From being an Abandoned who had rarely left the Hollowed Grounds, to embracing the call of adventure, to dying and being reborn first as an Ascended and then as an Ancient, Maea has gone through quite the amount of changes in her life. One thing remains common, though, in her attempts to find out just where she belongs; she’s always had a craving for knowledge which has brought her to so many places and to meet so many people here in Caido. We can’t wait to see what else is in store for her!
Congratulations, Maea!
Credits
Court of the Fallen was created in October of 2018 by Odd, Honey, and Crooked.
Skinning and hosting by the epically talented Kaons, and functionality fanciness by the coding magic of Neowulf. If you ever see either of them around, make sure to show them some love!
As the other man rambled, Loren’s own embarrassed flush deepened. However, there was an almost giddily joyful smile on his lips. ”Oh. Sorry.” His voice was apologetic, but also happy, almost silly sounding. As Abasi’s hand stroked the summoner’s hip, he let out a pleased hum. ”It means more to me too.” However, there was an awkwardly stilted tone to his words.
As their fingers met, the Launceleyn relaxed somewhat. Giving a soft squeeze, Loren returned to his position at the other man’s side. ”I don’t have any experience either.” The summoner let out a little huff of laughter. ”In my world we had arranged marriages and dalliances or affairs. Nothing...nothing like this.” Pausing, he shifted so he could look into Abasi’s eyes. ”But I am glad we are together. And I’m happy to call this whatever you want.”
It seemed that the both of them were rambling around what it was they actually had to say, which was what this thing that had begun between them was. It was becoming so much a thing it was hard to ignore at this point, especially now when they were warm and in bed together, the glowing warmth of lovemaking still lingering on their skin.
Abasi took a breath and gathered his courage. "Then I think I would like to call it a courtship. Or..whatever the equivalent here is. Something more than just..." He looked down to the twisted sheets, to the cum still splattered across their chests. "Physical things. I believe we...get on well enough for it to be more than that, don't we? I.." He stammered.
He'd hardly ever told his friends he was fond of them. "...I find myself more and more fond of you every day. I am not an affectionate man..nor a romantic one, as I am sure you can tell. But to the best of my ability, I would like to try to be for you." Anxiously he looked up to meet Loren's eyes, to gauge the response.
Abasi didn’t have anything to be uncertain about, because as soon as the word courtship fell from the other man’s lips a big stupid grin blossomed on Loren’s lips. Although he let Abasi finish, as soon as the summoner was sure the other man was done speaking, he reached over, placed his hands on Abasi’s cheeks, and pulled the other man in for a tender kiss. When it was over (which was only when the Launceleyn was a bit breathless) he leaned back. ”A courtship it is. And I'll try to be affectionate and romantic as well." The words were filled with wonder and joy.
Then the corners of the summoner's lips quirked up and he let out a little huff of laughter. "Though I guess that begs the question of who is courting who." He grinned and shifted so that he could try and slip an arm behind Abasi's neck. If successful, the Launceleyn would try to pull the other man close.
Abasi wore a smile to match Loren's, though his was a little more subdued just by nature of who he was (his cheeks nearly hurt from smiling just as wide as he was, which was not really that wide). "I suspect you may be better at it than me. You will have to be patient." He already considered Loren to be much better with sweet words than he was.
Letting himself be dragged in close (though nearly protesting for the mess already on the bed and thinking a bath would be in the cards very soon) Abasi laughed. "Well, I asked you, so I believe that would mean that I am courting you. Which is rather unfortunate, as I should not be the one in charge of this endeavour."
Loren just continued smiling, not at all bothered by Abasi’s doubts. ”Don’t worry. You have your charms.” One of the summoner’s hands drifted up to softly stroke the other man’s cheek. ”But I can be patient, despite what others might think.” As the Launceleyn's arm tugged Abasi closer, Loren gave the other man a gentle squeeze.
Letting out his own bright laughter, the summoner found himself staring at the other man, a deep-seated contentment settling into his bones. "Well, I'm excited to see how you court me." Then the Launceleyn's expression softened. "But it seems unfair that you have to do all the work." His fingers came to rest on the other man's chest. "So perhaps we can court each other." There was a tender tone in Loren's voice.
Despite what others might think. The words reminded Abasi that he had meant to ask Loren about the opinions he'd heard of the man, not all of them necessarily positive. It did not seem like quite the right moment to bring up specifics, but he asked: "What is it others think?"
He closed his eyes and leaned into the hand on his cheek, a warm smile spreading across his face. "That sounds best to me. After all, it is best to go into this as equals." Turning his head, he pressed a kiss to Loren's palm then lifted his own hand up to take Loren's away from his face. "We should go and clean ourselves. I do not like to be messy."
