From being an Abandoned who had rarely left the Hollowed Grounds, to embracing the call of adventure, to dying and being reborn first as an Ascended and then as an Ancient, Maea has gone through quite the amount of changes in her life. One thing remains common, though, in her attempts to find out just where she belongs; she’s always had a craving for knowledge which has brought her to so many places and to meet so many people here in Caido. We can’t wait to see what else is in store for her!
Congratulations, Maea!
Credits
Court of the Fallen was created in October of 2018 by Odd, Honey, and Crooked.
Skinning and hosting by the epically talented Kaons, and functionality fanciness by the coding magic of Neowulf. If you ever see either of them around, make sure to show them some love!
The hesitation was practically killing Loren. When Abasi began to speak then stopped, the summoner felt his heart sinking. Presumably, the other man was just trying to let the Launceleyn down gently. However, he’d told himself that it was better to ask and get rejected and he needed to learn how to do that sometime with someone. That didn’t stop him from holding his breath as Abasi opened his mouth to speak again.
Oh.
Well.
Not a rejection then, just an oddly and disappointingly commonsensical response to the summoner’s request. Still, while maybe someone else would’ve been upset that the other man wasn’t excited enough at the thought of messing around that he was going to risk doing it in public, Loren was just glad that he hadn’t misconstrued the situation entirely. And he was happy that the door seemed to be open. Maybe. Presumably. He hoped.
Letting out his breath in a huff of relieved laughter, the Launceleyn gave the other man an understanding grin. ”I don’t usually make a habit of giving myself to others either. And I understand not wanting to do anything in public.” So if the summoner had to wait, he’d wait. Not that he was particularly happy about it. ”I can’t say I’m thrilled at the thought of waiting until after LongNight,” especially because he wasn’t sure either of them would survive it, ”so I hope you don’t mind if I keep an eye out for someplace private in the Temple. In the meantime, how about a kiss to tide me over?”
Loren bit his lip as he stared at Abasi, their faces close. The Launceleyn was still hoping to get something out of this encounter that would tell him that the other man was serious and not just trying to get out of this situation. The fact that Abasi hadn't moved might just have been awkwardness and feeling uncomfortable. After all, Loren wasn't particularly good at reading these sorts of situations or those sorts of cues. He'd already taken all the chances that he dared here, just by asking.
Loren seemed to be a little disappointed (understandably, Abasi supposed, if he really had expected them to have sex on the Rathskeller floor) but laughed anyway. When he admitted he did not frequently give himself away either, Abasi for a moment wondered if they were dancing around the beginnings of something more than a physical attraction here, especially as he tended to not care too much about those, but it was far too soon to tell.
"I did not know you were so eager to do this. Did you invite me to the manor as a courtesan?" There was a hint of humour to the question in his voice, though he was anxious too, for a reason he couldn't quite pin down; just a flutter in his chest, anticipation for something.
Ah, there it was. Loren wanted a kiss.
"A...kiss." He turned in a bit closer, his eyes looking closely at Lorens and his body tilted in his direction. "I must warn you that I am not experienced in this kind of thing and it may not be particularly pleasurable."
Abasi’s question caused Loren to let out another huff of laughter, matching the humor in the other man’s voice. ”No, no I did not. I just wanted to help you out. I certainly wasn’t expecting anything.” Indeed, the Launceleyn hadn’t been expecting much of anything from anyone, including himself. At least in anything close to resembling a romantic or sexual way. That was part of the problem, and why he’d been so uncertain before, when he’d asked Abasi if this was okay, between them.
The fact that it was okay was surprising to both of them, it seemed. Weirdly, that made the summoner slightly bolder. His hand drifted over slowly until it rested on the other man’s knee again; they were in public, sure, but nobody could see anything under the sheet, and the gesture was innocent enough and easily explained. Hopefully Abasi would accept it. ”That doesn’t mean I’m not eager.” It just meant the Launceleyn’s eagerness had a lot more to do with his loneliness and how much drama there’d been in every other aspect of his life rather than any long term plan on his part. The other man was far from all those worries, and his confidence and forthrightness was refreshing. Desperation wasn’t a good look, though, even Loren knew that so obviously he wouldn't say anything along those line. Plus, even he wasn’t above a little bit of flattery—no one was—and Abasi had called the summoner both powerful and attractive. Neither was something he was used to hearing from other people.
