alchemist. ”Remi, I didn’t mean it like that. I’m sorry. Of course your opinion matters. I just meant…” Loren struggled to find the words to make this right, to explain to the alchemist once and for all what the Launceleyn had been trying to say all this time. Groaning, he slumped against the wall of the pit. ”You’re a good person. I’m not. And I know you think there’s something good in me, and maybe that’s even true. But you can’t...you can’t keep giving so much of yourself to others, to me, when I, I can’t be…” His voice trailed off. Staring up at the other man, the summoner was at a loss for words. He’d been about to admit that he couldn’t be saved, that some people were beyond saving, but under the circumstances, given everything Remi was going through, it would’ve been the completely wrong words. At least Loren knew that much.

Will blood tell

Coding base by Sky!

hope keeps us breathing, just to kill us in the end

"So I do not matter, because I am a good person?" Remi replied, arms folded across his chest more in an attempt to defend himself against what he was hearing rather than expressing anger. The alchemist chuckled darkly as he turned his gaze to the sky, scowling softly at it and trying not to crumple inwards. He was oh so tired of hearing how all of his various personality traits either made him not trustworthy, reckless, or in the case, apparently not the type of friend someone cared to have. Maybe if he was like Loren and his kindness and love were much harder to get, they would be valued more.

"Does there need to be something good in you, for me to care?" Remi asked finally, lowering his gaze down, sparkling with tears. "Does kindness need to be so conditionally given, for it to matter to you? Is that what you want? To work for affection? Why can you not just be loved for who you are, good or bad?" The alchemist implored, his words rough with emotion, his expression entirely wounded and wilted.