what's this

That wasn't exactly what Oliver meant. It was hard to put his frustrations and thoughts into words. "It's...not really about forgiving me. I don't know...I feel like there's more I can do than just magic. Yeah, people will still view me as being abandoned, but I want to be more than that. I want to do great things, Jigano. I want to help people and use my abilities for good. I feel like if I became attuned, I could do so much more. I could help more people...and I could maybe connect to more people. Find more people willing to befriend me, because so far so many of the Abandoned people I have met ignore me because they view it as a curse." His intentions were a small bit narcissistic in nature, but he was currently in the mindset that becoming an attuned was his solution. He would be happier as an attuned individual. "I think that I'll be happier...more confident." Oliver shook his head and let out a sigh. "Sunjata has...done a lot for me. I saw him after he had shifted and he seemed so happy. He was willing to even take me to Safrin, to have an audience with her. He has done so many amazing things to help me, Jigano, and I think becoming an attuned has made him happier, really." If it made Sunjata happier, then surely it'll make him happier as well. Jigano was also attuned and he seemed very happy, not to forget Remi who was also a very happy individual. Every attuned he had met was happy...but so many abandoneds were ashamed of themselves or lived in a constant state of sadness. "Jigano...the number of times I have been lectured by people here is...a lot. So trust me, I know people don't like who I am." Oliver was steadily becoming frustrated. Maybe he didn't want to confront certain thoughts or maybe Jigano was misunderstanding him. It would be hard to tell which one it was, really, especially when Oliver was struggling so much with even accepting himself. "I do trust people...maybe even a bit too much. I never said that I thought everyone was impatient or unkind...but like I said, I constantly feel like I'm inferior and people constantly remind me of it. I do give tons of people a chance, if I didn't why the fuck would I even be here talking with you? If I'm apparently the kind to not trust people...why wouldn't I be telling you ever single little thing about me?" OLIVER i saw that my life was a vast glowing empty page and i could do anything i wanted