As the other man turned to the Launceleyn and asked for clarification about the kiss, he smiled, hoping this was an encouraging sign. When Abasi confessed that this was, indeed, not something he’d had much experience with (something the summoner had already suspected) Loren let out another one of those breathless laughs, turning onto his side as well so they were fully facing one another.
He propped himself up so he was a little above the other man. Though it required the summoner to move his hand from Abasi's knee, that was fine by the Launceleyn. After all, he was hoping for something a little less tame. ”Why don’t you let me be the judge of that?” With that, he reached out and cupped the other man’s cheek, the touch gentle. Then Loren leaned in and closed the distance between their lips. Hopefully Abasi wouldn’t back out now.
Abasi was not at all a man prone to romantic thoughts, but he couldn't deny the slight flutter in his chest as Loren shifted over him. He'd only been in a position like this once before, on a balcony over looking the desert, soft chiffon curtains blowing over a sunset and orange light illuminating the face above him.
But he would never get to be back there, and Loren was certainly no less exciting. The hand on his face was warm and he reached up to cover it with his own hand, taking a nervous breath just before Loren's lips touched his. He was still at first, unsure how to react, frozen in the absurdity that this was happening at all.
Then something inside him took over. Something that needed some kind of break. That needed a positive thing after all the pain of the last few months, that knew this was good for him. His other hand came up to hold Loren's jaw and pull him closer and his lips parted, Abasi counting on instinct to tell him what to do.
10-18-2019, 09:54 PM (This post was last modified: 10-19-2019, 05:36 AM by Loren.)
LOREN
Luckily, blessedly, wonderfully, Abasi’s hand came up to hold Loren’s. Then their lips touched, finally, incredibly, even if it was relatively chaste at first. He kept his eyes open, gazing into the other man’s. If this was all they were going to do for a while—maybe ever, if LongNight was as cruel this year as it had been in years past, or something else or they themselves got in the way—the Launceleyn wanted to experience every sensation, memorize every detail. So they stayed like that for an endless instant.
Then the other man cupped the summoner’s jaw, and his eyes widened. That was a surprise, but it was certainly a more than pleasant one. Indeed, he mirrored Abasi’s motion: Loren laid his hand atop the other man’s, while the thumb on Abasi’s cheek stroked softly, tenderly.
However, the other man didn’t stop there. Maybe they’d both wanted this more than they realized, or maybe Abasi was just getting caught up in the heat of the moment. The Launceleyn decided not to worry about the whys of it all, just the whats
Which was why, when the Launceleyn felt the other man’s lips open, the summoner hummed happily and maybe, just maybe a bit wickedly in the back of his throat as his tongue darted forward, seeking entry. A heat was building in his belly, and even this small touch was enough to send blood rushing towards his groin. Despite having been with Frey, he hadn't actually been with that many people, so even this small amount of pleasure was enough to excite him. And his body. Still, he didn’t want to push Abasi farther than the other man was comfortable; all Loren had asked for was a kiss, and while he wasn’t opposed to doing more, he wouldn't move beyond a kiss unless invited to. However, if it was a fucking amazing kiss, he definitely wouldn’t mind.
Loren's tongue pushed against his lips and Abasi let it in, a mimicking groan sounding in his own throat. He felt himself wanting to wrap his arms around Loren's neck, pull the man over him, begin to rock his hips...instinct, heat inside him that knew exactly what to do. But unfortunately for the more carnal parts of Abasi (and for Loren), he still had principles, and he had already toyed with the lines too much.
Slowly he pulled away, a lingering and reluctant move but a firm one, his hands going to the floor to prop himself up, the cold of the stone through the blanket immediately noticeable. "...A kiss." He said, awkwardly, with a little half-laugh, reiterating what their agreement had been.
With the moment of need passing (though there would be an excitement thrumming through him for a while) he found himself embarrassed, looking down and licking his lips, not sure what was appropriate to say next.
