REXANNA
Perhaps it’s not something he wishes to test soon, but it might be worth testing out their abilities again once Longnight is over, when they don’t need to worry as much about staying their utmost tip-top shape. And besides, magic could be finicky, and while Rexanna is a magic user herself, she knows this intimately well. While she can’t summon anything, she can understand the need to focus as much as anyone else. She had to focus hard on her fire when she fought the Mathair, and it had been so incredibly exhausting.
At the mention of him not knowing what friends are for, she simply shrugs. There’s time to learnshe hopes, but makes no move to tell him that. Likely since he’s probably thinking the same as her – that Caido was brutal and their futures were as uncertain as could possibly be. But she still remained positive, always trying to, always doing her best to remain that way. Still, she nods to him, watching as he forced himself to relax. A “you’re welcome” while she wonders if she needs to try and ensure he knows that he can talk to her.
At least, until the silence departs and he apologizes in advance for the flood he’s about to unleash on her. But she takes his words to heart, letting him finish before she has a chance to respond, to figure out the details of where he’s going with it. She doesn’t mind when his head rests along hers, finding comfort in the small amount of touch. And at first, his words don’t really come out like a question, and confusion clouds in her mind just for a brief moment. Until, of course, he expands, into the question that he has harbored close to his chest, and she takes her own few precious moments to think on it too.
She nods when he says he wants people to be happy, that deep down he doesn’t mind. But at the same time, how can he help when he doesn’t know what it’s like on his end? Though it’s incredibly ambiguous, and her brows furrow slightly as she tries to think of who he’s mostly referring to, but the question hits her and in a way… She deeply understands the feeling he has.
But he goes on to explain, of letting go of the past, of how Remi said he was bothered by the Ascended biting him, and her lip feathers for a brief moment in her confusion at that fact. Hadn’t Remi been bitten quite a few times by now? He even suggested to bite him, her first bite… To turn around and tell Loren he didn’t want that? But she still remains quiet, allowing him time to digest and figure it out, before she focuses on the bits that stick out to her.
The what ifs, things she had asked herself many times too.
She nods encouragingly, to live a life without guilt is difficult, but it can be done. It only takes time, and a small bit of mind to stop giving as much of a fuck, which with Loren’s work here she’s uncertain if he can without spiraling down into the Loren she had met at the Manor, where poisoned barbs and glacial eyes met her. “Well, for starters…” She manages, tilting her head up to look at him with her sapphire gaze. “I think that… It’s unfair of Remi to think that, to put that on you. If he can go and live his life knowing how you feel about him and not feel guilty about it, it’s unfair for you to have to feel guilty for your own happiness.” Loren shouldn’t have to live in hiding, in seclusion from the Alchemist, just to keep him happy. They need to compromise. And besides, Remi is married. There had to be boundaries somewhere.
“As for the Ascended bites, he was the first to offer it to me to try it out so. He can’t really talk on that front.” She says, giving him a wink and a smile, but it fades as she continues. “I think that deep down, you’re an incredibly caring person. Sometimes it can come out harsh, protective, worried, but that’s who you are. And with everything, I mean… I don’t know much about your past, but if it was anything like mine, none of this is your fault. And you shouldn’t have to apologize for being who you are and doing what you want to do. It’s your life, Loren. Nobody else’s. Do what makes you happy, find what makes you happy, and go for it.”
She had, with Bastien, with her Ascension, with her friends and family new and old.
“I had to learn that the hard way… Mostly from Frey.” She shrugs. “I have always been… One that leaned heavily toward being a sacrificial lamb. And when Cal brought me to Halyven to face my crimes, well..” She pauses, brows furrowing. Perhaps he’d register the connection between the “C” on her chest and the name she’s said. “I escaped, and I fled my own country, the one I was supposed to be the Queen of, to let them plunder and pillage. Just because I didn’t want to face crimes I wasn’t guilty of.” Her lips purse slightly before she shakes her head. “And since then, until I met Frey here and they placed that curse on me, I just sort of thought I deserved it? That everything terrible that happened to me were because I had failed so many people, and that I needed to atone for it. They told me I didn’t. That the past was the past, and that I needed to move on and do things for me. There’s nothing I can change.” She leans into him a bit, pressing her head against his shoulder gently as if to get his attention.