At Abasi’s question Loren’s easy smile faltered. Sighing, the summoner flopped onto his back, releasing the other man. The Launceleyn steepled his fingers and rested his arms across his chest, remaining quiet for a long moment. ”That I’m reckless. That I’m unreliable, and abandon people when they need me most. That I’m a terrible friend. That I don’t think of others, or of how my words and actions might impact them. That I have anger issues. That I try to force people to do the right thing instead of letting them make mistakes. That I poke my nose where I’m not welcome. That I’m a terrible communicator. That I have a pathological need to be a hero and to solve everyone’s issues for them. That I don’t ask for permission or listen to others when I should.”
Turning his head, he gave Abasi a sad smile. ”It’s all true, at least in part. So...if that changes anything, I understand.” Then Loren bit his lip and looked away, unwilling to see the other man’s reaction.
It was impossible to regain the glow from earlier, though the smile and the kiss on the summoner’s palm helped. ”Equals, then.” Still, it was clear from his tone that doubt had crept in. Glancing at Abasi, the Launceleyn sighed, then sat up. Raising his free hand, a small wave of water gently wiped the cum from both of their chests. Then Loren gave a slightly uncertain smile as he dumped the water into the basin.
Loren gave quite the list of flaws, the majority of which Abasi was not aware of. It seemed Loren was more than aware though, from the speed and depth he got into the list. "And do you agree with all these things people say? Loren, it does not change anything for me what others may say about you - I am aware I am hardly a perfect man myself. Besides, I have not seen any of these qualities in you. I will judge you by how you treat me."
He laughed with amazement (and a little bit at the absurdity of it all) as Loren cleaned them off without hardly lifting a finger. "And so far, you have been kind, generous and I find you a good, intelligent conversation partner." Abasi was not in the habit of compliments for the sake of flattery, and he hoped Loren knew that. He meant this.
Remaining silent for a long while, Loren finally sighed and ran a hand through his hair. He gave Abasi a slightly sad smile. ”I don’t know. I think there’s a grain of truth in all of them.” Taking a deep breath, the summoner found himself looking up at the ceiling. ”And I’ve heard them from people whose opinions I usually respect. But…” He trailed off and bit his lip. ”More and more I think it stems from their disappointment when I fail to live up to their expectations of me. Which is on them, not on me.” Shrugging, the Launceleyn gave the other man a sheepish grin.
It morphed into a real smile soon enough. ”I appreciate that you’re willing to judge me on my own merits though.” Loren reached out a hand to try and twine his fingers with Abasi’s and give them a gentle squeeze. ”I’d be happy to put up with your imperfections, and help you work through them, if you put up with mine.” There was a bit of hesitancy in the summoner’s tone, though also a bit of joy.
His cheeks colored at the other man’s compliment. ”Thank you. I am...not used to being praised by others.” Giving Abasi a somewhat shy smile, the Launceleyn brushed some hair from his forehead. ”And I feel the same about you. You’ve made me happier than I have been in a long time. Maybe ever.” And his voice conveyed exactly how much he appreciated that.
"Yes." He supposed since they were having the conversation now, he may as well say the specific people who had spoken to him about Loren. "I have...heard things from both Phoebe and Remi...not anything too awful. Phoebe seemed to wish to warn me about you. Remi...do you two have a past of some kind?"
Their fingers knitted together and Abasi smiled back to Loren. "They are the only merits you deserved to be judged on. I believe if you continue to show people who you are, you may have to grow used to more compliments." Sometimes, he could stumble across a sweet thing to say, even if he meant it entirely seriously and factually.
"I have been the happiest of my life in this manor. My old life was full of extreme, crushing responsibility. I managed it, but I was not living. Here I have seen the value of having time to breathe and work with others. And...you, of course. Before I had always assumed I would die alone with my work, not having had time for something like romance." He'd scarcely expected to ever kiss anyone. Abasi was sure from what he knew of Caido Loren was not any kind of divine gift, but he felt like one.
Groaning, Loren covered his face with his hands. However, he forced himself to take a deep breath, then turn to face Abasi. ”Remi and I were...we have a past, yes.” The Launceleyn’s tone was more than a bit nervous. ”In my old world...men were not allowed to be with men. But Remi and I were drawn to one another. Unfortunately, for a long time, it wasn’t enough to overcome his fear of the repercussions if we did anything, though eventually he got past that. We barely had any time to court one another, though, because right after he did, we were brought here.”