10-19-2019, 12:47 AM (This post was last modified: 10-19-2019, 05:39 AM by Loren.)
LOREN
So far, so very very good. Abasi let Loren’s tongue in, so he immediately sought out the other man’s. Simultaneously, the summoner’s teeth nipped at Abasi’s lower lip, pulling on it gently. If they were only going to have this one kiss to sustain them, then the Launceleyn wanted it to be one to remember. Maybe one that the other man would think about, and want more of. This was just a taste. So it better be delicious.
Although Loren let out a small growl as Abasi pulled away, the summoner let the other man’s mouth go. However, even as Abasi lowered himself, the Launceleyn kept his hand on the other man’s cheek. Smiling gently down, Loren’s thumb stroked softly, once. Twice. ”Just one.” His smile grew until it was a full blown grin and his voice dropped to a lower and slightly heated pitch, his eyes twinkling with what might’ve been mischief or might’ve been hints of passion. ”For now.” Because now that he’d gotten one kiss—and now that he knew the other man’s misgivings most likely were just with the setting and not with the act itself—the Launceleyn wasn’t going to be satisfied until he’d gotten more than one. Of everything Abasi was willing to offer.
Maybe that made the summoner selfish and foolish. But it had been over a year since he’d kissed anyone, and now his body was awakened with a passion that he barely remembered experiencing before. With Frey, it had been different, more head-spinning—and more pleasurable, probably, not that the summoner had a good baseline for that—but somehow less intimate and true than kissing a real person.
However, he released Abasi, knowing this needed to end. The summoner rolled onto his back, though their sides still touched. ”Let the record show that I judged that entirely pleasurable.” Indeed, that fact was apparent by the way Loren’s pants suddenly felt too tight, and the way his cheeks had heated and reddened. Maybe it was an outsized reaction for what had been a pretty tame kiss, all things considered, but again, it had been a long, long time before he’d actually done this. Hopefully the other man agreed with the Launceleyn’s assessment. He hadn't missed Abasi's hesitancy, but Loren prayed that was just uncertainty about how to move on from here, from this, something that he didn't have answers for either. Yet.
10-19-2019, 01:46 PM (This post was last modified: 10-19-2019, 01:47 PM by Abasi.)
The stars, the moon,
They have all been blown out
The strokes on his cheek and Loren's smile set alight a little heat in Abasi's chest, in a place he didn't even know there was tinder. As much as he tried to be a lone pillar, a solitary man who did not need anything except his books and mind, there was a undeniable happiness in seeing the desire in Loren's eyes and knowing that if they were anywhere else, their lips would stay together for as long as they wanted.
"For now." He repeated, an uncharacteristically anxious laugh leaving him, though the nerves were more from anticipation than fear. Loren moved off of him and he felt cold despite the blankets - without even really thinking of what he was doing, he reached between them to take the summoner's hand, holding it gently. While they both most certainly had erections, he felt more soft and warm than passionate and fiery in the moment.
Entirely pleasurable, Loren said. Abasi laughed and shrugged, looking over the ceiling above them. "Then that is fortunate, for I believe that was only the second time I have ever kissed anyone. I am sure you are much more experienced than me...I never had much time for sexual matters in Egypt. Especially not as my father always wished for me to have children and I had no chance of successfully seducing a woman - not that I do not find them attractive but...the other men all had much more skill in using their words for romance." With all that said, he had apparently seduced Loren with no intention to do so. Perhaps he was just a man's man (but in a gay way).
They agreed to leave it at a kiss, though Loren couldn’t help but hope that the lingering hesitancy he could hear in Abasi’s voice and laugh had more to do with how new this was than any regrets or doubts. Given how pessimistic the summoner usually was, that was hard. Thankfully, he’d gotten good at masking his fears by now. Luckily, it was easier than usual this time to just accept the pleasure and comfort where he could. It helped that there were no strings attached, no complications here. In the back of his mind, though, he still had his worries.
Then they were alleviated somewhat—though not banished entirely—when the other man’s hand found the Launceleyn’s. He squeezed it gently, glad the other man wanted more contact, and more than glad to provide it. It was nice to lay here, quietly, privately, secretly holding hands, without the rest of the world intruding. For now.
