hallucinogenics

PHOEBE

It wouldn't be hard to pull the midwife into a hug. Without the blight coursing through her veins, any inclination to be combatant was entirely gone. Instead, she relaxed, closing her eyes as her face pressed against his chest. It was a simple comfort, but one she desperately needed. Her hands remained at her side though, soaking in the ting bit of affection without giving it in return. She had given Jata too much of her self already.

Quietly she followed as he pulled her away, brow raising slightly as he turned into a large, black cat after telling her to vent. The blonde sighed and sat, gently grabbing the end of his long tail and running it through her hands methodically, the mindless action grounding her slightly. "I'm just sick of being told I'm young. Like its an excuse or a reason to discount me. Like...because I am not trying to save the world or running off on reckless adventures that anything I do is dismissable." she said softly, frowning at her lap as she continued to play with his tail. "And I'm.. I'm just overwhelmed because now I've got to do it all with three six year olds - and they are lovely boys and I am happy to raise them and love them - but...it's a lot. And I am alone - and it isn't whining about not having a husband or someone to love me anymore its...its that triplets are a lot for one person! Let alone one person running two medical practices, both of which I am now going to be doing pretty much on my own. Cera died and it crushes me. Nate is never around. And Loren...I don't know he has his nose in everything even though he hasn't taken any time to really get to know what's going on and even when he does he always thinks he is more right somehow and its frustrating." she said with a sigh.

For a moment she fell silent. It was a lot. A lot she didn't even know how to put into words. "And it all keeps happening all at once and I've no time to process, and everyone thinks I'm just whining but...but haven't I been through enough to be allowed to be upset about it? Just for a bit before I figure out my next step? Why do I have to keep it together all of the time? It isn't healthy! We have these emotions for a reason and we should feel them fully and process them."

Cause getting your dreams
It's strange, but it seems
A little - well - complicated
There's a kind of a sort of : cost
There's a couple of things get: lost
There are bridges you cross
You didn't know you crossed
Until you've crossed
And if that joy, that thrill
Doesn't thrill you like you think it will
Still, why am I not happier?