Words still troubled, the summoner forced himself to continue. ”And then we came to Caido, and he thought that, in this new world, with different rules, we could finally be together. But I…” The summoner trailed off and squeezed his eyes shut. ”I couldn’t handle this world, or my family, or any of it. I lost...I lost my mind for a long time.” Biting his lip, Loren opened his eyes and stared into the other man’s. ”When I came back, he was married to my former best friend. I tried to...make things right and just seemed to keep making it worse. But then he asked me to kiss him. So that it would prove…I don’t know. That I would never do anything to harm him, or Ronin.”
The Launceleyn’s voice lost almost all inflection. ”But that hurt me, badly. That he would ask me to do something like that, after everything. After he insisted that we try to be friends. After I told him I didn’t want to do anything to jeopardize him marriage...” Voice trailing off, he glanced at Abasi, wondering what the other man thought of all this.
Then the summoner sighed and shook his head. ”As for Phoebe, she’s Remi’s best friend. I found out they were talking about what happened between me and him and I just kind of lost it. I treated her terribly, because I was so hurt that he’d...tell someone.” His breath caught in his throat. ”And because I...I felt so alone.” Smiling at the other man, the Launceleyn did his best to come back from the dark path his mind was wandering down. It was easy enough given that he was with Abasi. ”I found out later that she thought I’d been flirting with her, and was receptive to my advances. Unfortunately, I was just trying to be kind. Still, I imagine it complicated everything.”
Giving the other man’s fingers a gentle squeeze, the summoner blushed at Abasi’s words. ”Well, thank you. I will try to work on it.” Rather than responding to the other man’s next statement, the Launceleyn shifted so he could give Abasi a tender kiss. When it was done, Loren pulled back and grinned, the earlier unease fully dispelled. ”I’m glad that you’re finding happiness in your life. And that you’re willing to have a courtship with me.”
Then, however, the unease returned in full force. ”But...there’s something else you should know.” Releasing Abasi, the Launceleyn looked away again. ”During LongNight, after the Rathskellar burned down, I got really drunk with the people who’d been there with me when the monsters came. And then we…” His voice trailed off again and he squeezed his eyes shut. ”We slept together.” It came out in the barest of whispers.
Abasi listened quietly to the history of Loren and Remi's relationship, being careful not to react until he had the whole story. He knew that relationships, especially ones in as hard a world as it sounded Loren and Remi's had been, could be complicated. But still, he could not help distaste in his expression as Loren spoke of what Remi had done. "I do not care for those that play games and use confusing tests to prove points. If he had a problem, he should have simply said so and let you both deal with it."
It seemed with Phoebe the situation was a little more complicated, at least to Abasi. "I understand why a young girl would like to think you were interested in her. You are handsome, a man of means. It was likely inevitable."
The kiss made him smile, Abasi marvelling at how something so simple could so effectively wipe away the pain of the sadness in Loren's voice. But there was more to come, it seemed.
Abasi blinked a few times, unsure of quite what to say. On one hand, they had not at that point established themselves as anything, Loren had made no commitment. On the other, he still felt horribly betrayed and jealous, a hot pain hitting his chest that made him shuffle away. "...Who? Who were they?"
At Abasi’s response, Loren sighed, the sound equal parts relief and worry. "We both have trouble saying what we feel, apparently." The summoner spread his hands in a helpless gesture, though his eyes watched the other man's features for any response. "I appreciate that about you. That you speak your mind, I mean." Smiling at Abasi, the Launceleyn's voice was grateful.
Letting out a huff of laughter, Loren shook his head. "I guess I can understand it, though few have described me as handsome or as a man of means before, and it was certainly not my intention to give her any indication that I was interested in her that way." He held up a hand to forestall Abasi's response. "That wasn't me being self-deprecating or doubtful, just stating facts." Grinning at the other man, the summoner took a step closer to Abasi.
Then, though, all traces of joy bled out of the Launceleyn. He shifted his weight from one foot to the other awkwardly. "Sunjata and Lusea." Swallowing, the summoner looked away.
"There is nothing else to speak." Abasi said surely. He had never danced around his thoughts, never tried to save people's feelings. There was no point. The truth was the truth and reality was best dealt with when it was clearly seen.
Loren cut in before he could say what was on the tip of his tongue and Abasi laughed a huff from his nose, surprised he was already so well known. Still, he thought it rather obvious Loren was both handsome and a wealthy man of a successful family. Had he been in Egypt, there would have been girls lining up down the street to have a chance to marry him.
What he was not laughing about though was this news of Longnight trysts. In some ways, it was probably better that he did not know either of the people mentioned. "Well..." He said, collecting his wits and taking in a breath. "I will not lie. I am hurt. But I should not be - we had not made any agreement then. So I will get over it."