As Abasi laughed, Loren turned his head to look at the other man, a gentle smile on the summoner’s lips; it faded slightly, in scope if not in intensity, as he listened to Abasi began to recount his previous experiences with others. Other men even. However, then it was the Launceleyn’s turn to chuckle softly. ”To be honest, I’ve only kissed two other people. My family expected to marry me off to have kids as well, but they never found a suitable match. In the meantime, I too found myself falling for the charms of men.” That wasn’t to say he found women unattractive. He’d just avoided them, because he was afraid of bringing anyone he actually liked into his family. And if they didn’t have magic, his kin would likely deter them. Then one thing led to another.
That wasn’t the whole truth, though, and honesty had served him well with Abasi up until now. ”Though I did have some encounters with Frey, which were quite something. Still, I wouldn’t say that I am much more experienced than you. With people, at least.” That wasn’t necessarily a bad thing; they could take it as slow as they needed to in order to make sure they were doing it right, which would maybe help the Launceleyn avoid screwing it up. Not that there was a right way to explore this sort of thing, he knew that better than most, just wrong ones. And if all this ended up being was a few stolen kisses, a few fleeting moments of pleasure, that would be fine too.
"Do you want to? Have children." Abasi asked, thinking over his own feelings on the matter. He had always assumed it would be something he would just eventually do, but he had never felt any great passion for the prospect. It was a lot of work and he knew he didn't have the patience for any rebellions. Parenting, good parenting, required discipline but also plenty of love, and he had always struggled to give that openly.
As Loren mentioned 'experiences' with Frey, Abasi shifted to look at him, surprised. Was he not Abandoned? As far as he knew Frey was one of the Gods that would not speak to them, let alone sleep with them. "You...slept with a God? How did that come about? I thought that they hated us."
Perhaps Loren had not shown him all of his true self yet. Abasi found himself looking at the man with a new feeling, somewhere been respect and wariness.
Caught off guard by Abasi’s question, Loren froze for a brief moment. Then he let out a small chuckle. It seemed like a surprisingly intimate question, given that all they'd done was kiss. ”I didn’t think so, for a long time. My parents, my whole extended family, really, didn’t treat their children well, and I had no interest in putting others, let alone my own sons and daughters, through that.” His eyes grew a little sad as he remembered the horrors of his upbringing.
Pausing, he gave the other man a considering look. ”But I’ve been taking care of my half-sister and my nephew, and...it’s not so bad.” Whether that meant he wanted children of his own he couldn’t exactly say. But maybe he thought he did, though he couldn’t say when, or how many, or if that was even real, or if he was just feeling slightly happy for once and maybe a little hopeful about what the future might hold. Maybe it was a little bit of everything, all at once: the future, even with the monsters and darkness outside, seemed brighter. Or at least it seemed that there was a future.
Again, people were constantly amazed that the Launceleyn had encountered Frey. Granted, it was kind of amazing, and he was more surprised than any of them. However, he was also deeply uncomfortable discussing the details; he flushed a furious shade of crimson, though he tried to keep the sudden nervousness out of his voice. ”Not exactly. It was more like, ah, the god let me sleep with myself. The second time.” It was nearly impossible to explain. ”The first time, well, uh, they um...jerked me off.” This was probably too much information—especially for someone he’d just kissed, and who Loren was kind of hoping maybe to impress a little—but it was impossible not to feel awkward about all this.
Unfortunately, it was also impossible to explain why Frey had deigned to speak to the summoner. ”I don’t know. I prayed and they just showed up.” Perhaps it was just a morbid curiosity, or maybe there was something in the Launceleyn that even he didn’t know about that had intrigued the god. Regardless, showing up twice had to mean something. He just didn’t know what. Nor was Frey particularly forthcummingcoming about their motivations.
"My parents were...strict." Abasi said, almost to himself, as Loren mentioned families. He didn't know if he could claim any real abuse, but he had certainly never felt particularly loved. Simply the only child, the only one who could carry on his family's legacy and could not afford to ruin the chance. "But if your parents are no longer here...could you not have children now without worrying about that?"
