When it had been between deaths of those he loved he had known that one would be lost no matter the choice. He had chosen selfishly, hating the choice but being dragged away from his self-destructive impulse towards martyrdom by the genuine fear of losing that which he loved most in the world.
When it had been between the death of the one he loved most and Amalia's heart, even then he had chosen Rory, chosen his lover's life in the trust and hope that Amalia and Deimos would find one another again, that their bond would be strong enough to endure.
But this? His happiness and Rory's... but on the other side of the scale, a life that could have been saved. There was no justification for it, no argument he could make to himself to mitigate the price even a little. On one side, death. On the other... no one dying. And all it would cost was his heart.
So there was a line he wouldn't cross, hypocritical though it was.
Tears rolled unheeded down his cheeks, his voice dull and colorless as his hair as he answered: "Never... seeing Rory again."
When it had been between the death of the one he loved most and Amalia's heart, even then he had chosen Rory, chosen his lover's life in the trust and hope that Amalia and Deimos would find one another again, that their bond would be strong enough to endure.
But this? His happiness and Rory's... but on the other side of the scale, a life that could have been saved. There was no justification for it, no argument he could make to himself to mitigate the price even a little. On one side, death. On the other... no one dying. And all it would cost was his heart.
So there was a line he wouldn't cross, hypocritical though it was.
Tears rolled unheeded down his cheeks, his voice dull and colorless as his hair as he answered: "Never... seeing Rory again."
