"But still you follow," Jigano said, voice still soft with the pain of Sam's betrayal. "You might question after the fact, but the next time she says 'come' you'll still go running to her like a loyal lapdog, won't you? And when she says 'Do this thing for me' or 'bathe your hands in blood for me' you will, won't you? Without stopping to ask why? And afterwards you might regret the consequences... but it won't stop you from making the same excuses of 'well, it'll be worth it, because she said so.' And never mind the cost in other lives, the pain and confusion of others at being sacrificed against their will for her ambitions." The bard pushed away from the bookshelf, moving over to the door of his office with the snowmoss and lingering there as shaking hands struggled to fit the key into the lock.
"I have seen what the Voice had to show me," he snarled, but softly, keeping his temper on a tighter leash now. "Darkness and rage is what she showed me, Sam. Losing control of my body and mind and attacking the people I love is what she showed me. Unending night and the enslavement of my soul was what she showed me, and it took the Old Gods to save me from the mess she made and didn't even try to fix. So tell me, old friend, where in all of this is the middle we can meet at? You will follow her through blood and fire even at the cost of the people who love you, and I? I am a victim of her ambitions." The key finally clicked and he pushed the door open, refusing to look back at the bookmaker. "And your idea of 'the middle' is to do what you wanted anyways, to let her have her way, with no thought to what it has cost me, and Ronin, and Remi, and all of those were Blighted or had a loved one who was blighted."
He pulled out another handful of snow moss and went to work once more, the movements shaking and mechanical as his voice went flat and exhausted. "I don't know who loosed the first arrows in the war three hundred years ago, Sam. But I know who did in this one." He shut his mouth with a click of teeth on teeth, biting back words that couldn't be unsaid.
But knowing that they were true anyways.
"I have seen what the Voice had to show me," he snarled, but softly, keeping his temper on a tighter leash now. "Darkness and rage is what she showed me, Sam. Losing control of my body and mind and attacking the people I love is what she showed me. Unending night and the enslavement of my soul was what she showed me, and it took the Old Gods to save me from the mess she made and didn't even try to fix. So tell me, old friend, where in all of this is the middle we can meet at? You will follow her through blood and fire even at the cost of the people who love you, and I? I am a victim of her ambitions." The key finally clicked and he pushed the door open, refusing to look back at the bookmaker. "And your idea of 'the middle' is to do what you wanted anyways, to let her have her way, with no thought to what it has cost me, and Ronin, and Remi, and all of those were Blighted or had a loved one who was blighted."
He pulled out another handful of snow moss and went to work once more, the movements shaking and mechanical as his voice went flat and exhausted. "I don't know who loosed the first arrows in the war three hundred years ago, Sam. But I know who did in this one." He shut his mouth with a click of teeth on teeth, biting back words that couldn't be unsaid.
But knowing that they were true anyways.
