black hearts, the wicked never rest. i curse the day i let you in
so tell me dear,
“You matter.”
Does she? Or does she just deserve to sit in spiral after spiral, getting close to those taken away from her, destroying them as she does herself every. single. time. It’s better that way, better to break and destroy, to crumble and fall apart into nothing that could hurt anyone else again, since it’s apparently she can’t absorb everyone else’s hurt (a sign she’s so close to her mother that she doesn’t realize it) and she burns in her faltering, flickering flame.
She doesn’t matter, at the end of the day. She shouldn’t have gotten involved, shouldn’t have stopped that day Auni and her were hunting. Shouldn’t have stopped to see Ru’in when he had been dragging some wood back before last LongNight. She hadn’t even gotten too much time with him before he perished. But she had moved on, somehow, with everything else going on. Had forgotten about him as soon as summer hit and the greatwood beckoned.
And then she’d been trapped, hidden beneath the rounds of Fae guards, sacrificed and forced to relive her traumas.
A sacrifice.
She almost wishes it was like how she thought it was. When she had walked in fully prepared to lose her life for such a crime she had committed. Perhaps she wouldn’t have been blighted, then, forced to attack the very man holding her pieces together when she shouldn’t have even brought such a burden onto him.
That is what she is. A burden.
Everyone has someone, except for her. Because they always keep leaving or dying (she has yet to learn of Ezra’s fate, too) and she’s tired of this endless terrible life she’s become a part of. And so, she trembles in his arms, breaks, falls apart, while he holds her like haphazard glue, trying to make the pieces fit back together the same, but some are ripped and torn at the edges, and they’re never going to be placed back the same. “Do I?” Or is he simply just telling her that.
She thinks it’s a bluff.
Does she? Or does she just deserve to sit in spiral after spiral, getting close to those taken away from her, destroying them as she does herself every. single. time. It’s better that way, better to break and destroy, to crumble and fall apart into nothing that could hurt anyone else again, since it’s apparently she can’t absorb everyone else’s hurt (a sign she’s so close to her mother that she doesn’t realize it) and she burns in her faltering, flickering flame.
She doesn’t matter, at the end of the day. She shouldn’t have gotten involved, shouldn’t have stopped that day Auni and her were hunting. Shouldn’t have stopped to see Ru’in when he had been dragging some wood back before last LongNight. She hadn’t even gotten too much time with him before he perished. But she had moved on, somehow, with everything else going on. Had forgotten about him as soon as summer hit and the greatwood beckoned.
And then she’d been trapped, hidden beneath the rounds of Fae guards, sacrificed and forced to relive her traumas.
A sacrifice.
She almost wishes it was like how she thought it was. When she had walked in fully prepared to lose her life for such a crime she had committed. Perhaps she wouldn’t have been blighted, then, forced to attack the very man holding her pieces together when she shouldn’t have even brought such a burden onto him.
That is what she is. A burden.
Everyone has someone, except for her. Because they always keep leaving or dying (she has yet to learn of Ezra’s fate, too) and she’s tired of this endless terrible life she’s become a part of. And so, she trembles in his arms, breaks, falls apart, while he holds her like haphazard glue, trying to make the pieces fit back together the same, but some are ripped and torn at the edges, and they’re never going to be placed back the same. “Do I?” Or is he simply just telling her that.
She thinks it’s a bluff.
can your heart still break?
if it's already stopped breathing?
KIADA
No permission needed for power play!
Feel free to use magic/force on Kiada, without killing her <3
