i want to teach you a lesson in the worst kind of way
still i'd trade all my tomorrows,
He tells her to go home and for a moment she actually contemplates it. But no, she won’t go that easily. If he wants to wallow being this version of himself, she’ll let him, but not before she’s done making it abundantly clear that if he decides to stop being a dick to everyone, that he might have more people willing to be around him. So she remains, drawing herself nearer to the summoner with that same saccharine smile. “We can agree on that.” Because while Loren has built walls to keep himself contained, Rexanna had her moments of breaking and repairing, rebuilding brick by fragile brick.Right now she looks at Loren and feels as though she’s standing in a house, decimated by storms, with broken shattering windows and walls halfway held up.
But she knows he’s going to say that you’re born that way. And that’s where the Penumbra disagrees with the summoner. Her head tilts as her eyes scan his face, the same smile crossing her face as before. “Ah, dear Loren. That’s where you’re wrong.” She hums to him, playful like his sharp words had been.
“Nobody comes out of the womb a monster. You become one when you aren’t given what you need to survive. You adapt. You become what they want you to, so nobody can hurt you anymore.” A brief pause. “And when you do let someone in, you lash out eventually, because you don’t want to let them in, to tear down the walls you’ve so carefully built up.” She’s aware of it, because she has done it before. She had lashed out and fought back, inevitably becoming the self sacrificial lamb Frey had said she was. And she thought she deserved it for a time. But no, not any longer. She wasn’t going to roll over for anyone. And she decides from that, that there’s still hope for him. But she can’t be the one to do that.
Only he can.
for just one yesterday
the
PeNuMBRA
