Alas, the red-antlered deer would seem to be quite rare indeed, and Jigano nodded in resignation at the news. It wasn't a surprise, but it would have been a nice one if the alchemist could have reported otherwise. The mention of life-draining people into submission had him snorting though, darkly amused at the thought. "Rude, but effective. Perhaps I'll spend the week tucked into the rafters in raven-shape, trying to avoid being noticed." He offered the alchemist a grin for how unlikely that was. He was a bard, after all. He might be silent for a week if he was alone in the woods, but if there were people about to entertain - or to entertain him - he was almost guaranteed to be around and offering a joke or a tale. Quietly, given the time of year, and not leading any sing-alongs, at least.
He was surprised at the change in Remi's tone, his attention sobering and focusing on the alchemist predator-swift as he searched for what had the younger man worried. Sam's name wasn't unexpected - the bookmaker had said he was staying in the Guild after all - but at Remi's words he frowned in surprise and shook his head. "Hate...? No, of course not. I... told you about my difficulty remembering the weeks when the blight was the worst." He looked away, not wanting to share the fear and pain of that weakness, that oblivion, even with someone who understood it. "I spoke to him once that I can remember before I lost myself to it. And once again, only a few days after I returned from it, while my blood was still black enough to show in my eyes and veins and the rages still caught me sometimes. I don't know if I... if I said anything to him while I was... lost. He said that I didn't, but..." Jigano shook his hard sharply, exhaling as he raised his head again to meet Remi's eyes, and there was pain there, a wound deep enough that he could not hide it entirely.
"If he thinks that either of those conversations were normal, that my growing claws and fangs and throwing chairs is normal for me, that shaking so badly I could not hold a quill was my unblighted, usual self..." The bard drew in a shaking breath, forcing it to steady as he gave Remi a forced smile to try and push the pain back. "Then I do not know what to say. No, I do not hate him. I was mad as hell at the Voice who was the source of the blight that had struck me and people I loved down. I lived my deepest fear because of her, and I am unlikely to forgive her anytime soon. If ever. But no, I don't blame Sam for being used against his will and without his consent."
He was surprised at the change in Remi's tone, his attention sobering and focusing on the alchemist predator-swift as he searched for what had the younger man worried. Sam's name wasn't unexpected - the bookmaker had said he was staying in the Guild after all - but at Remi's words he frowned in surprise and shook his head. "Hate...? No, of course not. I... told you about my difficulty remembering the weeks when the blight was the worst." He looked away, not wanting to share the fear and pain of that weakness, that oblivion, even with someone who understood it. "I spoke to him once that I can remember before I lost myself to it. And once again, only a few days after I returned from it, while my blood was still black enough to show in my eyes and veins and the rages still caught me sometimes. I don't know if I... if I said anything to him while I was... lost. He said that I didn't, but..." Jigano shook his hard sharply, exhaling as he raised his head again to meet Remi's eyes, and there was pain there, a wound deep enough that he could not hide it entirely.
"If he thinks that either of those conversations were normal, that my growing claws and fangs and throwing chairs is normal for me, that shaking so badly I could not hold a quill was my unblighted, usual self..." The bard drew in a shaking breath, forcing it to steady as he gave Remi a forced smile to try and push the pain back. "Then I do not know what to say. No, I do not hate him. I was mad as hell at the Voice who was the source of the blight that had struck me and people I loved down. I lived my deepest fear because of her, and I am unlikely to forgive her anytime soon. If ever. But no, I don't blame Sam for being used against his will and without his consent."
