I believe that the darkness reminds us where light can be
She swallowed and sighed, biting her lip as she forced herself to not look away. So no. Frey didn’t think she was ready for children. The afterglow suddenly stopped and instead her stomach tied itself in knots. It was one of the most painful truths Frey had ever plopped in front of her. To be told that the one thing you wanted most in life was something you weren’t ready for by a deity that seemed to know all was a major blow to her – which probably only proved Frey’s point more.
But that blow was nothing in comparison to the second revelation.
Her eyes widened and jaw dropped slightly as she gazed up at her god, feeling her heart and lungs stop in her chest. Another. Another. This one killed off by the blight. Another child she would have cherished and loved torn away too soon – so soon she hadn’t even registered their existence. It wall felt so wrong, so horribly, horribly wrong, and the way Frey stared at her did nothing to soothe the sudden ache in her chest. Her eyes squeezed shut and hands curled into fists at her side, fighting the tears that Frey had just criticized her for. But still, a few managed to escape, rolling down her temples and into her hair. ”I’m sorry.” she whispered to them. Everything suddenly felt very out of control, spinning wildly around her. Had this what this had been the whole time? A year’s worth of spiraling madly out of control as she search for things she wasn’t ready for, couldn’t will herself to have, and in the processes losing who she was? Her psyche suddenly hit her rock bottom, her sense of self-worth, ego, pride, mental state – all of it came crashing down around her as low as it could go.
”I want to start over…I need to start over.” she said shakily after an unknown amount of time passed, an odd numbness overcoming her. She didn’t even know what she was doing anymore or who she was or the where, why, when, and how of anything in her life. Maybe it was what she needed, to feel so low that she could only go up.
But that blow was nothing in comparison to the second revelation.
Her eyes widened and jaw dropped slightly as she gazed up at her god, feeling her heart and lungs stop in her chest. Another. Another. This one killed off by the blight. Another child she would have cherished and loved torn away too soon – so soon she hadn’t even registered their existence. It wall felt so wrong, so horribly, horribly wrong, and the way Frey stared at her did nothing to soothe the sudden ache in her chest. Her eyes squeezed shut and hands curled into fists at her side, fighting the tears that Frey had just criticized her for. But still, a few managed to escape, rolling down her temples and into her hair. ”I’m sorry.” she whispered to them. Everything suddenly felt very out of control, spinning wildly around her. Had this what this had been the whole time? A year’s worth of spiraling madly out of control as she search for things she wasn’t ready for, couldn’t will herself to have, and in the processes losing who she was? Her psyche suddenly hit her rock bottom, her sense of self-worth, ego, pride, mental state – all of it came crashing down around her as low as it could go.
”I want to start over…I need to start over.” she said shakily after an unknown amount of time passed, an odd numbness overcoming her. She didn’t even know what she was doing anymore or who she was or the where, why, when, and how of anything in her life. Maybe it was what she needed, to feel so low that she could only go up.
phoebe