And she smiles, brightly to him. “So stop sacrificing yourself for people that won’t thank you for it. Don’t be the sacrificial lamb. It’s your life, you control it. You do what you want. And if people don’t like it, then fuck ‘em.” A fanged grin is sent his way. “Maybe not literally, but well, I guess if you want to that’s a different story.”
At the mention of him not knowing what friends are for, she simply shrugs. There’s time to learn
At least, until the silence departs and he apologizes in advance for the flood he’s about to unleash on her. But she takes his words to heart, letting him finish before she has a chance to respond, to figure out the details of where he’s going with it. She doesn’t mind when his head rests along hers, finding comfort in the small amount of touch. And at first, his words don’t really come out like a question, and confusion clouds in her mind just for a brief moment. Until, of course, he expands, into the question that he has harbored close to his chest, and she takes her own few precious moments to think on it too.
She nods when he says he wants people to be happy, that deep down he doesn’t mind. But at the same time, how can he help when he doesn’t know what it’s like on his end? Though it’s incredibly ambiguous, and her brows furrow slightly as she tries to think of who he’s mostly referring to, but the question hits her and in a way… She deeply understands the feeling he has.
But he goes on to explain, of letting go of the past, of how Remi said he was bothered by the Ascended biting him, and her lip feathers for a brief moment in her confusion at that fact. Hadn’t Remi been bitten quite a few times by now? He even suggested to bite him, her first bite… To turn around and tell Loren he didn’t want that? But she still remains quiet, allowing him time to digest and figure it out, before she focuses on the bits that stick out to her.
The what ifs, things she had asked herself many times too.
She nods encouragingly, to live a life without guilt is difficult, but it can be done. It only takes time, and a small bit of mind to stop giving as much of a fuck, which with Loren’s work here she’s uncertain if he can without spiraling down into the Loren she had met at the Manor, where poisoned barbs and glacial eyes met her. “Well, for starters…” She manages, tilting her head up to look at him with her sapphire gaze. “I think that… It’s unfair of Remi to think that, to put that on you. If he can go and live his life knowing how you feel about him and not feel guilty about it, it’s unfair for you to have to feel guilty for your own happiness.” Loren shouldn’t have to live in hiding, in seclusion from the Alchemist, just to keep him happy. They need to compromise. And besides, Remi is married. There had to be boundaries somewhere.
“As for the Ascended bites, he was the first to offer it to me to try it out so. He can’t really talk on that front.” She says, giving him a wink and a smile, but it fades as she continues. “I think that deep down, you’re an incredibly caring person. Sometimes it can come out harsh, protective, worried, but that’s who you are. And with everything, I mean… I don’t know much about your past, but if it was anything like mine, none of this is your fault. And you shouldn’t have to apologize for being who you are and doing what you want to do. It’s your life, Loren. Nobody else’s. Do what makes you happy, find what makes you happy, and go for it.”
She had, with Bastien, with her Ascension, with her friends and family new and old.
“I had to learn that the hard way… Mostly from Frey.” She shrugs. “I have always been… One that leaned heavily toward being a sacrificial lamb. And when Cal brought me to Halyven to face my crimes, well..” She pauses, brows furrowing. Perhaps he’d register the connection between the “C” on her chest and the name she’s said. “I escaped, and I fled my own country, the one I was supposed to be the Queen of, to let them plunder and pillage. Just because I didn’t want to face crimes I wasn’t guilty of.” Her lips purse slightly before she shakes her head. “And since then, until I met Frey here and they placed that curse on me, I just sort of thought I deserved it? That everything terrible that happened to me were because I had failed so many people, and that I needed to atone for it. They told me I didn’t. That the past was the past, and that I needed to move on and do things for me. There’s nothing I can change.” She leans into him a bit, pressing her head against his shoulder gently as if to get his attention.
And she smiles, brightly to him. “So stop sacrificing yourself for people that won’t thank you for it. Don’t be the sacrificial lamb. It’s your life, you control it. You do what you want. And if people don’t like it, then fuck ‘em.” A fanged grin is sent his way. “Maybe not literally, but well, I guess if you want to that’s a different story.”
LOREN
