I believe that the darkness reminds us where light can be
Phoebe shook her head slowly. ”I am not blinded from the truth. I know no one wants me or loves me.” she said simply, still smiling at him in that warm but sad way. Inside she felt her heart sinking in on itself, her strength maintained by sheer will alone so he would not see her crack and break; at least not again. She didn’t want him to know he had that power over her, and she would hold onto it for as long as she could.
”Sunjata left me because she held his heart long before I ever met him. He never loved me like he loved her, and I knew that. When Lusea appeared here in Caido, it wasn’t even a question of who he would choose. Emmett before him left me because I had too much spark – he didn’t like that I stood my ground against him.” she said, a direct contradiction to what he said men wanted.
”I don’t think I need to admit anything. I haven’t really argued with anything you have said about me, have I?” she said, shrugging a bit. ”I do want someone to love, and someone to love me in return. I am insecure and needy. I’m not perfect, and some would even say I am not a good person. Some might not even venture to say I am kind. I also don’t like confrontation and I am not a very good liar.” she said calmly, still holding his perfectly blue gaze, as much as it hurt. ”But there are a few things you’ve gotten wrong, I’ve just refrained from arguing because I don’t see the point. Since you seem intent on getting it though: I am very introspective and I try to be a better person every day. I am trying to be stronger and more independent. I try to be kind, even when I don’t want to be, because I know the world is a cruel place and I don’t know what other people are suffering through. I don’t think I am holier or better than anyone, I am just trying to do my best each day; and frankly, Loren, if you haven’t seen my spark it’s probably because you haven’t looked.” she said calmly, but firmly.
”Moreover, I don’t need a man to feel complete. I simply want love. And as harsh as your words are, you are wasting your breath – you do not have the power to destroy my sense of worth. It is sad that you are so blinded by your own hurts that you feel the need to resort to nastiness to make yourself feel better.”
”Sunjata left me because she held his heart long before I ever met him. He never loved me like he loved her, and I knew that. When Lusea appeared here in Caido, it wasn’t even a question of who he would choose. Emmett before him left me because I had too much spark – he didn’t like that I stood my ground against him.” she said, a direct contradiction to what he said men wanted.
”I don’t think I need to admit anything. I haven’t really argued with anything you have said about me, have I?” she said, shrugging a bit. ”I do want someone to love, and someone to love me in return. I am insecure and needy. I’m not perfect, and some would even say I am not a good person. Some might not even venture to say I am kind. I also don’t like confrontation and I am not a very good liar.” she said calmly, still holding his perfectly blue gaze, as much as it hurt. ”But there are a few things you’ve gotten wrong, I’ve just refrained from arguing because I don’t see the point. Since you seem intent on getting it though: I am very introspective and I try to be a better person every day. I am trying to be stronger and more independent. I try to be kind, even when I don’t want to be, because I know the world is a cruel place and I don’t know what other people are suffering through. I don’t think I am holier or better than anyone, I am just trying to do my best each day; and frankly, Loren, if you haven’t seen my spark it’s probably because you haven’t looked.” she said calmly, but firmly.
”Moreover, I don’t need a man to feel complete. I simply want love. And as harsh as your words are, you are wasting your breath – you do not have the power to destroy my sense of worth. It is sad that you are so blinded by your own hurts that you feel the need to resort to nastiness to make yourself feel better.”
phoebe
