I've lost control of all my senses

Sam lifted his head to watch Jigano approach, wondering if he was going to stop to speak. His finger rested on his stumps for the moment as his eyes followed his friend, the pain descending back down to a constant dull ache. He was mostly sure Jigano was not going to stop; honestly in his current state of mind he was surprised he had been let in at all. Didn't they all see he was guilty? So he was shocked when Jigano sat down opposite him and asked (and he sounded so tired, so weary) if he wanted to talk. Did he? He really didn't know. What was there to say? After their last conversation he was sure the Provost thought him an idiot and a coward and this could not help matters. Yet he found his mouth opening and before he'd had a chance to think them through, words fell out: "It wasn't meant to go like this. I don't... I don't want anyone t-to be hurt. I didn't want to hurt anyone. Rexanna...I wish...I wish what happened to her was me, instead, because it was my stupid fault--" Suddenly he looked down, his good hand going up to pull at his hair aggressively. "I don't even know if Bastien is alive and Remi...Remi was hurt too. He'll pretend it wasn't so bad because that's what he does, but I saw his face." Samuel He took a step but then felt tired He said, I'll rest a little while But when he tried to walk again He wasn't a child