Not that he really had any investment as to whether Loren was going to have children or not. He just liked talking to him, something that was as new and strange as anything else about Caido.
Loren was right to blush; Abasi leaned up and stared at him, wide-eyed. "What do you mean you slept with yourself? You put your...in..your...?" He could not bring himself to say it, but he looked down towards Loren's groin and assumed the implication was clear.
But he was rather eager to get past that, surprised at himself for voicing the question. "I prayed and got no response. You must have done something special."
Although the other man had spoken softly, the summoner still caught it. Apparently, Abasi hadn’t had the easiest upbringing either. However, Loren was pretty sure it was nothing compared to the Launceleyns. Still, that didn’t mean he couldn’t offer some sympathy and comfort. ”I’m sorry you had to go through that.” He accompanied his words with a gentle squeeze of the other man’s hand.
When the subject swung back around to the summoner’s family, though—and potential children—he sighed. ”It wasn’t just my parents, it was the whole extended family. I told you about my cousin, right? Well, we’re all pretty sure she’s coming back, sooner rather than later.” He’d almost slipped and said right after LongNight, but that wasn’t his secret to tell. None of that was the real problem, though. ”Plus, I’ve only experienced...bad examples of parenthood. And I’m...I worry that I’ll just repeat the mistakes of my ancestors.” Abasi might not like that: the other man seemed to care deeply about traditions. Unfortunately, not all heritages were worth preserving.
Of course, then the mood swung rapidly from deep-seated fear to bone-deep embarrassment; of all the things Abasi could’ve picked up on, it was of course the self-fucking that caught his attention. As the other man rose above Loren, he did his best to sink into the hard floor below, pressing himself downward someone as if he could tunnel through ground via sheer willpower and force of awkwardness. Abasi’s glance at the summoner’s groin pushed him over the edge; he laughed, brightly and freely, if a bit uncomfortably, because all that tension had to go somewhere. ”Yes. Yes I did. It was...quite remarkable.” That was a totally inadequate description, but words couldn’t really do it justice.
However the other man seemed more interested in the fact that Frey had answered the Launceleyn than the actual events that had transpired. Thank the gods. ”Not really. At least I don't think I did. I really don’t know why they responded to me and not to you. I mean, I went to a shrine associated with the old gods, and brought gifts, and asked for them directly, but I did that other times and they didn’t always answer.” He gave Abasi a slightly apologetic smile. ”So if I find out what was different about the visits they showed up, I’ll let you know.” For someone who’d gone from being one of the highest priests in his world to someone who was Abandoned, ignored by the gods, it must be excruciatingly difficult. Far more so than it was for the summoner, whose world didn’t have gods.
Abasi's initial reaction to Loren's condolences was to snort and dismiss it, wanting to immediately wave the whole thing away. But something stopped him; perhaps the fact that no one had ever said such a thing to him before, or perhaps that he was now more ready to hear it. Whatever the reason, he simply nodded, his brows furrowing as he wondered whether it was something that deserved to be apologised for.
"You think if your cousin comes back she would harm your children? If they were yours, you are their father. You would have the last word in how they were treated." He said with absolute confidence, sure that Loren, when given the chance, would be a perfectly adequate and protective parent. "As for ancestral mistakes..."
Perhaps he valued tradition, but he was not an old fool sticking to the ancient ways blindly. "They are not warnings, but lessons. See what they did and do differently." After all, that was how the world progressed, building on and improving upon the work of generations prior.
The way that Loren sunk down basically answered his question about the mechanics of 'sleeping with yourself', but he was still given a verbal answer. He had somehow not expected to be correct and he moved back, brows raised and speechless. Eventually he managed to mumble "I see.", wondering (ashamedly) about the length of Loren's anatomy.
Frustratingly Loren had done exactly what he had at the shrine. "I must admit I am coming to resent these Gods, who would toss me away without a second thought. I entered this place 'Abandoned'. What did I do to deserve that? Is it for my service to other Gods in my own world?" There was a clear undercurrent of anger in his tone, his free hand coming up to pinch the bridge of his nose. "I refuse to go repeatedly to a shrine and beg on the off chance they may take pity on me, when it is them that cast me down to this position to begin with."
