Alistair nodded, Vervain was saying all of the right things. She was a mother, it was in her programming to know exactly what to say and how to say it.
It was hard to debate her, even harder to hear her make sense. "I lost myself...but never saw it because I put so much of myself in trying to protect her, give her a chance to be more than what she thought of herself as...you can't save everyone...lesson I was due to learn."
He double-took a glance at Vervain realizing what he said just as he was about to drink. "I didn't mean..." Alistair huffed, embarrassed by his accusation. "...I wish her to be happy, to be safe. As long as she has you and Devrum I know she will be...I didn't mean to say she wouldn't...
Suppose you're right though. There's nothing for me but to try and rebuild what's been broken...and I will, it'll take time but it'll happen...and I'll be all the wiser for this...just..."
Fingers reached up and rubbed between his eyes. "...Perhaps a change of subject before I talk in circles of my misery...thank you though, mum...for listening." Alistair smirked, more genuinely this time hoping she knew to refill him again.
"There's something I never told anyone since arriving...At some point between Northwind, and arriving here...I saw my father. Not a vision, physically...I saw him. I was in his study, a scattering of books and contraptions and all sorts of...organized madness." The latter chuckled as he shook his head.
"I saw him...and he looked so happy to see me. He told me he was proud, and had been watching me all this time...however I ended up there, time was limited...but he gave me a mask and said to mind it, it wasn't quite finished, but it would prove of value to me.
This sounds like madness I know...but when I woke here, I looked to the side and I was holding the very mask he gave me. It's at home...haven't the mind to even try to see what it does. Never saw anything quite like it...but it was a small token, compared to actually seeing him...there was so much I wanted to ask, but time...never enough time. Before a word was spoken on my end I was here...madness right?"
It was hard to debate her, even harder to hear her make sense. "I lost myself...but never saw it because I put so much of myself in trying to protect her, give her a chance to be more than what she thought of herself as...you can't save everyone...lesson I was due to learn."
He double-took a glance at Vervain realizing what he said just as he was about to drink. "I didn't mean..." Alistair huffed, embarrassed by his accusation. "...I wish her to be happy, to be safe. As long as she has you and Devrum I know she will be...I didn't mean to say she wouldn't...
Suppose you're right though. There's nothing for me but to try and rebuild what's been broken...and I will, it'll take time but it'll happen...and I'll be all the wiser for this...just..."
Fingers reached up and rubbed between his eyes. "...Perhaps a change of subject before I talk in circles of my misery...thank you though, mum...for listening." Alistair smirked, more genuinely this time hoping she knew to refill him again.
"There's something I never told anyone since arriving...At some point between Northwind, and arriving here...I saw my father. Not a vision, physically...I saw him. I was in his study, a scattering of books and contraptions and all sorts of...organized madness." The latter chuckled as he shook his head.
"I saw him...and he looked so happy to see me. He told me he was proud, and had been watching me all this time...however I ended up there, time was limited...but he gave me a mask and said to mind it, it wasn't quite finished, but it would prove of value to me.
This sounds like madness I know...but when I woke here, I looked to the side and I was holding the very mask he gave me. It's at home...haven't the mind to even try to see what it does. Never saw anything quite like it...but it was a small token, compared to actually seeing him...there was so much I wanted to ask, but time...never enough time. Before a word was spoken on my end I was here...madness right?"
