hope keeps us breathing, just to kill us in the end
Whether or not he did truly conceede was left vague. Though Remi's lips did twitch ever so slightly into a smile, though the Launceleyn would have had to be looking in order to see it.
As Loren's hand slipped away the alchemist felt cold and distant once again, but instead of turning away from the summoner he merely nodded, his own hand trailing back against his leg. "Honestly Loren, I really do not know. The hope everyone has in Vi...I think it may well work for the majority, but ...not for.." Clenching his teeth together, Remi looked through tear-heavy lashes and shook his head with a pathetic withheld whimper. "Ronin's blight comes from Safrin herself...he is the worst of them. The farthest progressed and the most gone. I have not—" Remi's fingers clenched at his sides, wanting to drag one across his lips if only to remind himself of the sensations that once were there. Instead, he simply bit his lower lip hard enough to draw bright bead of blood. "—the blight does not kill them, it only changes them. They become...what you said you saw. And once that happens, it is in them. It becomes them."
Looking up at Loren, Remi held up a shaky hand. "What I do not want are promises. I do not want appeals to hope and faith. I want.." Wiping the blood from his lip the alchemist grimaced, releasing the breath he'd been holding only to stare brokenly at the canopy overhead. "I want to smell something other than decay and earth on those that I care for...I want lists of things I need for Rex's wedding, not of those that are blighted. I want to use my magic for good, not to keep those I care about restrained while they beg for blood and death and try to attack all that they see...I..." Remi's breath hitched, tears streaking down his face. "I want to fall asleep next to someone I love...and I want them not to leave." Because when last he'd seen Ronin, his husband had done just that. Remi woke alone in the woods next to the embers of a dying fire, surrounded by blood and loneliness.
"You cannot give me those things, Loren." Remi concluded in a naked whisper. Some, were out of the Launceleyns reach, and others? Like loving and not leaving? Well. Loren had done precisely that once already. So while the summoner was right that they couldn't go on as they were, they also couldn't go on with the expectation that Loren could fix any of it either. The alchemist needed love, comfort, stability, affection...not a list that the Launceleyn was well-positioned to provide.
As Loren's hand slipped away the alchemist felt cold and distant once again, but instead of turning away from the summoner he merely nodded, his own hand trailing back against his leg. "Honestly Loren, I really do not know. The hope everyone has in Vi...I think it may well work for the majority, but ...not for.." Clenching his teeth together, Remi looked through tear-heavy lashes and shook his head with a pathetic withheld whimper. "Ronin's blight comes from Safrin herself...he is the worst of them. The farthest progressed and the most gone. I have not—" Remi's fingers clenched at his sides, wanting to drag one across his lips if only to remind himself of the sensations that once were there. Instead, he simply bit his lower lip hard enough to draw bright bead of blood. "—the blight does not kill them, it only changes them. They become...what you said you saw. And once that happens, it is in them. It becomes them."
Looking up at Loren, Remi held up a shaky hand. "What I do not want are promises. I do not want appeals to hope and faith. I want.." Wiping the blood from his lip the alchemist grimaced, releasing the breath he'd been holding only to stare brokenly at the canopy overhead. "I want to smell something other than decay and earth on those that I care for...I want lists of things I need for Rex's wedding, not of those that are blighted. I want to use my magic for good, not to keep those I care about restrained while they beg for blood and death and try to attack all that they see...I..." Remi's breath hitched, tears streaking down his face. "I want to fall asleep next to someone I love...and I want them not to leave." Because when last he'd seen Ronin, his husband had done just that. Remi woke alone in the woods next to the embers of a dying fire, surrounded by blood and loneliness.
"You cannot give me those things, Loren." Remi concluded in a naked whisper. Some, were out of the Launceleyns reach, and others? Like loving and not leaving? Well. Loren had done precisely that once already. So while the summoner was right that they couldn't go on as they were, they also couldn't go on with the expectation that Loren could fix any of it either. The alchemist needed love, comfort, stability, affection...not a list that the Launceleyn was well-positioned to provide.
Speaks with a thick Italian accent.
Force and magic can be used against Remi without permission.
Force and magic can be used against Remi without permission.
