hallucinogenics

PHOEBE

Emotional. It's a lot. Overreact. Give less of a shit.

She refused to look at him. Even as he grabbed her arm and pulled her into the next room so she wouldn't disturb the sleeping boys, she kept her eyes trained on the ground. Her lips were pursed, brows were furrowed, but she did not tear up. Perhaps it was a small thing, but it was big progress for her. "When did caring deeply become a bad thing?" said quietly, still glaring at the ground. "Why does being open with my feelings have to be bad? Or taken as immaturity?" she said. Finally she looked up at him, brown gaze hard, lacking her familiar warmth still.

"I have weight on my shoulders because I claim it. Because I'm trying to make this place safer. Because I put my too-much emotions aside and get the job done. Do you know how hard it is to look children in the eye and tell them their mother is dead and explain what that means?" she said angrily. "And I don't have a Lusea or a Ronin like Remi or a Deimos like Amalia or a Rexanna like Bastien. I am doing this all pretty much on my own and all you and everyone cares about is that I'm young and have big emotions?! Gods forbid, anything but that!" she snapped, turned and storming away for a moment in anger. She crossed her arms, shaking head to toe.

But after a few moments of silence she finally turning back to him, still glaring, but more calm. "If you're going to base your point on me needing to care less then save your breath. If more people around here genuinely cared about everyone else and was willing to sacrifice bits of their selves to make the whole better, there would be so much less strife and struggle."

Cause getting your dreams
It's strange, but it seems
A little - well - complicated
There's a kind of a sort of : cost
There's a couple of things get: lost
There are bridges you cross
You didn't know you crossed
Until you've crossed
And if that joy, that thrill
Doesn't thrill you like you think it will
Still, why am I not happier?