i want to teach you a lesson in the worst kind of way
still i'd trade all my tomorrows,
Alright, so now Rexanna rolls her eyes. “I’m not a painter, but I still spend time with him. I don’t have to be painting to do that. Sitting in the same room with a good conversation is good enough.” She replies easily. She doesn’t have to be directly involved. Her and Bastien don’t need to become the same person to have a successful marriage. But her frustrations shift, because yes while there’s nothing she can do to help Hotaru, she still can help her by being there for her. She just can’t take the pain away.But it’s not worth it to her to tear him down for those little tidbits of information, as the summoner begins to devolve into this version of her like she’s asked, and she laughs in more disbelief. “Because everyone that’s here that knows me better than myself, knew that version. So yes, I’m a bit defensive.” She acknowledges. It’s a flaw, definitely, but she accepts it and moves on. But he’s not done, he drones on and on once more about how she’s gone out of her way to be different, and the frustration and anger disappears in lieu of a bright smile, genuine across her face.
“Ah, see, no. That’s where you’re getting confused.” She says with a tilt to her head. “I didn’t do it to prevent myself from being that version of myself. I did it for me, which is different from that version. Because while I was only abandoned, I still couldn’t have children. So that’s not new. Becoming Ascended on the other hand, to protect myself from people like Zariah. Marrying Bastien? I did it because I love him. I didn’t do it for power or attention or status, like I did in that other version. I did this for me.” She’s different, different from that version of herself. But only because she chose to put herself first, to not become a piece of someone else’s game.
“I refuse to be a pawn again. And I took those steps to prevent it.” She pauses consideringly, sapphire eyes lifting to his face. “But you’re right. I was weak. But I’m not anymore.”
for just one yesterday
the
PeNuMBRA
