"I'd have to negotiate a deal with her," Jigano agreed with a chuckle, letting the bittersweet joking and optimism push the fear and stress of the upcoming LongNight back for a little while.
There wasn't much cause for smiling just then, but the bard managed a faint one, and a pulse of gratitude through the Attuned link for Remi's understanding and forgiveness of the blight's taint upon the afflicted tongues and hearts. "I spoke from anger at the Voice," he said quietly. "And I spoke harshly. Unkindly. I was not... I don't remember being dishonest, though," he admitted with a sigh. He was still stunned by how Sam had characterized their conversation, and how badly he had twisted the words spoken in blight-fueled anger towards the Voice. The corruption in him had made him unkind, even cruel in how he had spoken, but that Sam had outright lied to Remi about it? Jigano sighed, a sound that was more than half groan as he dropped his head into his hand.
"No," he said softly. "I didn't say any of that. Even blighted... I never said I hated him. Never said he was a child." A huff of pained laughter escaped from behind his hand as he raised his head again to meet Remi's eyes wearily. "I said I didn't trust the Voice, not after what she did to me and the people I cared for. And I didn't understand why he was still so willing to trust and follow her after she used him. I said that the Voice treated him like a child, but that he wasn't one... and he admitted to being afraid of the control she had over him. Afraid of what she might do to him, if he ever tried to leave her." The bard shook his head, voice becoming soft. "But at the same time he saw nothing wrong with that fear. He trusts her in spite of what she did... and he said that he doesn't trust me."
Jigano exhaled, shoulders slumping as he looked down at his hand where only the most minescule of tremors remained. "So I don't know that things are alright. Not when I'm so afraid that he'll do it again, the next time she asks. Hurt people on accident and without asking her what the consequences of what his tasks might be for others. He is my friend and I care deeply for him... but I'm worried sick over how far he's willing to go for his goddess." Fight for her? Without question anymore, it seemed. Kill for her? That was the question that woke the bard in a cold sweat at night.
There wasn't much cause for smiling just then, but the bard managed a faint one, and a pulse of gratitude through the Attuned link for Remi's understanding and forgiveness of the blight's taint upon the afflicted tongues and hearts. "I spoke from anger at the Voice," he said quietly. "And I spoke harshly. Unkindly. I was not... I don't remember being dishonest, though," he admitted with a sigh. He was still stunned by how Sam had characterized their conversation, and how badly he had twisted the words spoken in blight-fueled anger towards the Voice. The corruption in him had made him unkind, even cruel in how he had spoken, but that Sam had outright lied to Remi about it? Jigano sighed, a sound that was more than half groan as he dropped his head into his hand.
"No," he said softly. "I didn't say any of that. Even blighted... I never said I hated him. Never said he was a child." A huff of pained laughter escaped from behind his hand as he raised his head again to meet Remi's eyes wearily. "I said I didn't trust the Voice, not after what she did to me and the people I cared for. And I didn't understand why he was still so willing to trust and follow her after she used him. I said that the Voice treated him like a child, but that he wasn't one... and he admitted to being afraid of the control she had over him. Afraid of what she might do to him, if he ever tried to leave her." The bard shook his head, voice becoming soft. "But at the same time he saw nothing wrong with that fear. He trusts her in spite of what she did... and he said that he doesn't trust me."
Jigano exhaled, shoulders slumping as he looked down at his hand where only the most minescule of tremors remained. "So I don't know that things are alright. Not when I'm so afraid that he'll do it again, the next time she asks. Hurt people on accident and without asking her what the consequences of what his tasks might be for others. He is my friend and I care deeply for him... but I'm worried sick over how far he's willing to go for his goddess." Fight for her? Without question anymore, it seemed. Kill for her? That was the question that woke the bard in a cold sweat at night.
