Amalia
she was afraid of heights
Loren, too, sinks to the floor. If her mind was clearer Amalia would feel remorse for what she is doing, guilt over causing the man to suffer for what was clearly a well-intentioned act. Now, though, she simply feels lost, as though the world is fading around her and her brain is flooding with broken glass and she is sinking far below a string of failures and loss.
She, too, pulls her knees to her chest, her head buried deep within her knees as she tries to steady her frantic breathing, to find even a little bit of stability. Stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it- she isn't sure if she's saying the words silently or aloud, but they ricochet and reverberate around he brain like bullets, tearing her apart. But her right hand keeps rubbing steadily over the empty spot on her wrist, and she rocks gently on the cold ground.
"I got this one a year ago," she whispers, still not looking up at Loren, her voice low and expressionless. The words are rushed, as though if she restores the memory quickly enough she'll be able to restore the scars. "During LongNight. The spark bird perch broke, and I went out to fix it, and everyone turned... crazy. Except me. And then Edrei hit me with magic, and I died- but it worked. The Spark Bird came, for the first time in years."
Triumph. Loss. Fear. Death. But at least she accomplished something, that day- and she'd loved the scar because it was a reminder of it, that one time, one time, she'd succeeded. A reminder that he's taken from her, without her consent.
She, too, pulls her knees to her chest, her head buried deep within her knees as she tries to steady her frantic breathing, to find even a little bit of stability. Stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it- she isn't sure if she's saying the words silently or aloud, but they ricochet and reverberate around he brain like bullets, tearing her apart. But her right hand keeps rubbing steadily over the empty spot on her wrist, and she rocks gently on the cold ground.
"I got this one a year ago," she whispers, still not looking up at Loren, her voice low and expressionless. The words are rushed, as though if she restores the memory quickly enough she'll be able to restore the scars. "During LongNight. The spark bird perch broke, and I went out to fix it, and everyone turned... crazy. Except me. And then Edrei hit me with magic, and I died- but it worked. The Spark Bird came, for the first time in years."
Triumph. Loss. Fear. Death. But at least she accomplished something, that day- and she'd loved the scar because it was a reminder of it, that one time, one time, she'd succeeded. A reminder that he's taken from her, without her consent.
but she was much more afraid
of never flying
