i am the man we both couldn't stand, i can't wash the dirt from my hands
what was it like to feel in love?
Her joke doesn’t help the situation any. And while this is relatively small in comparison to that fact, he’s never done anything like this before. Not with any of the women that were a part of the resistance, no matter how hard they had tried. And here he was, fumbling, drifting, confused, sick and somewhat lonely throughout it all. He reaches, while she takes the cigarette, for his own – fully expecting to find the lit end of it on his skin at some point, while he fumbles through the words and trembles to light his own.
She tells him she’s planting flowers for him, and it sparks up that small amount of rage he’s tried to keep tied down. And he swallows hard against it, running his other hand through his hair. But when her voice hits him, he grits his teeth. And he can’t, can’t look at her with the sound, with the idea he can imagine her face is, how she had worn it before time and time again with bad news and terrible things. “And” She asks, and he grits his teeth further. “And what do you think?” He snaps suddenly, before he realizes it, shutting down after like he’s already been reprimanded.
But he has to tell her, that’s the one thing he can do. And even if he fucks everything else up, he couldn’t fuck this one up. He takes a deep drag from the cigarette, exhaling the plume of smoke, before he looks to the food between them on the blanket to avoid looking at her face. “I drank a bit, the blight, I guess, acted strangely with it. And I panicked, I told her about the trial, about Korofi, and she gave me a tonic of sorts for the panic.” He pauses, eyes shutting slightly. “And then, when it began to work, and I calmed down, I… Slept with her.” He knows it's his fault, he knows the blame sits on him. But he had to be the one to tell her. It was better to do it this way than to leave it a secret, aside from the way it would bleed into him day after day, tiny barbs attacking with every shaking breath.
He leaves himself open for any form of retaliation, fully deserving of it. Whatever she wants to do, he will let her, because it’s the only way that he knows how she can deal with it. To fight. And he can take it, if only to prove to her how sorry he is in the end.
She tells him she’s planting flowers for him, and it sparks up that small amount of rage he’s tried to keep tied down. And he swallows hard against it, running his other hand through his hair. But when her voice hits him, he grits his teeth. And he can’t, can’t look at her with the sound, with the idea he can imagine her face is, how she had worn it before time and time again with bad news and terrible things. “And” She asks, and he grits his teeth further. “And what do you think?” He snaps suddenly, before he realizes it, shutting down after like he’s already been reprimanded.
But he has to tell her, that’s the one thing he can do. And even if he fucks everything else up, he couldn’t fuck this one up. He takes a deep drag from the cigarette, exhaling the plume of smoke, before he looks to the food between them on the blanket to avoid looking at her face. “I drank a bit, the blight, I guess, acted strangely with it. And I panicked, I told her about the trial, about Korofi, and she gave me a tonic of sorts for the panic.” He pauses, eyes shutting slightly. “And then, when it began to work, and I calmed down, I… Slept with her.” He knows it's his fault, he knows the blame sits on him. But he had to be the one to tell her. It was better to do it this way than to leave it a secret, aside from the way it would bleed into him day after day, tiny barbs attacking with every shaking breath.
He leaves himself open for any form of retaliation, fully deserving of it. Whatever she wants to do, he will let her, because it’s the only way that he knows how she can deal with it. To fight. And he can take it, if only to prove to her how sorry he is in the end.
i can't scrub the black from my lungs
SUNJATA
Feel free to use magic/force on Sunjata, without killing him <3
Sunjata speaks with an Australian accent and has a passive magic that makes him produce a subtle scent that matches exactly to whatever those around him most desire him to smell like.
