there's light at the edge of the darkness
Actually, now that Phoebe mentioned it, Loren felt more alive than he had in a long time, perhaps since his return. That thought made him smile grimly, and he clasped his hands behind his back. ”It is. Is standing there, taking insults without even trying to get in a few of your own, or defend yourself, or fight back really living? Come onnnn Phoebe. Push me. Raise your voice. Do something, anything other than stand there looking sad.” His voice came out mockingly, since he knew she wouldn’t.
”I’m not looking to gain anything. And I haven’t raised my voice once this conversation.” No, his tone was icy and low and dark, but not loud. Her questions were silly, and clearly showed just how little she understood: he had no agenda, no goals here beyond letting his true self out. It was what everyone wanted, after all, and it wasn’t his fault if what they wanted from him wasn’t a good idea. He'd warned them this would just result in pain in the end, if they insisted on pushing him down this road. ”I don’t care what you think of me, to be quite honest. I’ve just decided that I should stop holding myself back from doing what I want, and saying what I think, and feeling how I should.” And right now, what he wanted was to let go of all the pain and heartbreak he’d been carrying around with him for almost his entire life, and replace it with something much, much better.
”I’m not looking to gain anything. And I haven’t raised my voice once this conversation.” No, his tone was icy and low and dark, but not loud. Her questions were silly, and clearly showed just how little she understood: he had no agenda, no goals here beyond letting his true self out. It was what everyone wanted, after all, and it wasn’t his fault if what they wanted from him wasn’t a good idea. He'd warned them this would just result in pain in the end, if they insisted on pushing him down this road. ”I don’t care what you think of me, to be quite honest. I’ve just decided that I should stop holding myself back from doing what I want, and saying what I think, and feeling how I should.” And right now, what he wanted was to let go of all the pain and heartbreak he’d been carrying around with him for almost his entire life, and replace it with something much, much better.
loren
