LUSEA
i could recognize him by touch alone, by smell
i would know him blind,
Yeah, there's something wrong. I stare at him as he looks away, his head shaking as though I haven't answered correctly. What does he want me to say? I haven't seen him like this before, and it's honestly got me a little rattled. "Can't be worse than getting me killed," I try to joke darkly, but my heart's not in it. "Look. Whatever it is, we'll get through it. I'm planting fucking flowers for you."
But my voice is a little unsteady, and he'll be able to tell how scared I am. I just got him back. I just got my life back - literally. What if this is all some horrible dream, or a hell sequence, and any moment it'll be ripped away from me and I'll realize that no, actually, everything is terrible and I am in fact dead?
And then there it is. My heart stops at the words, and I don't look at him, my face a mask of quiet stone. It's an expression he'll know, one I used to reserve for the worst news about the resistance, for the nights when the bloodshed below the bar snuck upstairs and struck us back. "And?" I don't need to hear it to know, but I need to hear it, for him to own up his mistake. Only then will I be able to figure out how I'm going to respond to the thing I don't want to know happened.
Only then will he know how fucked he is.
But my voice is a little unsteady, and he'll be able to tell how scared I am. I just got him back. I just got my life back - literally. What if this is all some horrible dream, or a hell sequence, and any moment it'll be ripped away from me and I'll realize that no, actually, everything is terrible and I am in fact dead?
And then there it is. My heart stops at the words, and I don't look at him, my face a mask of quiet stone. It's an expression he'll know, one I used to reserve for the worst news about the resistance, for the nights when the bloodshed below the bar snuck upstairs and struck us back. "And?" I don't need to hear it to know, but I need to hear it, for him to own up his mistake. Only then will I be able to figure out how I'm going to respond to the thing I don't want to know happened.
Only then will he know how fucked he is.
i would know him in death,
at the end of the world
SUNJATA
