in my darkness, you turned on a light
i hate the way you bring me back to life
He knows the comment is aimed to get under his skin. He knows that there’s little truth in it. After all, he had been accused of smothering her since the entire ordeal, and so he had done his best to give the space she needed to deal with it. But that doesn’t mean it doesn’t still hurt somewhere deep down in his anxieties and insecurities, enough that he ends up gritting his teeth. The apology, however, takes him by surprise, but it does little to soften the hardened steel of his eyes. It only has him shake his head.
“We were both blighted still. It was… a lot of bad decisions. Phoebe wanted me to choose her, and I told her I couldn’t. I just chose her for a night.” He manages, trying to shift the blame, because he knows it was his fault he had gone to get her out of the jail anyway. Had he never done it? It wouldn’t have happened. Right? His question of if he’s told Lusea that is answered with a nod as he removes his hands from the summoner, hand running through his hair as he exhales slowly. “I’ve told Lusea so many times, how sorry I am.” But while Loren might have fucked his flame, he doesn’t know what had occurred between them.
And he’s impressively drunk enough to tell it.
“I was the first one to tell her after it happened.” He doesn’t know if it’s noble, or a show of how much he cares. But he hadn’t kept it a secret. It would have torn him up inside. It still does. But Loren’s comment reaches him, a hand on his shoulder beneath muscles that tense with the touch. He’s not used to this, not used to dealing with it all. Not used to not being enough when there were so many better choices here in Caido. Maybe she had simply settled for him in Korofi, before she had realized the world could be at her fingertips.
Surprisingly, he remains silent while Loren offers to get some water, grumbling along in agreement before following the summoner — tension seeming to roil beneath the surface. “We’ve both changed so much.” He utters unhelpfully. “She died because of me and I couldn’t keep myself together. It was three years since she died, and to her it was an hour? Maybe? And she was so ready to try and get used to this version of me before i fucking blew it apart.” He’s absolutely not off the hook yet, if Lusea’s constantly snide comments are anything to say about it.
Somewhere he thinks perhaps he deserves all the wrath in the world.
“We were both blighted still. It was… a lot of bad decisions. Phoebe wanted me to choose her, and I told her I couldn’t. I just chose her for a night.” He manages, trying to shift the blame, because he knows it was his fault he had gone to get her out of the jail anyway. Had he never done it? It wouldn’t have happened. Right? His question of if he’s told Lusea that is answered with a nod as he removes his hands from the summoner, hand running through his hair as he exhales slowly. “I’ve told Lusea so many times, how sorry I am.” But while Loren might have fucked his flame, he doesn’t know what had occurred between them.
And he’s impressively drunk enough to tell it.
“I was the first one to tell her after it happened.” He doesn’t know if it’s noble, or a show of how much he cares. But he hadn’t kept it a secret. It would have torn him up inside. It still does. But Loren’s comment reaches him, a hand on his shoulder beneath muscles that tense with the touch. He’s not used to this, not used to dealing with it all. Not used to not being enough when there were so many better choices here in Caido. Maybe she had simply settled for him in Korofi, before she had realized the world could be at her fingertips.
Surprisingly, he remains silent while Loren offers to get some water, grumbling along in agreement before following the summoner — tension seeming to roil beneath the surface. “We’ve both changed so much.” He utters unhelpfully. “She died because of me and I couldn’t keep myself together. It was three years since she died, and to her it was an hour? Maybe? And she was so ready to try and get used to this version of me before i fucking blew it apart.” He’s absolutely not off the hook yet, if Lusea’s constantly snide comments are anything to say about it.
Somewhere he thinks perhaps he deserves all the wrath in the world.
'cause i am haunted, i cannot tell a lie
i like you better when i am dead inside
SuNJATA
Feel free to use magic/force on Sunjata, without killing him <3
Sunjata speaks with an Australian accent and has a passive magic that makes him produce a subtle scent that matches exactly to whatever those around him most desire him to smell like.
